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Loss of control

Old 03-03-2018, 06:48 AM
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Loss of control

Hi guys.

I joined here almost a year ago and I've relapsed hard..
I think it's just getting worse and worse all the time..

I literally drink a bottle or two of wine every day. I'm so scared I'm fully addicted..

I no longer get hangovers and my appetite is completely gone.
Sometimes my liver hurts.

Is a bottle of wine or more everyday really excessive?

I feel my mental health has gotten really bad because of this. I always wake up not remembering most of the previous day and having so many regrets. People probably think I'm such an idiot :-((

I was thinking of going to my doctor but I'm seriously so embarrassed about my addiction. My dad was an alcoholic so I'd hate for my family having to know I am becoming (if not already) one.

I tried to give it up a few days ago and I became highly bored and agitated.

Please has anyone got some tips for getting off to a good start?

Thanks for reading x
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Old 03-03-2018, 07:12 AM
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Restless, irritable and discontent.
That's the usual state for alcoholics when alcohol is removed and no program of recovery has been put in place.

When you look at the 12-steps of the AA program of recovery for example, you will see that only the first step even mentions alcohol. The other steps are all about growth and change, and learning new and better ways of dealing with life as it comes.

Have you considered the need for a recovery plan? I know I didn't for the first month of so. Then I conceded thank needed help and gave it a half-arsed attempt for some months until I really WAS miserable. Finally, when I got desperate enough, I worked a program of recovery thoroughly, and thats when things started to get better.

BB
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Old 03-03-2018, 07:20 AM
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Here is some good information about various recovery programs and lots of tips on what our members did to help them:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
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Old 03-03-2018, 07:34 AM
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Originally Posted by TheLuckyCat View Post
Is a bottle of wine or more everyday really excessive?
ya ask if a bottle of wine is excessive and provide us with this:
-I think it's just getting worse and worse all the time..
-I no longer get hangovers and my appetite is completely gone.
Sometimes my liver hurts.
-I'm so scared I'm fully addicted..
-I feel my mental health has gotten really bad because of this
-I always wake up not remembering most of the previous day and having so many regrets.
- I'm seriously so embarrassed about my addiction.


i think a good start would be getting out of denial.


-
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Old 03-03-2018, 07:35 AM
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Hi
I drank a bottle of wine a day (sometimes more). I found I was waking in the early hours with dread and awful anxiety, I was functioning at work and home but things were getting worse.
I realised I wasn't able to stop. I went a few more months with this realisation then just decided one day to go to my GP and confess all which I did. I was referred to a 1:1 alcohol counsellor and I also did a therapy course for anxiety. All of these things finally led to me quitting at the end of September last year.
Making that the decision to go to the GP was the best decision I have made in my entire life.
I didn't get bored though - I took up a previous hobby again with gusto, I had more interaction with my kids, I came on here a lot. If any boredom does creep in, that is just life, e.g. Do I really have to watch Peppa Pig for the 1,000th time?!
As for being agitated, I do a bit of exercise if I feel this, just a bit of running on the spot, my 8 year old enjoys that!! I'm pretty unfit so that usually does the trick!
It's all about making that first step. Go for it, you can do it!
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Old 03-03-2018, 07:38 AM
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Re tomsteve's point above, I probably was in some state of denial for a very long time too. I just wasn't accepting what I had to do...until I did. You can do the same.
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Old 03-03-2018, 07:53 AM
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It sounds to me like a serious and HONEST visit with your doctor is called for, like it finally was for me. I had gone from a bottle of wine or two, sometimes three, a day to....a handle of vodka every two days and maybe drinks somewhere out with "friends" on top of all that.

My mom is an alcoholic too and I never wanted to be one, that's for sure.

My situation became life and death- and I spent a number of years with the symptoms you describe as I "let them be normal."

Hope to see you here.
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Old 03-03-2018, 08:50 AM
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I understand the fear of talking to your doctor - but I finally sucked it up and did, right about the same time I decided to really admit to myself that I had a problem, and that I needed help to deal with it. Doctors are there to support you and your health is their priority - they can be instrumental in getting you the resources you need. I highly recommend talking to your medical professionals, whether it's your family doctor or a psychologist, or whatever. Best of luck and keep coming here, this site is amazing for support and resources.
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Old 03-03-2018, 11:03 AM
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Please has anyone got some tips for getting off to a good start?
I couldn't get sober on my own and went to AA. It's worked for 26 years.
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Old 03-03-2018, 02:49 PM
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Thank you so much everyone..

Yes it seems I can't stay sober on my own..when I look at it, these past few years have been miserable.

All those regrets and all the stuff I've said I wish had not happened.

I guess we only have control over the present time and can't change the past.

I'll continue to come here for support and to support others. Thanks again for such fast and inspiration replys <3
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Old 03-03-2018, 03:04 PM
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I know just how you feel, LuckyCat. I was the same way - and it took me a long time to admit I had no control. The only way to stay safe was to stop all together, and it was really wonderful to get free of it. I'm so glad you're back with friends who care. Hope you'll stay.
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Old 03-04-2018, 06:56 AM
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Hi Luckycat. I don't have any particular nuggets of wisdom for you but want to wish you luck in recovery. While your situation sounds unpleasant, it is not uncommon. Funny how guilt about drinking keeps us drinking. Terror about the damage we are doing to our livers keeps us drinking. Well, I was in the same boat: drinking straight vodka by the glass while googling fatty liver, kidney damage, hormone imbalances. Doesn't make too much sense now that I look back on those times. Thank God I can look "back"--for now, wouldn't want to tempt fate.
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Old 03-04-2018, 06:05 PM
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Welcome back LuckyCat

Have you considered making a recovery action plan?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

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