Notices

Friend downplaying my sobriety

Old 03-23-2017, 11:04 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
soberlvn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: East Coast
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth View Post
Hash House Harriers? The drinking club with the running problem? lol

So the activity is running until it is drinking. You're still not participating and it makes people uncomfortable. People will always single out the one who is different.
No. I'm not a hasher. I'm runner with a big healthy running problem and alcohol was getting in the way.
soberlvn is offline  
Old 03-23-2017, 11:09 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 135
In quitting, I've had TONS of awkward moments with people who still imbibe.
Whether they drink a lot or not. Heck I've even been asked "why" by people who don't drink!

See #3. 7 Things You Don't Realize About Addiction (Until You Quit)

I still get/have those awkward moments but, at the same time, I'm used to it/don't care.
In early sobriety I made a big deal out of a lot of things that I don't anymore.

CJ
cejay is offline  
Old 03-23-2017, 11:16 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by soberlvn View Post
I have a group of friends who I feel very comfortable around when theyre drinking. I have no problems sitting around drinking my club soda while they drink. However, I have some friends who don't know that I have stopped drinking and have offered me a beer/drink. But, after I politely decline and tell them why, then another friend of my chimes in and announces that being sober is the new drug. This has happened more than once. In my head Im like WTF? Have any of you experienced this type of behavior? It feels like hes offended by my sobriety. Thanks for listening.
I cant say I experienced the behavior after I got sober- I removed wet places and wet faces from my life, which the wet faces wasn't hard- once they learned I was serious about getting sober they stopped contacting me.
its hard sayin why someone would say that, but I don't think being offended by your sobriety is a reason. more than likely it could have come from someone who knows they have a drinkin problem and could be in denial about it or knows theyre gonna lose a drinking buddy. misery loves company and when that company leaves theres no one to share it with.

if being sober is the new drug, ill gladly be addicted to it- its the 1st drug ive had that doesn't destroy lives and have me pass in the next day with remorse,guilt, and/or fear over the night before.

if it happens again, something you could do is tell a little of why- maybe say some of the negative outward consequences and also what was going on internally.
tomsteve is offline  
Old 03-23-2017, 11:33 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
FBL
non-drinker
 
FBL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,828
If "sober is the new drug", then I guess I'm hooked!
FBL is offline  
Old 03-23-2017, 11:38 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Toronto
Posts: 35
I revealed my alcohol addiction to a new friend whom I had already suspected had a problem by the way she absolutely glorified her drinking stories. We were all set to go out for dinner but it never came to pass. So my suspicions were confirmed. Never heard from her again.
Harryho is offline  
Old 03-23-2017, 01:10 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberCAH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Originally Posted by August252015 View Post
While I don't watch them except on the rarest of occasions anymore, I have heard it on shows like E! News that "rehab is chic" and other asinine stuff....while I just laugh and shake my head, it is pretty stupid if our culture makes light or jabs at people getting help - or lauds it as cool or something, not to be taken seriously but as some weird celeb status.

Keep going on your sober trek, friend.
Rehab is chic.

Isn't that charming?

It was a life and death matter to me.

Quite funny, but I hope no one takes them seriously.
SoberCAH is offline  
Old 03-23-2017, 01:42 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 50
I would expect my friends and family to give me a bit of ****, but if I told them I was serious and I needed to do this to better myself and they kept going they sure wouldn't see me much. Your friend's comment was probably some drunken ramble that he had heard elsewhere he felt the need to repeat because he thinks he is funny. I wouldn't think twice about it.
WizingUp is offline  
Old 03-24-2017, 07:29 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
soberlvn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: East Coast
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by SoberCAH View Post
Rehab is chic.

Isn't that charming?

It was a life and death matter to me.

Quite funny, but I hope no one takes them seriously.
Same here! There is no way I'm taking this guys seriously.
soberlvn is offline  
Old 03-24-2017, 01:10 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
 
Bunny211's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Opinions are like a-----les. Who cares. Focus on you. Not what others think of you.
Bunny211 is offline  
Old 03-24-2017, 02:00 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
I definitely have come across that with people who never saw the full extent of my problem. I could be such a terror... My close friends were all like thank God finally!! I still hanng out with people who drink. I know I can't, but it does make me nostalgic sometimes. I had some good times on the sauce too. Just way more bad ones.

I'm sure your friend said that because some people are just awkward around non drinkers. The more I've reflected, over the years so many friendships and connections were people I partied with. The non drinkers hung out with non drinkers, and we did our thing separately. Some people don't know how to deal with that transition..
VigilanceNow is offline  
Old 03-24-2017, 03:26 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
 
Berrybean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by FormerBeerLover View Post
If "sober is the new drug", then I guess I'm hooked!
Me too 😊
Berrybean is offline  
Old 03-24-2017, 05:39 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,945
If my friends aren't supportive there cut out of my life. Have they ever prayed for me have they ever cried for me has hundreds in AA my friends growing up no my friends in AA yes and I love them and they love me.
dsmaxis10 is offline  
Old 03-24-2017, 05:42 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Semi-Professional Philosopher
 
steve-in-kville's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Rural PA
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by SoberCAH View Post

It was a life and death matter to me.


Not to mention my marriage, my family, may job....
steve-in-kville is offline  
Old 03-24-2017, 07:13 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 78
I totally hear ya! I like what August said "I'm ruthless about who gets a seat at my table." Yes! Your sobriety is your baby, protect it! I have been avoiding a lot of friends who don't support my sobriety. I know it usually makes people uncomfortable because of something going on within themselves, but I dont have to let it bring me down. Hang in there!
icoi87 is offline  
Old 03-24-2017, 08:29 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
Member
 
leasha24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington State
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by soberlvn View Post
I'm runner with a big healthy running problem and alcohol was getting in the way.
Me too!!!
Running keeps me sober... and sobriety has brought my running to a whole new level! I ran so many races hungover/still drunk/ taking shots right before I even started the race.... I don't know how I managed.....
leasha24 is offline  
Old 03-24-2017, 09:49 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by leasha24 View Post
Me too!!!
Running keeps me sober... and sobriety has brought my running to a whole new level! I ran so many races hungover/still drunk/ taking shots right before I even started the race.... I don't know how I managed.....
Running has also been central to my recovery over many years.

While externally I know it does no good to be too evangelical about sobriety, I am privately quite intolerant of the comment described in the OP about sobriety being the new drug. Personally I try to avoid making flip comments about issues which for some people may be sensitive, or make light of things which while are positive choice for all is tough for some.

It struck me that many people choose not to exercise, in the same way that I choose not to drink. I wouldn't say that inactivity is the new drug, or judge people who don't exercise, there may be a whole bunch of reasons behind it.

Conscious I should perhaps lighten up on this, at heart though I think I am a bit of a militant teetotaller.
NessunDorma is offline  
Old 03-24-2017, 11:33 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Member
 
grayghost1965's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 425
Actually I'm wondering if that comment wasn't made out of discomfort. I'm really trying to see the good in everyone because it gets very difficult to do so at work at times.

I wasn't there of course, and don't know the person, but I didn't feel any malicious intent.

My co-workers and I have had a tradition of "beer and eggs" every Friday morning during payday week. We would go to this local tavern that opens at 0600 to cater to hospital and railroad folk, and frankly, eggs were just mentioned and seldom consumed.

Anyhow, I was asked if I was going this morning, and I said no because I was no longer drinking. Of course that shocked several, but no one had anything ignorant to say, and were nothing but supportive.

Give your friend the benefit of the doubt, unless you feel he's "that guy"
grayghost1965 is offline  
Old 03-25-2017, 04:29 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
Member
 
Bebrave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 152
In some ways what he said was true! Being sober makes me feel really good! Better than drinking. I'll take the sober high any time.
Bebrave is offline  
Old 03-25-2017, 12:27 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
Um Dia de Cada Vez
 
BlissWithin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Brasil
Posts: 613
Originally Posted by soberlvn View Post
being sober is the new drug.
This looks "edgy" and something I would say If I were still drinking, heck I may even say it now If I ever bump into old drinking friends...

As others suggested, being sober often requires new places, people and things.

Take care!
BlissWithin is offline  
Old 03-25-2017, 04:32 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I'm going to use "sober is the new drug" from now on. Then I can be annoying to drinkers ha

I'm pretty sure the mere fact that I do have a lot of fun as a non-drinker is annoying to some. I've had comments like, "Well, aren't you just so cool." Why yes, yes I am. Thanks.

Annoying comments from drinkers are a dime a dozen. Let them roll off like water on a duck's back. Be that duck.
soberlicious is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:27 PM.