What's Moo?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
(((Fini))). Thanks! It went by day by day. Ups and downs. I found Peace with it. I know this patch will pass. It's so bizarre how I get stuck in "baby time" now and then. It's like I can't remember the Wheel dies turn, these feelings aren't forever and that Now does pass.
Sounds pretty silly, I know. But think you guys know what I'm saying.
Love from Lenina
Sounds pretty silly, I know. But think you guys know what I'm saying.
Love from Lenina
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
My slump was triggered by something that is a mere nuisance. Too many guests for Thanksgiving, and I felt the obligation to stay all four days to welcome ones that arrived later.
I was a regular Mary Tyler Moore till Friday noon--then my mood crashed.
Because I felt the obligation to soldier on till Saturday night, I really turned super-bitchy, both inside and out. So I kind of defeated the purpose of staying--I don't think people quite felt "welcome!"
Two days later I was still bristling at the slightest stress.
Not an existential crisis; odd that it took so long to snap out of it!
To be fair, though, my last guest left yesterday, so I haven't been able to fully relax.
I was a regular Mary Tyler Moore till Friday noon--then my mood crashed.
Because I felt the obligation to soldier on till Saturday night, I really turned super-bitchy, both inside and out. So I kind of defeated the purpose of staying--I don't think people quite felt "welcome!"
Two days later I was still bristling at the slightest stress.
Not an existential crisis; odd that it took so long to snap out of it!
To be fair, though, my last guest left yesterday, so I haven't been able to fully relax.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Lenina,
Count your Blessings!
Congrats on an awesome 9 years of recovery!
May it stream out into all of your life.
Prayers that our God will heal us all spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally.
Do it just one step at a time.
Count your Blessings!
Congrats on an awesome 9 years of recovery!
May it stream out into all of your life.
Prayers that our God will heal us all spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally.
Do it just one step at a time.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
That why I not has any guest room, Glimmer!
Well, I have big setback in that I have very bad reaction to meal replacements doctor put me on for nutrition and calorie. So now back to what in heck is I gonna eat. Poor tummy feel like it eating itself. It not gonna die or anything, cuz I get pretty rolly polly toward end of my using. But I already lose 20 pound and not wish to lose much more.
Is amazing how much more sensitive body and brain is since I quit. I was eat pizza, steak, pasta or anything I want with my wine. Now body say no to digest almost everything and brain freak out over piece of chicken! WTF?!
Anyway, I been meaning to tell you guys, I has also go off my benzo about week ago. Maybe it crazy to do booze and stimulant and benzo all at same time, but I suffering so much as is, I sure as hell not going through other protracted withdrawal after this one. I know benzo contribute to my depression and I felt is really getting life or death for me to lift depression, even just little bit, I do anything.
So yeah, is quite the party over here ... just without the food or drink. As bad as I feeling, decision is made. This is happening. I has a sense of strength that I committed to endure whatever may be.
On brighter note, I look so feeble at the Trader Joe today, the kids gave me bouquet of sunflower. Got some oatmeal and eggs.
Nice to see everybody. Look like lot of us is discombobulated. But we in it together, yes?
Well, I have big setback in that I have very bad reaction to meal replacements doctor put me on for nutrition and calorie. So now back to what in heck is I gonna eat. Poor tummy feel like it eating itself. It not gonna die or anything, cuz I get pretty rolly polly toward end of my using. But I already lose 20 pound and not wish to lose much more.
Is amazing how much more sensitive body and brain is since I quit. I was eat pizza, steak, pasta or anything I want with my wine. Now body say no to digest almost everything and brain freak out over piece of chicken! WTF?!
Anyway, I been meaning to tell you guys, I has also go off my benzo about week ago. Maybe it crazy to do booze and stimulant and benzo all at same time, but I suffering so much as is, I sure as hell not going through other protracted withdrawal after this one. I know benzo contribute to my depression and I felt is really getting life or death for me to lift depression, even just little bit, I do anything.
So yeah, is quite the party over here ... just without the food or drink. As bad as I feeling, decision is made. This is happening. I has a sense of strength that I committed to endure whatever may be.
On brighter note, I look so feeble at the Trader Joe today, the kids gave me bouquet of sunflower. Got some oatmeal and eggs.
Nice to see everybody. Look like lot of us is discombobulated. But we in it together, yes?
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
It's so nice to see so much of the ole gang here. Congrats on 9 years CAL! Hi Puffy, glad you are well health wise at least 
The rest will sort itself out right? I didn't realize how bad the benzo thing was until I looked it up because of Sleepie going through it. It almost made alcohol recovery sound like a skip in the park. I can't know how bad it is Cow but I feel for you.
I'm still not smoking. 15 days this time after making it 41 this summer. That Allan Carr method works for me but it wears off after about a month. I'm going to keep reading it weekly for the next year or so. That should take care of it. I found out my youngest brother had the same thing happen to him with the alcohol I did. He called me a couple of days ago. I told him about this place and this thread. Hi Kim's brother if you read this. His last drink and my last smoke are the same day. No pressure!!!!! This last 2 weeks has actually gone pretty fast. The earth keeps revolving with me clean or not. For now it's with me off the smokes.
The rest will sort itself out right? I didn't realize how bad the benzo thing was until I looked it up because of Sleepie going through it. It almost made alcohol recovery sound like a skip in the park. I can't know how bad it is Cow but I feel for you. I'm still not smoking. 15 days this time after making it 41 this summer. That Allan Carr method works for me but it wears off after about a month. I'm going to keep reading it weekly for the next year or so. That should take care of it. I found out my youngest brother had the same thing happen to him with the alcohol I did. He called me a couple of days ago. I told him about this place and this thread. Hi Kim's brother if you read this. His last drink and my last smoke are the same day. No pressure!!!!! This last 2 weeks has actually gone pretty fast. The earth keeps revolving with me clean or not. For now it's with me off the smokes.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Holy Cow!
Lots on your plate right now, excepting food.
Good you are off Benzos.
I am clean and sober, alcohol 3 years and drugs over 25. Quit smoking in 85 after a 4 pk a day habit.
You can do this Cow. I bet you to be strong as those lil hummers. Just need to slow down and let the others do their thing.
Lots on your plate right now, excepting food.
Good you are off Benzos.
I am clean and sober, alcohol 3 years and drugs over 25. Quit smoking in 85 after a 4 pk a day habit.
You can do this Cow. I bet you to be strong as those lil hummers. Just need to slow down and let the others do their thing.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Thanks for all you encouragements.
Little Dove, I not sure how it going with benzo withdrawal specifically cuz I still got serious PAWS and also withdrawing from stimulant. And plus also, my various medical condition. But, thing that I think are benzo specific is, I not really sleeping, I feel like all the time I gonna have heart attack, heart is racing and pounding, chest pain, more seizure activity, internal combustion sweats, anxiety, blur vision, agitations, tingling and numbness on one side of body, super sensitivity/reactivity to anything I ingest, memory problem, muscle clenching, especial the jaw, and suicidal ideation. But other than that, it total smooth sailing.
SRun, you keepa go!
Little Dove, I not sure how it going with benzo withdrawal specifically cuz I still got serious PAWS and also withdrawing from stimulant. And plus also, my various medical condition. But, thing that I think are benzo specific is, I not really sleeping, I feel like all the time I gonna have heart attack, heart is racing and pounding, chest pain, more seizure activity, internal combustion sweats, anxiety, blur vision, agitations, tingling and numbness on one side of body, super sensitivity/reactivity to anything I ingest, memory problem, muscle clenching, especial the jaw, and suicidal ideation. But other than that, it total smooth sailing.
SRun, you keepa go!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Cow, can you ask your doctors about some atenolol? It's a beta blocker and used for detox many times. It's slows the heart rate and lowers the blood pressure. I've been on it for years due to mitrial valve prolapse. A tiny dose totally keeps the panic attacks away.
I worry so much for you, I hope you have some company during this time.
Hour by hour, day by day, forward we go! As CarolD would say. It helped me a lot.
Love from Lenina
I worry so much for you, I hope you have some company during this time.
Hour by hour, day by day, forward we go! As CarolD would say. It helped me a lot.
Love from Lenina
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Hi Sweet Lenina, would be nice to has some nurturing souls about, but I afraid I on my own. Is kind of my story. Always had to take care of my self. Not sure why, but I used to it. Please no worry for me. I tough old crone.
Cannot take beta blockers cuz already I have very low BP. I try propranolol once and I was pass out all the time and end up in hospital. Also, I has not even discuss what I doing with doctors, cuz, honestly, they not ever been lot of help in my addiction department. In fact, almost everything they do make me worse.
I okay to handle panic, I use to have panic attack every time I had seizure, so I got some tricks up my sleeves to nurse self through that.
Question for Sleepies, if I has to take chipper of benzo to stop seizure, is that put me back to square one?
Cannot take beta blockers cuz already I have very low BP. I try propranolol once and I was pass out all the time and end up in hospital. Also, I has not even discuss what I doing with doctors, cuz, honestly, they not ever been lot of help in my addiction department. In fact, almost everything they do make me worse.
I okay to handle panic, I use to have panic attack every time I had seizure, so I got some tricks up my sleeves to nurse self through that.
Question for Sleepies, if I has to take chipper of benzo to stop seizure, is that put me back to square one?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Whoops, just read what you said to Lenina about doctors.
I wonder can your healer lady come for a visit...
Oh about the benzo. Well, I had tapered off. So in essence I was taking chippers until I quit.
I never did a cold turkey thing... so I don't know
I did have a benzo specific dr though. A bit of a loon but the only game in town.
I was wondering if there were any specialists in the area of meth and affects that would be better off to help you... Though you are no dummy, I am sure you have looked into it.
I often wished there were doctors who treated former drinkers... like a regular GP but knew how to handle it, many of us are anxious etc.
I wonder can your healer lady come for a visit...
Oh about the benzo. Well, I had tapered off. So in essence I was taking chippers until I quit.
I never did a cold turkey thing... so I don't know
I did have a benzo specific dr though. A bit of a loon but the only game in town.I was wondering if there were any specialists in the area of meth and affects that would be better off to help you... Though you are no dummy, I am sure you have looked into it.
I often wished there were doctors who treated former drinkers... like a regular GP but knew how to handle it, many of us are anxious etc.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Originally Posted by sleepie 
You are literally the only person who has ever had any term of affection for me. It makes my heart smile every time.
ah, well ...you are the Little Dove. I very glad it make you heart smile. I did see healer lady today, but could not feel her touch. My skin so prickly and numb it unable to receive what she doing. Waaaahhhhh!!!! Cuz usual it feel very good and calming, and I able to check into the ether world for that hour. But no.
Well I did take a chipper, cuz is little bit too much for me tonight. At least now my heart not feel like it gonna explode. I lay down now for night. I stay in bed 7-8 hour even if not sleeping, like a forced rest period.
~Sweet Dreams, Dumplings
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by Lenina
Cow, can you ask your doctors about some atenolol? It's a beta blocker and used for detox many times. It's slows the heart rate and lowers the blood pressure. I've been on it for years due to mitrial valve prolapse. A tiny dose totally keeps the panic attacks away.
I worry so much for you, I hope you have some company during this time.
Hour by hour, day by day, forward we go! As CarolD would say. It helped me a lot.
Love from Lenina
I worry so much for you, I hope you have some company during this time.
Hour by hour, day by day, forward we go! As CarolD would say. It helped me a lot.
Love from Lenina
I'm on atenolol also for tacychardia. During withdrawal when your heart speeds up dangerously, it will slow it down some. Lenina is right. Do check with your doctor. I hope you are maybe through the worst right now. Anyone there with you?
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