Hi Dumplings, glad you all hanging in there, and good on you Little Kittycat.
You know Walk, I does think people who say "think positive!" and 'it always dark before dawn!" is well meaning and just not understand real mental illness versus situational depressions. ...Or, they just want you to STFU already about you sufferings, cuz it get super exhausting to listen to. God know I total exhausted by my own torment.
I think is right I should be segregated. It happening anyway. My world becoming pretty much a ghost town. Friends has scatter likes rats from my sinking ship. I intensely lonely, but nor can I relate to people going about they daily lives, and they no can relate to me. What we gonna do? Maybe has absurd conversatings like: "Oh hello, I just crying again today and is consume with thought of killing myself." "Oh, well, feel better! Hey you should come by and see my new flooring tiles."
It use to psss me off, but now I think, Jesus God, Cow, let them enjoy they flooring tiles without you pooping on them. Yes, is too bad for you and you sad life and damage brain, but stop try to make people understand you torment, cuz they never gonna, nor does they wanna, nor should they. They should enjoy whatever bits they can from life, just like is my dream to one day enjoy some little bits of life. I mean, if I had starving friend in concentration camp who call me every week to tell me of his increasing suffering and feelings of doom, I probably say, "Oh, well, feel better!" And I maybe not pick up next time.
Look at me, blathering on like Stephen bloody Fry. Anyways, as much as I want to just walk into ocean with my head full of squirrels today and never come out. I endured.