Sunny27

Hiya, same for me. I have never attended an AA meeting. I joined here the day I decided I had to quit. I'll be 10 years without a drink in January. I've said before this site changed my life and saved my life. Whatever works, stick with it

AL48

If it works use it. I never did, i felt at the time it would embarrass me and my family. How the drunk mind work i suppose, its funny really when i drank people worried if i had to much. Now the question is why aren't you having a drink? Do you have a problem? How much did you drink?. I never tell them i just say it was to much for me, and makes me feel unwell. They always seem to need a number probably to compare to themselves.

BrianinLondon

Having gone to AA and then deciding it wasn't for me (I was full of judgement and thought the people were grim, the rooms were grim and I never really attempted to fully understand the steps), I went back 16 months ago. I'm really glad I did, in particular for the step 4 moral inventory which gave me an extremely thorough understanding of how I tick and how my ego negatively influences my approach to situations and wellbeing in general - being able to spot it and forgive myself for what is ultimately a default setting was / is immensely freeing. I am much better able to now spot when I am being unreasonable, obstinate, arrogant, full of self pity etc. By reflecting on it and assigning those feelings to the innate self centred fear that we all feel as humans, I can forgive myself for those impulses and work to override them - which takes the form of getting out of self and not thinking about me, me me - that might be calling another alcoholic, helping someone or just generally trying to do my best to do the next right thing. I also think it was a very constructive exercise to accept help from those who, on first appearances I would have judged / almost sneared at in my head, but who had an immense amount to teach me about myself and life. A bit of humility never went astray and I needed a hell of a lot of humility and a large dose of ego deflation.

Doing the steps is a great process and can only lead to greater happiness. It doesn't have to be full on and if someone is telling you off / telling you what to do in the fellowship, then that's probably a red flag. Most good sponsors will gently and kindly guide you. I chose a sponsor who was not a dictatorial guy in any way as I didn't need a "my way or the highway person but more of a supportive and compassionate confidant. Over 6 or 7 sessions we must have spent north of 20 hours going through my step 5 - he knows everything about me now and how I approach life - when I get off course with my thinking and I start to catastrophise he always brings me back to earth and helps me get over myself and to snap out of it. It was such a privilege being given that time by someone who not only didn't resent doing it, but was happy to do it as helping me helped keep him sober. Even if I had paid someone for those 20+ hours I would never have had the degree of engagement I got from my sponsor and for that I feel truly privileged. It was an emotional experience and I have found a friend for life. And I have also found the basis for lasting peace. I just need to maintain my emotional and spiritual condition by keeping myself in check and doing my best / being honest etc. Sometimes it is hard keeping myself in check, but if I put a genuine effort in I will always get back to peace. Hope that helps

SnazzyDresser

I saw I'd posted in this thread earlier, turns out it was back in 2019 after my initial AA experience. Since then I've keep going back (hahaha that's what they say, see) now and then, first to an "agnostic" AA group in early 2020 which was interesting but I was going the other way, starting to believe in God myself after almost going full-octane Buddhist. Now I've got a more conventional group I'm comfortable with, I go every Wednesday at noon, very small meetings but really perfect for me. I'm never gonna get a sponsor or formally "work the steps" but they know that and I'm right on the big issues so they tolerate me ok hahaha. I like it and it has helped my rebuilding my atrophied social skills immensely. Also brought me closer to God, which is really the crux of the whole thing I'd say!

When I "share" (or as I tend to say, "I'm gonna talk now") in meetings, I always always always say I got sober at an online sobriety website. And inside I think, "Thank God I found SR and the great people there back in 2016!"

Canadian Koala

Thanks for your post Snazz, it was great to read.
I've quit two times, first in 1993 for 1½ year and again in 2016 (I'll reach 6 years in a few days)
Both times I've used 12 steps communities to help me, in a very intense way in 1993 and almost nonexistent in 2016.
I was rather agnostic in 1993 but I am now completely atheist.
This interferes a lot with the notion of God which is found in almost all the steps.
I go to meetings from time to time to find people who are looking for sobriety like me.
I still have my sponsor from 1993 who has become my best friend over time.
He's been sober for 31 years and is an atheist like me, so we understand each other well.
My home base and therapy house has been SR for the past six years.
I am immensely grateful to everyone who has helped me over the years on SR.
Thanks friends

aasharon90

I began my recovery journey in a 28 rehab stay with
a six week outpatiant after care program followed by
many many AA meetings thru out the yrs., listening,
learning, absorbing and applying the knowledge of
addiction and a recovery program taught to me.

Sitting in meetings where I always felt a part of, amongst
many folks just like me, accepting me without questions,
gave me the strength, courage and willingness to stay
sober no matter what.

With changes in life I gravitated towards this place,
SR, to pass on, share my own experiences, strengths
and hopes of what my life was like before, during and
after alcohol so that those just beginning their recovery
journey know that they are not alone.

Recovery support, whether sitting in meetings or
at your computer connected online, both are important
in helping achieve and build a stronger recovery
foundation to live your life upon moving forward.

It works if you work it.

Zencat

I attended AA for a few years. I went for support without working the steps. Eventually I decided AA wasn't for me and went for another recovery practice. AA works for some. Others like myself have found a secular approach to recover servers them as well

I say work a program of recovery that makes sense to you. Its working for me.

ashlayha87

AA has been a wonderful option for my dad, and I have attended meetings with him for support, but not as a part of my personal recovery. I will never say a negative word about AA, as they have helped my dad through every relapse he’s had and always welcomed him back with open arms.

There is a certain level of vulnerability that comes with AA, and I don’t feel like I’m prepared for that.

novips

My pitch on this site is that there is a type of alcoholic for whom only AA will work in terms of keeping them clean and sober (and I am one of those types). A response I typically see to this assertion is a recitation of how many people got sober without AA. But that's completely irrelevant. To refute the proposition you'd need to show that all alcoholics are free to choose from a buffet line of solutions including, but not limited to, AA. Given that we once lived in a world wherein there was no solution for alcoholism (i.e., except in a few rare cases real alcoholics ended up with jails, institutions, or death -- but certainly not recovery), the proposition that for at least some types of alcoholics there may be only one solution is utterly reasonable. And that has certainly been my experience and the experience of countless others I've heard testify to the same truth.

24hrsAday

MY Experience IF it helps anyone is that I NEEDED
the Meetings and 'Attempting' to do the steps to the best of my Ability.
I Got a sponsor.. he Died. I got another sponsor and then he Died.. since then Much Time has passed.
I No Longer NEED the Meetings.. but, I am still sober Living just a Day at a Time.

gatorman

No

jaerp

I will next time

BlakeV

I echo OP's feeling and my answer is and will be no. I am in a high management position for a large global group, and in this ultra-competitive world, if it smells blood, prepare to deal with the consequences & likely losses. This is how harsh my world is. It is not my style anyway; I just won't talk of private stuff to strangers. This is only me, great that AA works for some people.

DanielBoucher

Other because once I quit with the help of AA and once I quit without AA.

Grymt

All of the above. AA based rehabs have been important in helping me develop (hammering into my thick skull) sobriety oriented habits. Mindfulness meditation and vipassana meditation and the good companions I’ve come across as a result have helped me let go of the various great and small ‘traumas’ experienced in lives. A long term psychiatrist counselling has helped all along the way. Strangely enough having after some years of regular dental work the lack of pains there are very calming. I think many addicts upon kicking the habit find their teeth are in a sorry state. Fortunately the money freed up by not spending on drugs and booze is enough to have the necessary insurance and be able to pay cost gaps. Similarly a gradual adoption of moderate good food habits really calms the guts. All this leads to a most welcome inner calm and serenity and growing happiness with simplicity.

LowBones

I went aa meetings at the request of the court back in my 20s. Never really spoke to me then, but at least I found out what it was about. After many points of trying figure out sober on my own, I am now a few years away from 50 and giving Sr a shot. Seems like a format I can work with a lot better.

silentrun

I used this website to recover. Half the people I recovered with were also in AA so, in a way I was. We all shared our tools with each other. On my first anniversary sober my mind tried to tell me I wasn't a "real alcoholic" .because I didn't go to treatment or AA. The people on here confirmed my suspicions that this was an AV trick so I went to one meeting to show the AV I really meant what I said. I don't care how long that AV has been silent. It will wait for the perfect moment and spin your head so fast you can't tell up from down. That's where trusting others comes in. People who have silenced their AV know it's voice. It uses the same tricks on all of us.

Fast forward ten years to just a few months ago where it had me down. I wasn't in danger of drinking but the pain was the same that drove me to drink. I knew if I couldn't solve I would self destruct even if I never touched a drop. I gave myself too much time to solve without bringing in outside help so I was desperate. I couldn't wait for a therapist so I went to a NA meeting with a coworker. People were not sharing much so the guy leading the meeting shared an incident that had happened to him where he feel out of the solution. He was working out his problem and by his example I saw my error. I thanked him after the meeting. I said, "I knew that, I just couldn't see it because I was in so much pain" He said to me "Iron sharpens Iron." He knew I wasn't in AA..

silentrun

To those in AA who have found the solution. Is this it?

(8) Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars (2007 Version) - YouTube

shortstop81

I did go to AA. A lot. It did not get me sober.

I know it has saved countless lives, and for many addicts this model is the only one that worked for them. Just not for me.

sugarbear1

Almost 13 years later and I'm still enjoying the ride thanks to working those steps of AA.