Restless, Irritable - How Do You Handle It?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 87
Restless, Irritable - How Do You Handle It?
Hey all -
Haven't posted in a while here. But I'm coming up on 8 months now, and in general I feel great. I don't want to drink.
That said, that's part of my question here...
Everything in life externally is going generally well, can't really complain. Yet, I'm getting the "restless, irritable, discontent" feelings you hear about in alcoholics.
I just feel restless, like I can't sit still and relax, like I "need" something, yet I have no clue what I need... (does this sound familiar to anyone here by the way?). This leads to me being irritable and of course discontent...
I don't want to drink at all logically, but sometimes I'll get flashes of thought that "a drink would make this better". But, for me drinking is not in the cards, and again nor do I want to.
But, I do want this feeling gone. For me, it seems like I feel these feelings and I look for external things that might be causing it - is it something I need to "get" in work, health, or is it something I "don't" have.
The issue is anything external may help for a little bit but ultimately these feelings come back.
Has anyone gotten this? Is this common around the 8 month time frame? How do you deal with it?
Thank you all!
Haven't posted in a while here. But I'm coming up on 8 months now, and in general I feel great. I don't want to drink.
That said, that's part of my question here...
Everything in life externally is going generally well, can't really complain. Yet, I'm getting the "restless, irritable, discontent" feelings you hear about in alcoholics.
I just feel restless, like I can't sit still and relax, like I "need" something, yet I have no clue what I need... (does this sound familiar to anyone here by the way?). This leads to me being irritable and of course discontent...
I don't want to drink at all logically, but sometimes I'll get flashes of thought that "a drink would make this better". But, for me drinking is not in the cards, and again nor do I want to.
But, I do want this feeling gone. For me, it seems like I feel these feelings and I look for external things that might be causing it - is it something I need to "get" in work, health, or is it something I "don't" have.
The issue is anything external may help for a little bit but ultimately these feelings come back.
Has anyone gotten this? Is this common around the 8 month time frame? How do you deal with it?
Thank you all!
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Very good. Very important question. A universal problem, not just for alcoholics.
Remember, this will also pass.
Patience is very important.
Accepting reality as it is helps the letting go. As one lets go, the unpleasant feelings one habitually does not want seem to intensify and the old habit of suppressing using alcohol asserts itself. Patience, the feelings will undergo change and inevitably pass. Fear and restlessness may increase. It too will pass. No need to be afraid of fear. It comes and it goes. Facilitate the passing by adopting a non attached mindset. "ah, at the moment an unpleasant, unwanted feeling is there. Lets see how long it lasts". Meanwhile just get on with doing the wholesome things that are necessary, day to day.
Remember, this will also pass.
Patience is very important.
Accepting reality as it is helps the letting go. As one lets go, the unpleasant feelings one habitually does not want seem to intensify and the old habit of suppressing using alcohol asserts itself. Patience, the feelings will undergo change and inevitably pass. Fear and restlessness may increase. It too will pass. No need to be afraid of fear. It comes and it goes. Facilitate the passing by adopting a non attached mindset. "ah, at the moment an unpleasant, unwanted feeling is there. Lets see how long it lasts". Meanwhile just get on with doing the wholesome things that are necessary, day to day.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,826
When I was early on in sobriety and not "feeling it", I was advised to start practicing gratitude every day. It was hard at first but I kept it up and now it's a habit. It's made my sobriety stronger and it's made me happier.
Give it a try.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
Give it a try.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,244
“The issue is anything external may help for a little bit but ultimately these feelings come back.”
yes, well, that suggests the problem is internal.
when i found myself in that place (though it took me longer to get there than you), i decided to do the 12step program, though i had been sober quite a while. i decided it would likely , if applied, lead me to take care of my discontentments, resentments, harms i had done and needed to clean up, and give me a way to prevent me from adding new messes.
turned out to be so for the most part.
yes, well, that suggests the problem is internal.
when i found myself in that place (though it took me longer to get there than you), i decided to do the 12step program, though i had been sober quite a while. i decided it would likely , if applied, lead me to take care of my discontentments, resentments, harms i had done and needed to clean up, and give me a way to prevent me from adding new messes.
turned out to be so for the most part.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
I have some personal experience with this.
I was sober for about the same time as you are now and was feeling about the same.
Talked to quite a few people and they all reassured me that if I just stayed sober everything would fall into place, not to worry etc. Just stay sober !!
So I did and well ... long story short I just plodded on till about the 2 year mark. By then I was miserable, suicidal, not just irritable but downright rageful. I was in a worse mental state at this point than I had been at the cessation of the drinking 2 years ago ... but apparently, if I just stopped drinking, everything would be okay ..... why wasn't this happening for me ? Why wasn't I improving ? You'd think things would be on the up after 2 years right ?
I went back to the same people and told them this just isn't getting any better , help !! What do I do ? No one had any answers because what I was going through, just wasn't their experience, they just stopped drinking and everything slowly improved. They didn't know any different.
So through painful experience, I now understand that there is a difference between a problem drinker and an alcoholic.
It looks the same whilst drinking, the difference emerges when we stop.
Problem drinkers problems go away when they stop drinking.
The alcoholic finds that alcohol is only half the problem.
That's why alcoholics have a program and steps to live by post quitting.
Problem drinkers just stop drinking and get on with it.
There is a ton of help out there for people like us, from people who have been through the same thing.
My advice would be to hurry on and find those people and get the help. ☺️
I was sober for about the same time as you are now and was feeling about the same.
Talked to quite a few people and they all reassured me that if I just stayed sober everything would fall into place, not to worry etc. Just stay sober !!
So I did and well ... long story short I just plodded on till about the 2 year mark. By then I was miserable, suicidal, not just irritable but downright rageful. I was in a worse mental state at this point than I had been at the cessation of the drinking 2 years ago ... but apparently, if I just stopped drinking, everything would be okay ..... why wasn't this happening for me ? Why wasn't I improving ? You'd think things would be on the up after 2 years right ?
I went back to the same people and told them this just isn't getting any better , help !! What do I do ? No one had any answers because what I was going through, just wasn't their experience, they just stopped drinking and everything slowly improved. They didn't know any different.
So through painful experience, I now understand that there is a difference between a problem drinker and an alcoholic.
It looks the same whilst drinking, the difference emerges when we stop.
Problem drinkers problems go away when they stop drinking.
The alcoholic finds that alcohol is only half the problem.
That's why alcoholics have a program and steps to live by post quitting.
Problem drinkers just stop drinking and get on with it.
There is a ton of help out there for people like us, from people who have been through the same thing.
My advice would be to hurry on and find those people and get the help. ☺️
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 2
Problem drinker
I quit drinking the end of Dec 2018. I had drank daily for 34 years. I don't consider myself as an alcoholic, but as a problem drinker. I loved the taste of it and could not stop. To me, it was like coffee. It was a habit. I quit because my heart kept palpitating and it seems to get worse. It's been hell and even though some symptoms have gotten better (my heart no longer gives me problems and my sleep is better), I still feel crappy with anxiety, stomach problems and depression. I have no desire to drink again and feel that even as a problem drinker and not an alcoholic, my symptoms/problems have not gone away and in some form is with me daily. That gives me the idea that it's going to take me maybe 3 years before I no longer have symptoms. In those 34 years, I drank very heavy. I am thankful I was able to quit on my own and was never tempted to take another drink. It was either for me to get healthy or end up dying sooner if I didn't.
QUOTE=Derringer;7531506]I have some personal experience with this.
I was sober for about the same time as you are now and was feeling about the same.
Talked to quite a few people and they all reassured me that if I just stayed sober everything would fall into place, not to worry etc. Just stay sober !!
So I did and well ... long story short I just plodded on till about the 2 year mark. By then I was miserable, suicidal, not just irritable but downright rageful. I was in a worse mental state at this point than I had been at the cessation of the drinking 2 years ago ... but apparently, if I just stopped drinking, everything would be okay ..... why wasn't this happening for me ? Why wasn't I improving ? You'd think things would be on the up after 2 years right ?
I went back to the same people and told them this just isn't getting any better , help !! What do I do ? No one had any answers because what I was going through, just wasn't their experience, they just stopped drinking and everything slowly improved. They didn't know any different.
So through painful experience, I now understand that there is a difference between a problem drinker and an alcoholic.
It looks the same whilst drinking, the difference emerges when we stop.
Problem drinkers problems go away when they stop drinking.
The alcoholic finds that alcohol is only half the problem.
That's why alcoholics have a program and steps to live by post quitting.
Problem drinkers just stop drinking and get on with it.
There is a ton of help out there for people like us, from people who have been through the same thing.
My advice would be to hurry on and find those people and get the help. ☺️[/QUOTE]
QUOTE=Derringer;7531506]I have some personal experience with this.
I was sober for about the same time as you are now and was feeling about the same.
Talked to quite a few people and they all reassured me that if I just stayed sober everything would fall into place, not to worry etc. Just stay sober !!
So I did and well ... long story short I just plodded on till about the 2 year mark. By then I was miserable, suicidal, not just irritable but downright rageful. I was in a worse mental state at this point than I had been at the cessation of the drinking 2 years ago ... but apparently, if I just stopped drinking, everything would be okay ..... why wasn't this happening for me ? Why wasn't I improving ? You'd think things would be on the up after 2 years right ?
I went back to the same people and told them this just isn't getting any better , help !! What do I do ? No one had any answers because what I was going through, just wasn't their experience, they just stopped drinking and everything slowly improved. They didn't know any different.
So through painful experience, I now understand that there is a difference between a problem drinker and an alcoholic.
It looks the same whilst drinking, the difference emerges when we stop.
Problem drinkers problems go away when they stop drinking.
The alcoholic finds that alcohol is only half the problem.
That's why alcoholics have a program and steps to live by post quitting.
Problem drinkers just stop drinking and get on with it.
There is a ton of help out there for people like us, from people who have been through the same thing.
My advice would be to hurry on and find those people and get the help. ☺️[/QUOTE]
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,244
welcome, bottle.
way to go on five days. if you want sobriety you will need something like a plan for how to navigate those times when you "feel like", so that the "yet" doesn't happen. the "yet" you put in there sounds like a plan for future drinking.
way to go on five days. if you want sobriety you will need something like a plan for how to navigate those times when you "feel like", so that the "yet" doesn't happen. the "yet" you put in there sounds like a plan for future drinking.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
Originally Posted by bottle 
i think i will get 7 days but im planning to drink on Saturday
***started on the morning of the 21st September but decided to take it into the month of October.
Had a big hangover the night of the 20th of September and felt awful the next day***
also
***sadly doens't look like it will last. Still not had a drink yet but don't think I can resist any longer and may drink tomorrow***
and
***i'm about to have some drinks. 20 days is still pretty good for me. sadly just going to have to learn to live with binges or nights out etc..***
New Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by Rockbottom1964
You sound very much like a guy/member called "glassman" to me, bottle. Here are a few of his posts. Perhaps they'll ring a bell...
Originally Posted by Rockbottom1964
***started on the morning of the 21st September but decided to take it into the month of October.
Had a big hangover the night of the 20th of September and felt awful the next day***
also
***sadly doens't look like it will last. Still not had a drink yet but don't think I can resist any longer and may drink tomorrow***
and
***i'm about to have some drinks. 20 days is still pretty good for me. sadly just going to have to learn to live with binges or nights out etc..***
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,244
Originally Posted by bottle
i think i will get 7 days but im planning to drink on Saturday
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
Originally Posted by back4good
Is that a problem? aren't we all welcome?
But that's just my opinion - like you have yours. And I, for one, believe I’m on the right Forum.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,244
Originally Posted by Wheredsdatimego
The people here sound great. I feel quite alone though and fearful of the future.
what would be helpful to you?
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