Childhood Trauma's
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Childhood Trauma's
I don't blame things that happened to me as a child and adolescent on my alcoholism, but it seems that there does seem to be a pattern of alcoholics and abusers of anything (drugs, food, weight loss, body issues, working out) having trauma in their early childhood or adolescent years.
Yet, there are not websites for "people who have no issues (alcoholism, drugs......)" that could touch on what those non obsessive compulsive people had going on in their childhood, leaving us to guess that lack of trauma in childhood might lead to more stable lives as adults (but who knows).......
So....this post is to see if you had trauma in childhood and what it was, and do you see that trauma or abuse as being a cause or contributor to your alcoholism?
I was sexually abused by a live in nanny (female) from the age of 7-14, with my mothers awareness and knowledge, and probably my dad's as well. It might have been a generational thing where in the 60's and 70's this was just common, or it was not something that was of concern to parents or society, or a blind eye was simply turned to the actions happening to children.
I was not physically abused by my parents but was groomed by my dad to work for him and his company when I would 'come of age' and that I could trust no one else and no companies for employment when that day came. He was a 'do as I say not as I do' role model. I was not encouraged to make good grades and the only thing that was important to him was to not embarrass him by saying the wrong things, dressing inappropriately, and that physical appearance and faking a positive frame of mine (always being optimistic and chipper) was of utmost importance. In essence I was raised to rely on him 100% in every way and groomed to trust no one, and that was just the way it was.
To touch briefly on our childhood, as children we don't know what we don't know, and we only know what we know, and what our environment tells us, and in most cases (IMO) our home and primary caregivers (including nanny's or others who took on the role of mothering or fathering us) are responsible for how we are wired.
As we become adults we either know no better, or at some point we reach a crossroads and realize that things happened that were "not normal" and we either then work on resolving those issues, or we maintain our raised beliefs of what we learned.
Having done a lot of therapy and reading and work on myself, it is my opinion that trauma and abuse greatly directs how we will emerge as adults, but that we have the control to change and correct the wrongs that were done to us as children. Again, the people who did us wrong may not have realized they were doing anything wrong, but this does not change how we were/are affected, nor does it mean we can't change our lives for the better.
It took a long time for me to finally "forgive" my abuser. She was a 14 or 15 year old "GIRL" removed from her family in Mexico to come work and live for our family, to become my dad's replacement wife in every respect. In her defense, she very well might have been abused as a child, since before becoming an adult her parents allowed her to be removed from her home to make money to send back to the family. This may have been normal in her society, but it is not normal for a child or adolescent to have this happen to them. So, if her parents thought this was a good idea for her, I would imagine she had little protection as a young girl in her societal surroundings. As to why sexually abusing me was a good idea for her, well, I have several ideas that give her the benefit of doubt, and I will just leave it at that.
But my mom does not get a pass, since I distinctly recall twice during those years telling her what was happening, in my own childlike way, and was met with a lost glaze and non response. When the abuse did not stop, I assumed it was 'okay' since mom knew about it. In reality, my mom did not want to risk (imo) losing her maid, her child care person, and her replacement wife which allowed her to go on and do whatever she pleased with no responsibilities at home to take care of.
As an adult, I did bring this up with my mom, after my dad passed, and was simply told that I should get therapy for my issues. She would not acknowledge that she had knowledge or remembered me telling her as a child that this was happening to me, yet she would not deny it either. I gave her multiple opportunities and she took the 'non responsible' path of neither acknowledgment nor denying what I went through.
My older sister would confirm that she knew it was going on, and that when it ended with me (I stopped it at 14), she took up the same thing with my younger brother who turned 7 when I turned 14 - kind of ironic).
So, those were the major "things" I needed help to get over. I was not aware of the nanny abuse till I was in my early forties, and life had finally quieted down for me, and one day having the same memories of those years, my brain stopped me and allowed me to question what happened, when it happened, and I realized how old I was, then picked up a book out of the clear and blue called "The Drama of the Gifted Child" which said that if a child experienced trauma or abuse of ANY kind, not just sexual abuse, but ANY trauma or abuse, that unless they seeked help and worked through those times and issues, that they would forever be stuck and could not grow past their stuck place in life.
That of course is debatable, but I personally believed it, especially since I would later accept and acknowledge all of my obsessions and compulsions including my binge drinking. Maybe I needed to believe this in order to make sense of my childhood. Maybe I just turned out how I turned out. Maybe I was born to be an alcoholic. BUT, maybe my childhood path helped steer me into the path of my crazy and dangerous compulsions and abuses. Regardless of my guesses, several very good shrinks were of equal opinions that yes, sexual and emotion abuse as a child help shape us and affect how we are as adults. Some people are affected less, some more, some in between.
Of course, the other possibility is that I would have ended up on my path and who I am today if I had not had any abuse of any kind, had loving and kind parents who were like "The Leave it to Beaver" family. But there seems to be too much research now that ties childhood abuse and trauma into excessive behaviors that we take on as adults.
Again, maybe not. But this is my post, and I am wondering how many other alcoholics in this forum had traumatic events in their childhood, or, did you just end up drinking to excess in spite of a rather normal trauma abuse free childhood?
Of course, trauma and abuse are relative to each of us, so that throws a little wrench into things, but I think you get my point.
Thank you.
Yet, there are not websites for "people who have no issues (alcoholism, drugs......)" that could touch on what those non obsessive compulsive people had going on in their childhood, leaving us to guess that lack of trauma in childhood might lead to more stable lives as adults (but who knows).......
So....this post is to see if you had trauma in childhood and what it was, and do you see that trauma or abuse as being a cause or contributor to your alcoholism?
I was sexually abused by a live in nanny (female) from the age of 7-14, with my mothers awareness and knowledge, and probably my dad's as well. It might have been a generational thing where in the 60's and 70's this was just common, or it was not something that was of concern to parents or society, or a blind eye was simply turned to the actions happening to children.
I was not physically abused by my parents but was groomed by my dad to work for him and his company when I would 'come of age' and that I could trust no one else and no companies for employment when that day came. He was a 'do as I say not as I do' role model. I was not encouraged to make good grades and the only thing that was important to him was to not embarrass him by saying the wrong things, dressing inappropriately, and that physical appearance and faking a positive frame of mine (always being optimistic and chipper) was of utmost importance. In essence I was raised to rely on him 100% in every way and groomed to trust no one, and that was just the way it was.
To touch briefly on our childhood, as children we don't know what we don't know, and we only know what we know, and what our environment tells us, and in most cases (IMO) our home and primary caregivers (including nanny's or others who took on the role of mothering or fathering us) are responsible for how we are wired.
As we become adults we either know no better, or at some point we reach a crossroads and realize that things happened that were "not normal" and we either then work on resolving those issues, or we maintain our raised beliefs of what we learned.
Having done a lot of therapy and reading and work on myself, it is my opinion that trauma and abuse greatly directs how we will emerge as adults, but that we have the control to change and correct the wrongs that were done to us as children. Again, the people who did us wrong may not have realized they were doing anything wrong, but this does not change how we were/are affected, nor does it mean we can't change our lives for the better.
It took a long time for me to finally "forgive" my abuser. She was a 14 or 15 year old "GIRL" removed from her family in Mexico to come work and live for our family, to become my dad's replacement wife in every respect. In her defense, she very well might have been abused as a child, since before becoming an adult her parents allowed her to be removed from her home to make money to send back to the family. This may have been normal in her society, but it is not normal for a child or adolescent to have this happen to them. So, if her parents thought this was a good idea for her, I would imagine she had little protection as a young girl in her societal surroundings. As to why sexually abusing me was a good idea for her, well, I have several ideas that give her the benefit of doubt, and I will just leave it at that.
But my mom does not get a pass, since I distinctly recall twice during those years telling her what was happening, in my own childlike way, and was met with a lost glaze and non response. When the abuse did not stop, I assumed it was 'okay' since mom knew about it. In reality, my mom did not want to risk (imo) losing her maid, her child care person, and her replacement wife which allowed her to go on and do whatever she pleased with no responsibilities at home to take care of.
As an adult, I did bring this up with my mom, after my dad passed, and was simply told that I should get therapy for my issues. She would not acknowledge that she had knowledge or remembered me telling her as a child that this was happening to me, yet she would not deny it either. I gave her multiple opportunities and she took the 'non responsible' path of neither acknowledgment nor denying what I went through.
My older sister would confirm that she knew it was going on, and that when it ended with me (I stopped it at 14), she took up the same thing with my younger brother who turned 7 when I turned 14 - kind of ironic).
So, those were the major "things" I needed help to get over. I was not aware of the nanny abuse till I was in my early forties, and life had finally quieted down for me, and one day having the same memories of those years, my brain stopped me and allowed me to question what happened, when it happened, and I realized how old I was, then picked up a book out of the clear and blue called "The Drama of the Gifted Child" which said that if a child experienced trauma or abuse of ANY kind, not just sexual abuse, but ANY trauma or abuse, that unless they seeked help and worked through those times and issues, that they would forever be stuck and could not grow past their stuck place in life.
That of course is debatable, but I personally believed it, especially since I would later accept and acknowledge all of my obsessions and compulsions including my binge drinking. Maybe I needed to believe this in order to make sense of my childhood. Maybe I just turned out how I turned out. Maybe I was born to be an alcoholic. BUT, maybe my childhood path helped steer me into the path of my crazy and dangerous compulsions and abuses. Regardless of my guesses, several very good shrinks were of equal opinions that yes, sexual and emotion abuse as a child help shape us and affect how we are as adults. Some people are affected less, some more, some in between.
Of course, the other possibility is that I would have ended up on my path and who I am today if I had not had any abuse of any kind, had loving and kind parents who were like "The Leave it to Beaver" family. But there seems to be too much research now that ties childhood abuse and trauma into excessive behaviors that we take on as adults.
Again, maybe not. But this is my post, and I am wondering how many other alcoholics in this forum had traumatic events in their childhood, or, did you just end up drinking to excess in spite of a rather normal trauma abuse free childhood?
Of course, trauma and abuse are relative to each of us, so that throws a little wrench into things, but I think you get my point.
Thank you.
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I am one of those who actually had no major trauma in my early life that I am aware of. I was not raised in a wealthy family but we always had all the basics that we needed. I had 2 caring/loving parents and lots of friends, participated in lots of activities. So pretty much I had the "Leave it to Beaver" childhood.
But in the end I still became an alcoholic on my own somehow.
But in the end I still became an alcoholic on my own somehow.
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Originally Posted by Whodathunk 
...it seems that there does seem to be a pattern of alcoholics and abusers of anything (drugs, food, weight loss, body issues, working out) having trauma in their early childhood or adolescent years.
Like Scott, I had, by all accounts, a normal childhood. Yet I am a drug addict and alcoholic. None of my four sisters are.
My wife was sexually abused by her father. She has all kinds of problems...PTSD and the like, but drinking and drugging isn't one of them.
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Location: Boston, MA
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Yes. I grew up in a dysfunctional, violent home. Still I think the childhood sexual abuse was the worst trauma I suffered. I had a nervous breakdown and stopped talking at age 5. It took multiple therapists and psychiatrists to "help" me. I was dx with OCD and depression as a little kid and put on loads of medications. Now, sober and going to the root of my issues, I see that I have PTSD and am doing EMDR therapy to get on with my life. Nearly all of the women I know in recovery had some sort of childhood trauma. I am sure there are some who did not, but many have suffered childhood trauma.
All of that being said..it is my belief that my childhood is not an excuse for me to drink and it's not the cause of all my problems. I'm an alcoholic and my thinking is distorted. I need a program of recovery to have a calm, peaceful life.
All of that being said..it is my belief that my childhood is not an excuse for me to drink and it's not the cause of all my problems. I'm an alcoholic and my thinking is distorted. I need a program of recovery to have a calm, peaceful life.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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No traumas that could certainly be compared to the level of so many others who were abused, etc. or lost both their parents at a young age, infants or disabilities, neither physical or mental. I would say my father's alcoholism gave me mental scars, and drunk episodes with him, etc. No abuse from his hands though, 'only' mental scarring and the odd drunken verbal abuse. Gave me a terribly low self esteem and I became introvert and even secluded and went on to what I have labeled 'self medicating' - alcohol abuse.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
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I had a very physically and mentally abusive father who left behind a lot of wreckage for his 5 kids to sort through. Of the 5, 3 of us have alcohol problems that I'm aware of. (We tended to scatter all over the country once we reached adulthood.) I hear a lot of horror stories from others that make my upbringing seem almost "normal" by comparison.
I can't say for certain there's a direct link between childhood trauma and addiction, and it's pretty much impossible to determine whether or not I would have become an alcoholic under better, or different, circumstances. Either way, as Bunny pointed out, I can't lean on anything from my past as an excuse to continue to drink. I have forgiven my father and freed myself from the damage he did. Now it's my turn to live.
I can't say for certain there's a direct link between childhood trauma and addiction, and it's pretty much impossible to determine whether or not I would have become an alcoholic under better, or different, circumstances. Either way, as Bunny pointed out, I can't lean on anything from my past as an excuse to continue to drink. I have forgiven my father and freed myself from the damage he did. Now it's my turn to live.
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I think i basicly self medicated due to the crap of my childhood. and i never learned to cope. then i hit adult hood and had big boy problems still not knowing how to cope i just medicated even more.
That being said I think i also ahve another part of me that is basicly self distructive and is dang good at sabatoging me and destroying me. this isnt limited to just booze. But I can manage to be self destructive with finanical choices or dietary or what kinds of friends i make whatever it is. I've done some stupid stuff. Sometimes not even really knowing it. I really dont know where this self destructive stuff comes from. Maybe subconciously i feel i'm no good because well thats all i was ever told? or maybe I just wanna fail? or maybe my inner addict wants to wear me down so i run for my fix? i really dont get it. But its something I have to fight with on a daily basis to try and make proper decisions.
is it from all the years of abuse? I dunno.
That being said I think i also ahve another part of me that is basicly self distructive and is dang good at sabatoging me and destroying me. this isnt limited to just booze. But I can manage to be self destructive with finanical choices or dietary or what kinds of friends i make whatever it is. I've done some stupid stuff. Sometimes not even really knowing it. I really dont know where this self destructive stuff comes from. Maybe subconciously i feel i'm no good because well thats all i was ever told? or maybe I just wanna fail? or maybe my inner addict wants to wear me down so i run for my fix? i really dont get it. But its something I have to fight with on a daily basis to try and make proper decisions.
is it from all the years of abuse? I dunno.
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and for what its worth I notice a lot of others seem to suffer from this self destructive stuff. its liek we cant help but screw our lives up some how it almost seems as if its done on purpose subconciously or something.
its like cheating on a spouse because your mad at them or something like just the insanity of some of the choices is nuts.
its like cheating on a spouse because your mad at them or something like just the insanity of some of the choices is nuts.
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Childhood/adolescent trauma: Hmmmm. Well, one well known fact is that at age 14 a lot kids start to have sexual tendencies/desires, so it doesn't surprise a whole to hear of this type of thing happening at age 14 as they begin to explore their sexuality. Also, I know of several relatives of mine that got married and started popping out babies at age 14 and in them parts that considered "okay". Heck, I think country music legend Loretta Lynn got married at 14. WAAAYH too young in my book, but in her time not unusual.
Anyways, got off track, there, sorry.
I had some childhood trauma; some I remember; some I don't. I had a good visit with my mother after I started counseling last year and she told that they were so poor when I was a toddler that we were LITERALLY living on pancake mix and milk and that's all we had to eat for a time period. I started eating dirt. (no kidding) and looking very pale with blueish lips. My mom did take me to the Dr. and she found out I was anemic and they started me on iron.
Luckily, their luck changed as my dad inherited his dad's big ranch (1000 acres). Life was still hard at times with some interesting occurnances and such, but we knew we were loved, we had fun, we ate well. My dad was a logger and worked to keep the cattle ranch going too. So, essentially he worked TWO full time jobs most all his life. Us girls did what we could to help out, but he did the bulk of it. We helped him with fixing fences, putting up hay. Those things were sort of hard work, but fun and not traumatic, ...... BUT, when dad would get to feeling depressed or stressed/pressured, he would get to drinking. When he was drunk he was a happy drunk with us kids, but my mom would PESTER him about drinking and they would have these awful, ugly fights that to this day HAUNT me.
One night he got a gun out and was going to kill himself, my mom hollered out to my older sister to come help, "Daddy's got a gun!"..... My sister went in to the bedroom and said, 'Daddy, don't shoot mommy'. He put the gun down, and never anything like that again.
I don't remember that incident, I was still pretty young, but my sister said was there and seeneyit all. I think she was maybe 8 years old, I would have been 3 or 4.
One thing that really turned our family around going in a better direction was MUSIC. Also, as an adolescent and young adult, taking a good hike by myself and taking the the view from the top of a mountain just seemed to put me in a good place.
Another traumatic experience I remember was an incident with FIRE. My dad took us all up to burn slash piles somewhere up on our property one day. For those of you who don't anything about logging, loggers leave these slash piles of evergreen tree branches and leaves. Those slash piles would make real good kindlin'...anyway those slash piles can end being bigger than a bon fire,,...one of got out of hand and we have run for our lives,,,,it was VERY SCARY....I don't remember the rest very well...I was pretty young...
Anyways, got off track, there, sorry.
I had some childhood trauma; some I remember; some I don't. I had a good visit with my mother after I started counseling last year and she told that they were so poor when I was a toddler that we were LITERALLY living on pancake mix and milk and that's all we had to eat for a time period. I started eating dirt. (no kidding) and looking very pale with blueish lips. My mom did take me to the Dr. and she found out I was anemic and they started me on iron.
Luckily, their luck changed as my dad inherited his dad's big ranch (1000 acres). Life was still hard at times with some interesting occurnances and such, but we knew we were loved, we had fun, we ate well. My dad was a logger and worked to keep the cattle ranch going too. So, essentially he worked TWO full time jobs most all his life. Us girls did what we could to help out, but he did the bulk of it. We helped him with fixing fences, putting up hay. Those things were sort of hard work, but fun and not traumatic, ...... BUT, when dad would get to feeling depressed or stressed/pressured, he would get to drinking. When he was drunk he was a happy drunk with us kids, but my mom would PESTER him about drinking and they would have these awful, ugly fights that to this day HAUNT me.
One night he got a gun out and was going to kill himself, my mom hollered out to my older sister to come help, "Daddy's got a gun!"..... My sister went in to the bedroom and said, 'Daddy, don't shoot mommy'. He put the gun down, and never anything like that again.
I don't remember that incident, I was still pretty young, but my sister said was there and seeneyit all. I think she was maybe 8 years old, I would have been 3 or 4.
One thing that really turned our family around going in a better direction was MUSIC. Also, as an adolescent and young adult, taking a good hike by myself and taking the the view from the top of a mountain just seemed to put me in a good place.
Another traumatic experience I remember was an incident with FIRE. My dad took us all up to burn slash piles somewhere up on our property one day. For those of you who don't anything about logging, loggers leave these slash piles of evergreen tree branches and leaves. Those slash piles would make real good kindlin'...anyway those slash piles can end being bigger than a bon fire,,...one of got out of hand and we have run for our lives,,,,it was VERY SCARY....I don't remember the rest very well...I was pretty young...
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Funny you should bring this up. Last week I spent time with friends of mine who organise meetings of a fellowship called ACA_DF, Adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families. This year I had also been talking to a doctor friend of mine.
The issue was an accident in my childhood which resulted in me needing to have some teeth pulled. I got the needle for the local and didn't like the pain of it. The nurse tapped my teeth and said can I feel that?. I said yes, so I got another needle.
She tapped my teeth again and asked if I could feel that. I didn't want another needle so I said no, even though I could. I didn't know what was coming next. The nurse then began pulling teeth and I screamed the house down. The doctor told me that was trauma. My mother told me to shut up as I couldn't feel anything. The ACA folks said that was my mother abandoning me.
It has left me with a morbid fear of dentists and needles. As I think about it, that abandonment, an uncle also told me about it, may have had an affect. But the switch that changed everything, the point at which my behaviour went off, was after the first time I got drunk at about 10 years old. I was not the same after that, fearful and prone to bad behaviour even though it was another three years before I got access to alcohol again.
I don't know what to make of it all. It is a bit late in the day from my point of view. But I do think about my children.
The ACA folks suggest that it is very hard if not impossible to knock all the alcoholic dysfunctional behaviour out of a family in one generation. Hopefully what I have learned in recent days might be used to help them (my children)
The issue was an accident in my childhood which resulted in me needing to have some teeth pulled. I got the needle for the local and didn't like the pain of it. The nurse tapped my teeth and said can I feel that?. I said yes, so I got another needle.
She tapped my teeth again and asked if I could feel that. I didn't want another needle so I said no, even though I could. I didn't know what was coming next. The nurse then began pulling teeth and I screamed the house down. The doctor told me that was trauma. My mother told me to shut up as I couldn't feel anything. The ACA folks said that was my mother abandoning me.
It has left me with a morbid fear of dentists and needles. As I think about it, that abandonment, an uncle also told me about it, may have had an affect. But the switch that changed everything, the point at which my behaviour went off, was after the first time I got drunk at about 10 years old. I was not the same after that, fearful and prone to bad behaviour even though it was another three years before I got access to alcohol again.
I don't know what to make of it all. It is a bit late in the day from my point of view. But I do think about my children.
The ACA folks suggest that it is very hard if not impossible to knock all the alcoholic dysfunctional behaviour out of a family in one generation. Hopefully what I have learned in recent days might be used to help them (my children)
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Gottalife, you said something that happened to me too, about 'the switch' when you got drunk at 10. I was 14, the same age my abuse ended, maybe 15, but I know I could not drive yet. An older tennis friend was driving me and him home from a tournament 1 hour from home. We were hot, tired and dehydrated and stopped at a convenience store. He bought me a quart of Miller High Life. I had never drank before. I will never forget how I seemed to welcome the escape and drifting into a peaceful place it caused me to experience. I would later remember that as being a telling moment. I did not drink except for weekend keg parties, and I was a binge drinker from my first party, and a chugger. College it progressed to several times a week. After college it because more often, then in my 30's I was drinking daily. My drinking was ALWAYS self medication to escape and not be present. I never drank for the taste or pure pleasure, it seemed I always had a purpose, to get blasted and not be present.
And I am not saying there is a direct correlation between childhood trauma and alcoholism, but I was/am interested in hearing how many of us have the two in the same equation. Yet two so far have not.
I think there is little question though that we get our hardwiring in our childhood and anything to disrupt the normal programming can have a negative effect, but maybe not too. Who knows. But I don't "BLAME" my alcoholism on my childhood. I feel pretty blessed to have figured out I was a drunk and got my sobriety going, which was not easy.
And I am not saying there is a direct correlation between childhood trauma and alcoholism, but I was/am interested in hearing how many of us have the two in the same equation. Yet two so far have not.
I think there is little question though that we get our hardwiring in our childhood and anything to disrupt the normal programming can have a negative effect, but maybe not too. Who knows. But I don't "BLAME" my alcoholism on my childhood. I feel pretty blessed to have figured out I was a drunk and got my sobriety going, which was not easy.
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yeah my child hood molded me and shaped me into the drunken mess i bloomed into from it. and really if not for the panic attacks I would not have quit for any reason i dont think. Then i got sober and it was like WTF AM I? and a lot of what had formed me into what i had become really unraveled i had to basicly start clean and figur eout wtf i am. it was scary etc..
I"m kinda glad tho now at this point that my childhood doesnt really define my day to day nonsense any longer. its all still there or what not it happened but that is that. At times i feel cheated but i dunno i beat myself up enough about it alreayd and so did others its like it is what it is oh well.
it is nice tho to have a fresh start and not have that all draggen me down any longer.
I"m kinda glad tho now at this point that my childhood doesnt really define my day to day nonsense any longer. its all still there or what not it happened but that is that. At times i feel cheated but i dunno i beat myself up enough about it alreayd and so did others its like it is what it is oh well.
it is nice tho to have a fresh start and not have that all draggen me down any longer.
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Great Point ZJW about WTF AM I, for me also who am I? Having been drinking for that many years every day, with the end being blackouts every night and drinking from morning to night, I really did not know who I was. I think this is why in AA it is suggested that we not make any major decisions (if possible) in the first year of sobriety. Until you are doing that first year, you have no way to appreciate how everything that you experience is almost a first time experience to digest the emotions and feelings. For me it was just damn scary so often, and that fear was my go to for drinking, so it was really difficult not to drink. What really was a true showing of how gone I was, watching almost any movie for the second time, that I had seen for the first time in those last 3-5 years of drinking, was like watching it for the first time. I could not remember the movies I had seen. I was just drifting through life, how sad. But a blessing to accept it all now and just appreciate each sober day and minute that I have.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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No trauma here either. My parents were far from perfect but they loved me, mostly gave me what I needed to the best of their abilities, no abuse, and yet I still turned to drugs and alcohol at 15 and much later became an alcohol addict. Addiction seems to be a biochemical condition, and while childhood issues certainly can lead us to drink to excess so that addiction has the opportunity to bloom, I'm not sure there's any solid evidence that addiction itself is related to how we were raised.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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My guess is that people with abuse in their past have a higher incidence if addiction. I seem to recall a study that found a higher incidence of heroin use in sexual abuse victims.
My guess is that it is not the abuse itself that leads to increased substance use (if in fact my guess is correct) but rather the psychological condition that results from the abuse. This could be PTSD, Depression, an anxiety disorder etc. People then turn to a substances to make themselves feel better (self medicate) and then end up with a substance use disorder on top of another diagnosis.
I think there is still a very significant number of individuals, who end up with addiction, who never had a psychological diagnosis and were not self medicating. It's my belief that a majority of these, have (for lack of a better term) a "spiritual" condition which is characterized by feelings of 'emptiness' and or meaninglessness.
The etiologies of addiction can be remarkably diverse but the course of them is remarkably similar.
My guess is that it is not the abuse itself that leads to increased substance use (if in fact my guess is correct) but rather the psychological condition that results from the abuse. This could be PTSD, Depression, an anxiety disorder etc. People then turn to a substances to make themselves feel better (self medicate) and then end up with a substance use disorder on top of another diagnosis.
I think there is still a very significant number of individuals, who end up with addiction, who never had a psychological diagnosis and were not self medicating. It's my belief that a majority of these, have (for lack of a better term) a "spiritual" condition which is characterized by feelings of 'emptiness' and or meaninglessness.
The etiologies of addiction can be remarkably diverse but the course of them is remarkably similar.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
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Tons of childhood trauma. I've never learned coping skills. I've been chronically suidicidal since around age 9 and developed an eating disorder at age 12. At 16 I learned how good drinking made me feel... blitzed myself on pot for awhile before that got old once I was legal to drink. Had some babies straight into my 20s and didn't drink much for 5 years... still suicidal and bulimic and knew nothing but abusive relationships my whole life.
I had a poor prognosis straight out of the gate in my life and I've done a damned good job at playing every shite card in my hand along the way... Lots of compulsive gambling and spending.
People always say I have such an interesting life story when I tell the socially accepted parts of it. I was never set up to win at this.
Only difference is now I know I do have the power to change my odds if I stop playing certain games.
My birth mom died overdosing on prescription meds while drinking alcohol. I've tried it a few times now. I'm still here... obviously there's a reason for that.
I had a poor prognosis straight out of the gate in my life and I've done a damned good job at playing every shite card in my hand along the way... Lots of compulsive gambling and spending.
People always say I have such an interesting life story when I tell the socially accepted parts of it. I was never set up to win at this.
Only difference is now I know I do have the power to change my odds if I stop playing certain games.
My birth mom died overdosing on prescription meds while drinking alcohol. I've tried it a few times now. I'm still here... obviously there's a reason for that.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
You know, I really don't know if there is a direct correlation between childhood trauma and becoming an alcoholic.
I do know that there are certain professions that have higher rates of becoming an alcoholic or drug addict. Such as lawyers, etc.
I cannot say that all my childhood was traumatic. I think growing up on a big ranch like that we had to be tough, whether drinking or sober. My dad let me take a sip off his beer once in awhile. And sometimes during haying season us kids (us, cousins, friends) would sneak away and take a swig off the bottle of whiskey that was kept under my uncle's truck seat. But, most of kids did not just turn into alcoholics.
My mom was pretty strict. We were not allowed to drink or go to any parties or keggers when we still lived at home. So, I didn't really start drinking until college. And boy did I party there for awhile...But at that time in my life, I also got SUPER into fitness and have always been athletic. Just speaking for myself, when I am as fit and healthy as I like to be it seems like I had always in the past drank less. (occasional). The way our human bodies are made, we've a lot of natural endorphins that are much better high than alcohol. All the way around, drinking is just not good.
If a person is drinking because of childhood trauma, they need counseling (my opinion) to get it resolved. There could things from childhood we don't consciously remember...
And, drinking did not become a problem for my until later in life. So, I can't figure it too well. Each of us is so different, yet there are many similarities.
I do know that there are certain professions that have higher rates of becoming an alcoholic or drug addict. Such as lawyers, etc.
I cannot say that all my childhood was traumatic. I think growing up on a big ranch like that we had to be tough, whether drinking or sober. My dad let me take a sip off his beer once in awhile. And sometimes during haying season us kids (us, cousins, friends) would sneak away and take a swig off the bottle of whiskey that was kept under my uncle's truck seat. But, most of kids did not just turn into alcoholics.
My mom was pretty strict. We were not allowed to drink or go to any parties or keggers when we still lived at home. So, I didn't really start drinking until college. And boy did I party there for awhile...But at that time in my life, I also got SUPER into fitness and have always been athletic. Just speaking for myself, when I am as fit and healthy as I like to be it seems like I had always in the past drank less. (occasional). The way our human bodies are made, we've a lot of natural endorphins that are much better high than alcohol. All the way around, drinking is just not good.
If a person is drinking because of childhood trauma, they need counseling (my opinion) to get it resolved. There could things from childhood we don't consciously remember...
And, drinking did not become a problem for my until later in life. So, I can't figure it too well. Each of us is so different, yet there are many similarities.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,231
I think all things aside i have a very unsatisfied feeling that needs satisfying. All my life I've felt uncomfortable in my skin (I guess this is the best way to describe it?) I'm told now that this is normal and probably jsut part of being human.
But throw in abuse and problems and biting off more then i can chew and stressful situations etc.. it just makes this discomfort even worse then give me 0 coping skills and offer me a drink or a joint and well its pretty easy to understand why it all went down.
I was ripe for it.
But throw in abuse and problems and biting off more then i can chew and stressful situations etc.. it just makes this discomfort even worse then give me 0 coping skills and offer me a drink or a joint and well its pretty easy to understand why it all went down.
I was ripe for it.
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