Sohard

(But is it good?!)

dwtbd

Not for the addicted part of you.

Stayingsassy

You've repeatedly returned to sober recovery after going back out there.

Is drinking that good?

Drinking is hell. Get a few months under your belt and you'll see. There is no circumstance on earth that could make me take one toxic sip.

I am gratefully done.

Accept the cravings. The cravings are part and parcel of early sobriety, learn to accept them and move on, or you will not be free.

You had what seems to be a craving free first week because you were relieved to be done with it, but conquering the demon is not an expectation of no cravings because that is impossible. It is having them and learning your process to deal with them.

Get a strategy.

ScottFromWI

It's better actually. I can honestly tell you that every single facet of my life is better now that alcohol is not part of it. My health ( physical and mental ), my job, my family life, my relationships with others, my financial state, even my social life is better now. It took some time to get here, but I'd take a bad day sober over any day of my drinking life in a heartbeat

fini

yes, sohard, it is good because being sober has allowed me choices and possibilities and actions and behaviours that i couldn' t have when drinking.

andyes, all the thoughts are exhausting, which is one reason so many plans and programs suggest action.

Sohard

I'm TRYING to get a strategy. That's why I've been reading everything about sobriety. That's why I'm here. I'm trying. That's why I posted this thread. That's why I'm seeing a therapist, and working out like an Olympian, and on SR ten hours a day, and going to bed at 7:30pm so when I awake at 12:30am the liquor stores are closed. I'm searching for the strategy!

Stayingsassy

I'm sorry if I made it sound like you aren't trying. I know you are. Your continued posts today sounded like you were wishing you could drink again so I think we were responding to that, I know with some of my earlier posts many people thought I would drink when I knew i wouldn't.

It is good for you to post here instead of drinking.

It's normal for you to have cravings.

Just keep on with one sober day after the next and all will be fine, it takes time.

Dee74

Hi so hard
I'm going to answer a few of these.

I know you know they're crazy but if my answers don't help you they may help someone else

well it won't work for a start.

Alcoholics have tried for millennia to control their drinking, which usually means they want to drink as much as they like and escape the negative consequences.

I was that type. Never found that magic path.
Doesn't exist.

Look at all drinking cost you. Re-read old threads if you need the reminder.

Any idea that there's a still place in your life for alcohol is absurd. It's crazy.
It's pure addiction talk.

see my response above. Still absurd. still crazy thinking

don't let the thoughts freak you out. I estimate that 99% of us have had those same thoughts...and many of the remaining 1% have forgotten they did

It's completely normal addictive thinking. Normal - but bat poop crazy

The amazing thing I learned was - I can have these thoughts and still do the right thing.

I don't have to follow through with them - I can reach out for help and I can get through the jibber jabber...and not drink.

I/We all have an immense power to say - No, I will NOT cooperate - and our Inner Addict is completely flummoxed by that.

It needs you to get what it wants.
Without you? Nuthin' Doin'

That was genuinely a revelation to me

They are exhausting but every time you refuse to enter a dialogue with them they get a little less strident.

This is not the way your recovery will always be - trust me it gets a lot better than this.

This initial phase is rough - but it's finite. You're on the right road

ps as far as strategy goes, a recovery action plan is the bees knees

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

D

Mac4711

That’s why I think you approach these thoughts like in meditation. Be the watcher of these thoughts, recognize that they are not you. They are AV or call them what you want - acknowledge them, but don’t engage them. If you feed them, they will grow in intensity. Your addicted mind is a problem solving machine and at the moment its only mission is to get you to drink again and obliterate you.

Stayingsassy

This part does freak me out. Never underestimate the cleverness of the addiction. It is as clever as you are. It is a voice inside you that comes from you, made from you, that must die. You are starving a piece of yourself. That's why it is so hard.

My work of sobriety is addicted voice recognition. It came to me the other day in the form of a new orleans trip. My work was not to entertain that but to squash it, and if it still was a triggering thought, then to let that thought slide in favor of thoughts that support my sobriety.

The other day, it came to me through sadness and weariness. My work was not to think about how a drink would take the feelings away it was to think of ways to heal the feelings. I did a workout and felt better afterwards.

There is plenty of work. The voice is weakening lately but when it is there I have to address it, I can't let it do "whatever." It has to be mentally squashed or physical work must be done to make it go away.

Sohard

No apology necessary. You're just trying to help and I got defensive. I actually apologize.

SoberCAH

Not only good, but great.

For 29+ years, for that matter.

I appreciate your honesty for clarifying that you really don't know what the problem is.

I think you're on the way to discovering its identity.

Please keep hanging around and contributing.

We value your input and want you to get and stay sober.

Sohard

Thanks so much for your support. I had a moment of clarity where I realized obviously if I need to take medication in order to drink, I should not be drinking. I hope this moment of clarity stays.

Sohard

Dee, I really appreciate you indulging my line of thought. It helps.

Lindajean68

Sohard - I can totally relate to your posts. I am around 16 months sober. For a long period of time, the mental gymnastics did subside A LOT. Lately, however, they're back. But this is as a result of me not doing what I know I have to do DAILY to stay sober. The daily work (at least for me) is necessary to calm my alcoholic mind.

Sohard

Thanks for your thoughts. I must admit, it scares me that the gymnastics subside and then come back. I thought I d be long free of them by 16 months but I guess maybe not. I'm so sorry you're dealing with them again. So get back on that daily work!!

At dinner with 13 family members. It's a command performance event bc many flew all the way from Denmark to US. So hard to see everyone merrily imbibing. I'm taking a breather outside to get my head on straight.

WaterOx

Wow I feel like I'm on the exact same page you are. I'm on the end of yet another "day 4" having gone up and down the moderation roller coaster for a year now. It's getting to the point where you start to subtly recognize the pattern and that maybe- just maybe- you don't have as much input in your thoughts as you thought you did...there's "something" else at play here.

I really like the idea of a plan. Does anyone have a link where this is discussed more in depth? It would be cool to have some guidelines.

Stayingsassy

Check out Dee's post above and follow the links, there's some helpful stuff there.

cruiser1911

Im totally a newby here so anything I say take it as you want I could not make it past the liquor store without stopping, tried for years and I wanted to be sober for a few weeks I would do great in the morning not going to drink today, by evening Im tired, my back hurts, and work has all around kicked my butt and I stop at the store so I asked my doc for antabuse. when I originally started this in november I was going to dry out for a month and then drink at our new years party but you have to plan a week ahead when you are going to give in. for me Im at 45 days and now Im not going to drink on new years. so for me so far having a crutch has helped.

Stayingsassy

Good for you for that decision, I consider that an antabuse success story.