Lascaux

Repeat relapser here - I can quit for a couple of days or a couple of weeks, then fall right back into heavy drinking. I'm an introvert and terrified at the thought of AA. I've read lots of post where folks refer to their sobriety plan or toolkit; what does this need to cover? In the past I've tried eating better, rehydrating, taking vitamins, getting on a better sleep schedule and (once past the first groggy day or two) exercising more, but it's not doing the trick for me long term. I'm not looking for a magic bullet, but some new ideas I can try out. Thanks, guys!

Lascaux

PS - is there anyone that I can do a daily check-in with? Nothing time consuming, just a "Still Sober". If I knew someone would e-mail me to make sure I was still on board it would help.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Lascaux. If you've never read the following link, it's must-read for anyone trying to decide on a path forward in sobriety. There is really no one single one that works for everyone, I have used a combination of many of them. In addition to official sobriety "plans", Ive used therapy, help from my doctor, self-help, meditation and mindfulness, and general health things such as diet, exercise, sleep, etc.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))

Regarding the daily check-in, we have exactly that here over in the newcomers section. You could join the class of July 2018, and there are daily, weekend and weekly threads where people do just that - post as often as you like to stay in touch. I would not rule out local help either - recovery groups of any kind can be very beneficial, and you'll get over the anxiety very quickly if you just go to a meeting. Everyone there is there for exactly the same reason you would be so there's really nothing to fear at all.

SoberCAH

We are really glad you're here with us.

I was afraid of AA, also, but the treatment center I went to took us to meetings every night.

I was so introverted without alcohol that I even had anxiety attacks early on.

But AA is filled, largely, with people like us - namely, people who want to not drink.

I go to meetings all over the country and they are always friendly and welcoming.

And, most importantly, I haven't had a drink since I started attending meetings and working the 12 step program.

It's my toolkit.

There are other methodologies on the landscape and others can describe them to you.

Please keep us posted regularly.

You're certainly doing the right thing.

RoverVA

Thank you for sharing about the July 2018 class. I need to check it out.

Lascaux

Thanks so much, guys! The link was a great start and I'll join up with the class, too. Today was easy (liquor stores closed) so I'm planning out my day tomorrow to stay on track.

ScottFromWI

Glad to hear it Lascaux, congrats on staying sober today. Planning out your day sounds like a good idea too - I used to actually write out my entire days plan early on to reduce idle time where my addiction could speak up. Even it if was something as simple as "read a book" or "take a walk''... I would put it in my calendar so I always had something to be doing.

Forward12

The most important (IMO) is understanding the AV/allergy/subconscious mind, however you approach it.
Don't just "wing it" as you will fail. Rational recovery is the most popular online approach, though once you need to reach further, addiction therapists, AA, SMART, Refuge recovery, all offer in person options.

Lascaux

Good point. My AV is a very persistent and devious bastard. I've read a bit of rational recovery and like it!

rustygolf

I'm checking in the July class. I need something\someplace to be accountable to as well. Let's do this.

least

Here's the class of July thread in newcomers.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-1-a.html (Class of July 2018 Part 1)

and here's the current weekender thread in newcomers.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-2018-a.html (Weekender Thread 12 - 16th July 2018)

and here's the 24 hour thread in daily support

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-398-a.html (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 398)

joandmelandhan

Lascaux I would recommend all of the threads mentioned above by Least. Committing here every day without fail really helped me.
One thing I did was put together a kind of emergency plan for the early days/weeks. As I spend 2 night a week apart from my daughters I really did need something rock solid on those nights.
I tried to include the basics such as ensuring I had food in the house and gas in the car so that I had no excuse to venture out to the shops (yes on the risky nights I imprisoned myself!)
I also put together a list of things to do when the craving came (because of course they did - I am addicted to alcohol). For example:
Down a pint of water straight away
Eat
Have a hot shower
Post on SR BEFOREI gave in to temptation
Have a good cry
Watch a docu on advanced alcoholism
Do some vigorous housework
Cry again
Drink more water
Call my mum or a friend
etc etc etc...……….
Then there was the planning I needed to do where I knew I would find myself in a situation where alcohol may be present:
Have a cover story I was comfortable with
Always drive
Avoid the situation if I felt at risk
Never go hungry / thirsty
Have an escape plan
etc etc etc...…….
I didn't put together a "lifestyle" plan until I felt sufficiently out of the woods in terms of the immediate danger of relapse.
It is important to remember the gravity of the situation and that we are indeed saving our lives. Get as much distance from your last drink as you can for now.
I hope you get some ideas from my ramblings!
Take care xxx

rustygolf

Hey Lascaux - how you doin?

Stayingsassy

I think you need to be on guard for months. Feeling better a few weeks or a couple months in primes your addiction to strike.

"I feel better already, so maybe I didn't have a bad problem."

" There, I did two weeks no problem so I can just do it again whenever I feel like it. I will just drink and take breaks here and there. "

"Ugh that was rough. The wife/husband/boss/bills/daily grind is too much to deal with. I need to drink because of my stress."

you name it, I used them, until I became convinced of the ugliness of drinking and the fact that my happy hour was never coming back.

Your excuses at any point in your sobriety are lies. If it's an excuse to drink it is a lie.

waynetheking

Just stay busy and don't drink. Take action, massive amounts of action. Don't drink under any circumstance. Develop a plan and work it. Leave nothing to chance. Find a support group and make friend's. In other words, get busy.
Alcoholism is no joke, treat it as such.