Not certain I have an alcohol addiction
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"during your period when you found it necessary to polish off every last drop of booze in your house,"
This is not an accurate restatement of my statement. "The rest of my drinking [during the Jan to Apr period] was confined to whatever we had lying around that my husband would not notice was gone." There is plenty of booze left here in my house.
This is not an accurate restatement of my statement. "The rest of my drinking [during the Jan to Apr period] was confined to whatever we had lying around that my husband would not notice was gone." There is plenty of booze left here in my house.
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"...you are going to have some tough days ahead with your husband, taking booze off the table let you be there for him fully and for yourself. And from reading your posts, I don't even think it would be that hard for you -- its just a shift in mind set "
Yes, I totally agree about the shift. I am extremely cognizant of addictive thinking (again, that long back story...) and impulses. I heard an interesting clip the other day on a talk show about how the mind's reward system gets activated by the thought of whatever it is people indulge on for pleasure, e.g. sugar, alcohol, drugs, etc. The anticipation alone feeds the "addiction" like an appetizer. Whenever I notice my mind going to such thoughts, I remind myself that these are symptoms of "withdrawal" and, over time, I [hopefully] won't have these cravings anymore.
Yes, I totally agree about the shift. I am extremely cognizant of addictive thinking (again, that long back story...) and impulses. I heard an interesting clip the other day on a talk show about how the mind's reward system gets activated by the thought of whatever it is people indulge on for pleasure, e.g. sugar, alcohol, drugs, etc. The anticipation alone feeds the "addiction" like an appetizer. Whenever I notice my mind going to such thoughts, I remind myself that these are symptoms of "withdrawal" and, over time, I [hopefully] won't have these cravings anymore.
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I'm glad you are still not drinking.
Anticipation and euphoric recall were big things with me when I quit. I found other activities that gave me great pleasure to look forward to. For me that was walks outdoors, studying things of interest, going to the zoo, doing small projects around the house.
It required quite a bit of mindful action for me to reprogram my mind, and it took months. That, "Drinkdrinkdrinknomatterwhat," had to be flipped to, "I will never drink again."
Anticipation and euphoric recall were big things with me when I quit. I found other activities that gave me great pleasure to look forward to. For me that was walks outdoors, studying things of interest, going to the zoo, doing small projects around the house.
It required quite a bit of mindful action for me to reprogram my mind, and it took months. That, "Drinkdrinkdrinknomatterwhat," had to be flipped to, "I will never drink again."
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Thanks, biminiblue. I am glad, too, as I physically feel much better. I find life is all about decisions and adjustments along the way. As long as I am headed towards the goal of keeping my disease away (the CVD I mentioned) and I feel good, I am happy with the choices I have been making of late.
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Excellent, keep it going. The first couple months are the hard bit, so be prepared for unexpected "opportunities" to drink. I had things prepared to say when offered a drink and I had actions pre-determined if I became uncomfortable around other drinkers. It gets easier, but a lot of things blind-sided me in early days.
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These urges sure are still here. About two hours ago, I had the strongest urge to dip into our liquor cabinet. I hadn't had dinner yet, so I ate instead. I had a bit of chocolate for dessert, which I don't like to eat much (CVD and all) but the craving for alcohol has gone away. Good!
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CYO....said gently and because every word is brilliant, I'd read and reread Sassy's post, which is a response to Dee's. Then again. Because those two posts are so. entirely. true. In my experience, that is.
Which brings me to one other thing: I quibbled over semantics and requoting myself and others, and this word or that word til it almost killed me. Again, my experience; which leads me to this:
I'd add the word YET to about 99% of your statements. A lot of them are about what you know you won't be like, won't do, won't let control you....I wasn't an out of control, nearly 24/7 vodka drinker, given a yr to 18 mo to live....til I was. Plenty of folks can put yet at the end of statements a lot less extreme than that one - and so could I, for a good while.
Hope you stay sober. Living matters to me most, and living well, not whether I'm categorized as a blonde, a Southerner, an alcoholic or anything else.
Which brings me to one other thing: I quibbled over semantics and requoting myself and others, and this word or that word til it almost killed me. Again, my experience; which leads me to this:
I'd add the word YET to about 99% of your statements. A lot of them are about what you know you won't be like, won't do, won't let control you....I wasn't an out of control, nearly 24/7 vodka drinker, given a yr to 18 mo to live....til I was. Plenty of folks can put yet at the end of statements a lot less extreme than that one - and so could I, for a good while.
Hope you stay sober. Living matters to me most, and living well, not whether I'm categorized as a blonde, a Southerner, an alcoholic or anything else.
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A friend's father, who was a terrible alcoholic decades ago, told me that these cravings should go away about a few weeks or a month after stopping drinking. It does feel like it is getting easier and easier. Yesterday night was much easier to fight than previous nights. I am glad that someone mentioned taking the time to do things that are enjoyable as a distraction, so to speak. I watched a movie last night that I have been wanting to watch for a while. I'm proud of myself. Now, just have to keep it up!
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The cravings lessen, that is for sure. And the first few months were definitely the hardest for me. But I got hit at six months with a really strong urge to drink - for no apparent reason. It was a battle for me for a few hours, and I've heard similar stories many times. So I just made peace with it, and distract myself with other thoughts.
I am sober over five years now. I still have romantic thoughts every now and then about having a drink. Doesn't mean I will, it's just a memory that is triggered by things like...Spring! Sitting out in the Sun! Pool parties.
I don't think the go-to reaction will completely go away. Now it's a memory I won't act upon - but it's there in the undercurrent of my thoughts. I keep saying, "Yep, I don't drink."
I don't need to say it very often any more - and for that I'm truly grateful.
I am sober over five years now. I still have romantic thoughts every now and then about having a drink. Doesn't mean I will, it's just a memory that is triggered by things like...Spring! Sitting out in the Sun! Pool parties.
I don't think the go-to reaction will completely go away. Now it's a memory I won't act upon - but it's there in the undercurrent of my thoughts. I keep saying, "Yep, I don't drink."
I don't need to say it very often any more - and for that I'm truly grateful.
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Originally Posted by CallingYouOut 
"during your period when you found it necessary to polish off every last drop of booze in your house,"
This is not an accurate restatement of my statement. "The rest of my drinking [during the Jan to Apr period] was confined to whatever we had lying around that my husband would not notice was gone." There is plenty of booze left here in my house.
This is not an accurate restatement of my statement. "The rest of my drinking [during the Jan to Apr period] was confined to whatever we had lying around that my husband would not notice was gone." There is plenty of booze left here in my house.
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Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 19
I watched this fascinating documentary about addiction this morning. At first, I thought that I would learn nothing new but, turns out, I did. It was heartbreaking to watch the infants born addicted.
NOVA
Addiction
Season 45 Episode 12 | 53m 27s
Hear firsthand from individuals struggling with addiction and follow the cutting-edge work of doctors and scientists as they investigate why addiction is not a moral failing, but a chronic, treatable medical condition. Easy access to drugs like heroin, fentanyl, and even prescription medications like OxyContin has fueled an epidemic of addiction—the deadliest in U.S. history.
Aired: 09/25/18
NOVA
Addiction
Season 45 Episode 12 | 53m 27s
Hear firsthand from individuals struggling with addiction and follow the cutting-edge work of doctors and scientists as they investigate why addiction is not a moral failing, but a chronic, treatable medical condition. Easy access to drugs like heroin, fentanyl, and even prescription medications like OxyContin has fueled an epidemic of addiction—the deadliest in U.S. history.
Aired: 09/25/18
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 557
I have heard many times that, "If you have problems because of alcohol, then you have a problem with alcohol." I have found that to be true. It doesn't matter if I call myself an alcoholic. Drinking caused problems for me. When I told myself I would stop, I didn't. So I found I needed help. Support groups gave me accountability and AA literature gave me insight, but there is no magic. No amount of self-awareness or addiction research could make me stay sober. I had to just quit. And every day, I make the decision not to drink for today. Taking a drink today will not add anything to my life, and could cause me problems.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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I just went back and re-read Sassy's post about her friend, and it reminded me again that that will NEVER be me.
Being totally honest, I have to admit, I do sometiems still wish it were, but it is not.
2-4 glasses a week, water after one glass, so much harder than stopping.
Which confirms yet again, why would we?
Thanks everyone for the great thread, and so happy for you CMO. You have enough on your plate, taking alcohol off is a wonderful decision and gift to yourself.
Being totally honest, I have to admit, I do sometiems still wish it were, but it is not.
2-4 glasses a week, water after one glass, so much harder than stopping.
Which confirms yet again, why would we?
Thanks everyone for the great thread, and so happy for you CMO. You have enough on your plate, taking alcohol off is a wonderful decision and gift to yourself.
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Join Date: May 2019
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Hi everyone,
YES, still sober! Not a drop between whenever it was I stopped (it's all a blur now) at the middle to end of April and now. I've just been terribly distracted by some major crises with my husband's health. He suffered a life-threatening event May 13th and I've been dealing with that the past couple of weeks. We were out of town as he was brought from one ER, to another ER, and then down to NYC. It's been a little bit of hell but I haven't wanted to drink at all except for one brief moment when this all started going down and I didn't know at the time how serious it was.
He's out of the woods but the saga continues. As this can happen again at any time, long story but there are steps that are needed before the risk is eliminated, I am TOTALLY sticking to the sober bus. I have to be there for him 100% to continue saving his life..... it's been quite an ordeal, but I have no time to explain.
Just popping in to say HI!
YES, still sober! Not a drop between whenever it was I stopped (it's all a blur now) at the middle to end of April and now. I've just been terribly distracted by some major crises with my husband's health. He suffered a life-threatening event May 13th and I've been dealing with that the past couple of weeks. We were out of town as he was brought from one ER, to another ER, and then down to NYC. It's been a little bit of hell but I haven't wanted to drink at all except for one brief moment when this all started going down and I didn't know at the time how serious it was.
He's out of the woods but the saga continues. As this can happen again at any time, long story but there are steps that are needed before the risk is eliminated, I am TOTALLY sticking to the sober bus. I have to be there for him 100% to continue saving his life..... it's been quite an ordeal, but I have no time to explain.
Just popping in to say HI!
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by CallingYouOut
Hi everyone,
YES, still sober! Not a drop between whenever it was I stopped (it's all a blur now) at the middle to end of April and now. I've just been terribly distracted by some major crises with my husband's health. He suffered a life-threatening event May 13th and I've been dealing with that the past couple of weeks. We were out of town as he was brought from one ER, to another ER, and then down to NYC. It's been a little bit of hell but I haven't wanted to drink at all except for one brief moment when this all started going down and I didn't know at the time how serious it was.
He's out of the woods but the saga continues. As this can happen again at any time, long story but there are steps that are needed before the risk is eliminated, I am TOTALLY sticking to the sober bus. I have to be there for him 100% to continue saving his life..... it's been quite an ordeal, but I have no time to explain.
Just popping in to say HI!
YES, still sober! Not a drop between whenever it was I stopped (it's all a blur now) at the middle to end of April and now. I've just been terribly distracted by some major crises with my husband's health. He suffered a life-threatening event May 13th and I've been dealing with that the past couple of weeks. We were out of town as he was brought from one ER, to another ER, and then down to NYC. It's been a little bit of hell but I haven't wanted to drink at all except for one brief moment when this all started going down and I didn't know at the time how serious it was.
He's out of the woods but the saga continues. As this can happen again at any time, long story but there are steps that are needed before the risk is eliminated, I am TOTALLY sticking to the sober bus. I have to be there for him 100% to continue saving his life..... it's been quite an ordeal, but I have no time to explain.
Just popping in to say HI!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 19
I had a few glasses of red wine yesterday afternoon. It was entirely dissatisfying. My husband had a long day at work but was safely with an employee of his who was with him the entire time. They drove together to/from the site (one of the business's numerous locations), my husband driving there and the employee driving them back. Knowing he was in good hands, I relaxed a little and was thankful for a moment to myself. Since I had not had any alcohol for a couple of months, I guess my tolerance is down because it hit me harder than I was used to. Within an hour, I was asleep. I had a couple hours' nap and he was home at around 9:15 pm. Yeah, I was not impressed. LOL. Back on the sober bus. Just isn't doing anything for me. And that's a good thing.
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