Cow

Hi Dumplings, glad you all hanging in there, and good on you Little Kittycat.

You know Walk, I does think people who say "think positive!" and 'it always dark before dawn!" is well meaning and just not understand real mental illness versus situational depressions. ...Or, they just want you to STFU already about you sufferings, cuz it get super exhausting to listen to. God know I total exhausted by my own torment.

I think is right I should be segregated. It happening anyway. My world becoming pretty much a ghost town. Friends has scatter likes rats from my sinking ship. I intensely lonely, but nor can I relate to people going about they daily lives, and they no can relate to me. What we gonna do? Maybe has absurd conversatings like: "Oh hello, I just crying again today and is consume with thought of killing myself." "Oh, well, feel better! Hey you should come by and see my new flooring tiles."

It use to psss me off, but now I think, Jesus God, Cow, let them enjoy they flooring tiles without you pooping on them. Yes, is too bad for you and you sad life and damage brain, but stop try to make people understand you torment, cuz they never gonna, nor does they wanna, nor should they. They should enjoy whatever bits they can from life, just like is my dream to one day enjoy some little bits of life. I mean, if I had starving friend in concentration camp who call me every week to tell me of his increasing suffering and feelings of doom, I probably say, "Oh, well, feel better!" And I maybe not pick up next time.

Look at me, blathering on like Stephen bloody Fry. Anyways, as much as I want to just walk into ocean with my head full of squirrels today and never come out. I endured.

Gilmer

I'm glad you're still here. Your sharing enriches people. We learn from you.

I know I will think twice before trying to snap people out of profound sadness with cheer. You really captured it with "flooring tiles."

Your tolerance and effective communication make the universe a better place.

Instead of being bitter toward those who dismiss your anguish, you have developed mercy. That's some accomplishment.

That is a gift of genuine and lasting value.

I believe it really counts for something.

trachemys

I'm glad you endured. Keep enduring. I repeat my offer to give you my phone number. You can tell me about your squirrels and I can tell you about my tinnitus.

SoberLeigh

Love to you, dear Cow.

Gilmer

Sorry if I just "sang songs to a heavy heart."

SoberLeigh

I love this post, Gilmer.

SoberLeigh

This one!!!!!

Gilmer

Thanks, Leigh.

walkbeformakrun

What a great perspective about taking a call from death camp. Making me laughing about a death camp exeraince. Tough to do. Thanks Cow.

And now a word from our sponsor.....

Remember, we are all here because we learned the hard way, or are learning, that no matter where you are, even death camp, alcohol can make it worse.

silentrun

I would always pick up phone for you Cow. I'm sure I'm not alone in that. It's just hard to understand how to help so I throw out things that have helped me. I've emptied my bag o tricks on you these last couple of years already so it's down to just listening if you want to talk. That and maybe I could sip decaf coffee with you and we could check out nice looking men at the doctors office together.

I know you went up against a meth addiction and survived that. I believe in you Cow.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Cow,
I love your vernacular.
It mooves me.

silentrun

It behooves me!!!!

Hi Cow.

Cow

Hi Chuckleheads. Thanks for you believe in me ...although I never really understand what that mean. Like, some people believes in God, and some believe in alien abduction, and some believes in the sasquatch. I not believe in any of those things, but they chances of existence probable more than my chances of sustained sobriety, mental health, and some sort of pleasant(ish) life.

Some peoples believe 'everything happen for reason.' (Good luck to figure that one out, genocide victims and AIDS babies!) Lot of people believe in fate, which, and I pretty sure Stephen Hawking agree with me, only work in reverse. I believe random chance dictate way life and universe unfolding way more than reasons and fate. So far, random chance not deal me too many good hand, but, although it maybe feel as such, it not deal me the worst.

In conclusion... luck, you is a fickle bitch, can you just maybe be a lady, tonight.

trachemys

Cow, entropy increases.

It's always going downhill. Grab a trash can lid and we'll ride together.

silentrun

Cow, when I say I believe in you it means I think you will figure this out and come through it. (or die trying ) You have what it takes.

I'm secular as well.

trachemys

Have you talked to your doctor?

Gilmer

You make it sound like she needs to take Geritol!

silentrun

Hi Cow

Cow

Jesus God, SRun. I really wish you would stop with you constant over-sharing. Perhaps you tell us something about you self today... ... ... we is waiting...

... ... still waiting. I see you too Glimmer, how is you going?

Gilmer

I feel utterly useless today (gritting my teeth--NOT going for the pun)!

On my way to bed to start over in the morning!

Thanks for asking!