least

Two days isn't long enough to know what sobriety feels like. Give yourself a few months sober before you decide how you feel about it. I gave up drinking over seven years ago and it's the best thing I ever did for myself.

BrendaChenowyth

But she's saying she doesn't understand WHY that is. I get it.

Gottalife

I don't know why I am an alcoholic. It's not important. That knowledge won't make any difference to whether I recover or not.

Done4today

Welcome DG,

I felt and drank as you do when I was your age. Fast forward 20 plus years of living that battle, losing friends, loved ones, self respect, and money. I wish I had your insight and humility to ask for help. You may or may not be an alcoholic but you have paid your dues to join the club that no wanted to join. You're ahead of the curve by realizing your drinking isn't normal. I didn't want to admit my drinking needed to stop. Here are a couple of signs that you might not have noticed. The first is I bet you didn't see any normal drinkers at the AA meeting that was there to stop drinking. Second normal drinkers don't even think about the amount of booze they drink.

I would suggest getting the AA book and read the first 104 pages with an open mind looking for similarities in your drinking behavior. I also would suggest talking to a behavioral health therapist that specializes in addiction. Good luck DG and please keep coming back. Everyone here wants to help you so you can have a happy joyous and free life.

Gottalife

I remember this suggestion was made to me. They said it takes a long time to get into the position you are now in, and it might take a while for it to come right. What we suggest is you give AA a try for 90 days. Do a meeting everyday, and see how you feel at the end of that time. If you decide AA is not for you, we will happily refund your misery at the door. Couldn't be fairer than that.

I took the 90 meetings idea as a metaphor for total immersion in AA. I gave it everything. Meetings, sponsor, steps, helping others, never expecting to even reach 90 days. My life changed. I never did ask for my misery back, and I've been sober ever since.

August252015

^^^Me, too.

In addition to the comments above about 2 days (what I hope now is day 3!) being great but merely the start to getting sober and, more importantly, recovering, I would add the AA adage "time takes time." Many alcoholics WANT IT NOW (whatever IT is) and that includes recovery- "the other side" - feeling healthy- etc. It doesn't happen that way.

I can promise you- absolutely, 100% etc- that life is immeasurably better sober in every single way. You don't believe that now- that's common. I was on the brink of death when I quit 369 days ago, and what I knew was this: I didn't know what to expect getting sober, but I knew I wanted it much more than I wanted what I had if I kept on drinking, which was certain death.

AA is my lifeline- the suggestion of 90 in 90 (even 30 in 30) is made for a reason - habit forming, listening at the beginning, starting to "get" what it is about....all of it.

You can choose to get and stay sober. Every alcoholic can. I hope you do and that we see you around.

Last comment- if you haven't, check out the Class of Feb 2017 group under Newcomers Daily Support Threads. It has folks who have quit (or even want to) this month so you will likely find common thoughts, questions and certainly support.

NYCDoglvr

If I could have a few drinks I wouldn't be an alcoholic Many years ago I got some bad sushi and got violently ill. Didn't have sushi for at least ten years after that, but I didn't have to go to a 12 Step Sushi program to do it!!

Michael66

I hope you don't give in drunk girl. Healing takes time, and you have to be prepared for it to take weeks or even months. But it is so so much better than the alternative.

You can be happy and fulfilled without alcohol. Just don't expect that to happen in a matter of days as, for most of us, it doesn't.