My sobriety journal.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Yeah I had really retreated into myself, things like the phone ringing was stressing me out. I wouldn't answer it but would text whoever it was, just silly behaviour. I'd been avoiding getting a haircut cuz I had promised to design her a business card (I was running a little home business doing signs/ designs) but I never produced the design. I got that sorted out today, it was bothering me that I hadnt' fulfilled that obligation or communicated with her at all about why I hadn't. Got my hair cut though and it looks fabulous!! Feeling more like myself. I had stopped trying at all which is sad because I used to always try to look good and had pride in my looks. Today I'm wearing makeup and jewelery and dressed with some care, and now my hair looks good again 
I just signed up for a service that delivers organic fruits and vegetables for a very reasonable price. Plus they give you recipes to prepare the food with. I really want to heal myself with diet and exercise, I just believe there is so much to that! Other times when I quit I would reach out for sugar and kept that hypoglycemic dynamic going on where I still reward my brain with sugar. I want to break that cycle and truly get healthy. Just generally be really mindful of how I treat myself, even how I self talk, I can be so hard on myself.
I feel more limber too! Nice having energy again!
I just signed up for a service that delivers organic fruits and vegetables for a very reasonable price. Plus they give you recipes to prepare the food with. I really want to heal myself with diet and exercise, I just believe there is so much to that! Other times when I quit I would reach out for sugar and kept that hypoglycemic dynamic going on where I still reward my brain with sugar. I want to break that cycle and truly get healthy. Just generally be really mindful of how I treat myself, even how I self talk, I can be so hard on myself.
I feel more limber too! Nice having energy again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Originally Posted by zjw 
glad your feeling better. Keep going with it.
Yep I agree with everything you said. theres not a lot of great docs in my area too so i'd be bouncing around spending money probably getting nowhere.
The thing is if its a stress fracture they dont know till they do a scan they may not order one till i'm sitting around 2 months from now still in pain who knows. If its tendonitis again they will say rest etc.. and then a couple months from now all is fine.
Its like theres nothing they can do unless its some serious fracture and they order surgery. ALl they are gonna do is tell me to rest and such no matter what the real issue is.
I dont foresee myself liking that advice lol. I went easy the other day then took off yest. Today I'm gonna run slow and heal strike as its less stress on the foot in this area. and wear some really coushy shoes. I'm not really happy about it. I wanna just go back to my vibrams lol but I'm trying to make due.
yeah its cheaper to just die then go tot he doc in this country hahaha thats always what i say.
I've had some other ongoing health problems everytime i mention it to the doc oh maybe its just blood sugar maybe its just this your bloodwork is fine your fine meanwile i still have issues and I think gee I guess i'll just drop dead one day and no one will know why lol.
I'm on the fence with vitamins. I think a healthy diet is best BUT i know in the case of myself being such a heavy drinker I was probably a morbidly obese malnourished person when i got sober and felt vitamins might be a good idea to help get me back to where I should be. I took some then but I dont really take any now cept for D and b12.
oh well.
Yep I agree with everything you said. theres not a lot of great docs in my area too so i'd be bouncing around spending money probably getting nowhere.
The thing is if its a stress fracture they dont know till they do a scan they may not order one till i'm sitting around 2 months from now still in pain who knows. If its tendonitis again they will say rest etc.. and then a couple months from now all is fine.
Its like theres nothing they can do unless its some serious fracture and they order surgery. ALl they are gonna do is tell me to rest and such no matter what the real issue is.
I dont foresee myself liking that advice lol. I went easy the other day then took off yest. Today I'm gonna run slow and heal strike as its less stress on the foot in this area. and wear some really coushy shoes. I'm not really happy about it. I wanna just go back to my vibrams lol but I'm trying to make due.
yeah its cheaper to just die then go tot he doc in this country hahaha thats always what i say.
I've had some other ongoing health problems everytime i mention it to the doc oh maybe its just blood sugar maybe its just this your bloodwork is fine your fine meanwile i still have issues and I think gee I guess i'll just drop dead one day and no one will know why lol.
I'm on the fence with vitamins. I think a healthy diet is best BUT i know in the case of myself being such a heavy drinker I was probably a morbidly obese malnourished person when i got sober and felt vitamins might be a good idea to help get me back to where I should be. I took some then but I dont really take any now cept for D and b12.
oh well.
It's crazy how the States has a never ending supply of money for the war machine but not for the health of it's citizens they are "protecting". It's cold up here in Canada and I hate the winters but I love that if I get sick I can be taken care of. That's messed up that it's cheaper to die than see a doctor! If it were me I'd be thinking that I don't want to spend the money on myself because I'd want to save it in case I have to spend it on one of kids.
Watching another doc about health and wellness called PlantPure Nation. It's about whole food vegan diets to treat/ prevent disease. It's about the guy who wrote The China Diet, I haven't read it but I know about it through my sister who has MS. She was told by her regular doc, not a specialist, that people in Asia don't have MS and that he thinks it's because they don't eat any dairy. She has largely treated her MS with diet and years after her diagnosis is doing very well. There is definitely something to it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
aaa yes the china study very good book 
. and yeah plant based diet is dang good at reverseing diabetes cancer heart disease among many other illness's anyone who doesnt believe me the literature is all out there and so are many youtube success stories etc...
besides i was an unhealthy half dead obese mess and i'm healthy as a horse so i'm a pretty firm believer in it because I've expierineced the benefits first hand.
Some people say eating vegan is expensive. I find it to be considerable cheaper.
White rice beans lentils all that is way cheap. I pay 6 dollars for 40lbs of bananas. 100 dollars for 40lbs of dates. Potatos are incredibly cheap and those are all my staples. I can make some really great vegan meals. But I also love to just eat very simply and enjoy foods just how they came to me from nature too.
Is it hard to stick too? yeah well of course. But I dunno the food you eat is the food you crave. eating crap food really doesnt cross my mind anymore I crave good stuff.
Tho when you posted up about eating crab i was gonna ask Snow crab? lol I love me some snow crab!! but I have not eaten something like that in over 3 years. and snow crab really isnt that big of a dietary sin lol.
I started into vibrams a few weeks ago its an adjustment but I absolutly love them. I have some funky stuff with my right foot it moves in a strange way. Vibrams being like a glove for your foot allow it to do what it wants to do. Vibrams are much lower impact too. You do not heal strike in them thats a no no and they will let you know if you do. its more like barefoot running. wanna know what its like? take your shoes off and run barefoot total different ball game. and contrary to what many think its way less impact many
well all my aches and pains went away within the first few days of switching to them so i'm eager to get back into them.
Yeah I blow through a pair of shoes in about a month very very easily. they will look new but there totally trashed. I"m hoping by switching to vibrams and changing my running form i'll be able to get a little more time out of a pair of shoes and save a few bucks. Supposivly the vibrams last longer too but I cant vouch for that.
yeah RICE is what they say. I was able to run 7 miles today. SO we'll see if i'm even walking later today lol.
the strange thing is after excercise my foot is usually better the swelling goes down the pain clears up etc...
. and yeah plant based diet is dang good at reverseing diabetes cancer heart disease among many other illness's anyone who doesnt believe me the literature is all out there and so are many youtube success stories etc...besides i was an unhealthy half dead obese mess and i'm healthy as a horse so i'm a pretty firm believer in it because I've expierineced the benefits first hand.
Some people say eating vegan is expensive. I find it to be considerable cheaper.
White rice beans lentils all that is way cheap. I pay 6 dollars for 40lbs of bananas. 100 dollars for 40lbs of dates. Potatos are incredibly cheap and those are all my staples. I can make some really great vegan meals. But I also love to just eat very simply and enjoy foods just how they came to me from nature too.
Is it hard to stick too? yeah well of course. But I dunno the food you eat is the food you crave. eating crap food really doesnt cross my mind anymore I crave good stuff.
Tho when you posted up about eating crab i was gonna ask Snow crab? lol I love me some snow crab!! but I have not eaten something like that in over 3 years. and snow crab really isnt that big of a dietary sin lol.
I started into vibrams a few weeks ago its an adjustment but I absolutly love them. I have some funky stuff with my right foot it moves in a strange way. Vibrams being like a glove for your foot allow it to do what it wants to do. Vibrams are much lower impact too. You do not heal strike in them thats a no no and they will let you know if you do. its more like barefoot running. wanna know what its like? take your shoes off and run barefoot total different ball game. and contrary to what many think its way less impact many
well all my aches and pains went away within the first few days of switching to them so i'm eager to get back into them.
Yeah I blow through a pair of shoes in about a month very very easily. they will look new but there totally trashed. I"m hoping by switching to vibrams and changing my running form i'll be able to get a little more time out of a pair of shoes and save a few bucks. Supposivly the vibrams last longer too but I cant vouch for that.
yeah RICE is what they say. I was able to run 7 miles today. SO we'll see if i'm even walking later today lol.
the strange thing is after excercise my foot is usually better the swelling goes down the pain clears up etc...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
It was indeed snow crab! Messy and hard to get to the meat, I worked for every delicious bite of it! The only dietary sin about it was all the garlic butter.... but hey it beats 8 tall boys of Grolsch!
Yeah I've noticed that my grocery bill has gone down since I stopped eating meat with every dinner which is great because next to the mortgage groceries are my biggest expense. It's a bit harder to stick to because there is more planning involved and because I'm not used to the recipes so I have to pay more attention. When my boys were little, before alcohol really got it's nasty claws into me, I was uber healthy, I ate mostly fruits and veggies and worked out everyday! I looked and felt fantastic, those were the happiest years of my life. I want that back.
Are you icing and elevating your foot right after exercising? You should if you aren't, that's what they told me in physio. It will help keep the inflammation down.
Yeah I've noticed that my grocery bill has gone down since I stopped eating meat with every dinner which is great because next to the mortgage groceries are my biggest expense. It's a bit harder to stick to because there is more planning involved and because I'm not used to the recipes so I have to pay more attention. When my boys were little, before alcohol really got it's nasty claws into me, I was uber healthy, I ate mostly fruits and veggies and worked out everyday! I looked and felt fantastic, those were the happiest years of my life. I want that back.
Are you icing and elevating your foot right after exercising? You should if you aren't, that's what they told me in physio. It will help keep the inflammation down.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
i keep it up as much as possible and use ben gay etc.. I hate icing i did it the other day but gosh i hate it.
hard to get at the meat? geeze i'm a snow crab pro i get the meat out like nothing!! haha. I ate rediculous amts of snow crab back in the day lol.
yeah gas and groceries big expenses lol tho gas is going down in the states yay!.
you shouldnt have a problem restoreing your health. Back when i drank i'd get up and felt like i was 90 hobbled around in so much pain. thankfully the body heals.
hard to get at the meat? geeze i'm a snow crab pro i get the meat out like nothing!! haha. I ate rediculous amts of snow crab back in the day lol.
yeah gas and groceries big expenses lol tho gas is going down in the states yay!.
you shouldnt have a problem restoreing your health. Back when i drank i'd get up and felt like i was 90 hobbled around in so much pain. thankfully the body heals.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
Glad you did some self-care zen--dream was very interesting.
Maybe like you said, you rescuing you?
Crab with melted butter is my favorite decadent meal--excellent choice!
zjw, I spent many years running and I think, unfortunately, you need to
slow down with your barefoot transition and cut back on the miles for the moment.
You may be running yourself into some serious downtime if you don't.
I've had several stress fractures and they don't get better with exercise.
I know how crazy it can make you not getting the cardio fix, but is there any way
you could get to a pool, or even find an elliptical on Craig's list?
One thing that really works for me and cardio you could get cheaply is a rowing machine.
People buy them, don't use them, and sell them cheap.
They are extremely effective and could give you a way to work out
and reduce the miles.
But I suggest you really consider laying off and letting you foot recover.
Just a suggestion, but one based on a lifetime of being an active athlete
Maybe like you said, you rescuing you?
Crab with melted butter is my favorite decadent meal--excellent choice!
zjw, I spent many years running and I think, unfortunately, you need to
slow down with your barefoot transition and cut back on the miles for the moment.
You may be running yourself into some serious downtime if you don't.
I've had several stress fractures and they don't get better with exercise.
I know how crazy it can make you not getting the cardio fix, but is there any way
you could get to a pool, or even find an elliptical on Craig's list?
One thing that really works for me and cardio you could get cheaply is a rowing machine.
People buy them, don't use them, and sell them cheap.
They are extremely effective and could give you a way to work out
and reduce the miles.
But I suggest you really consider laying off and letting you foot recover.
Just a suggestion, but one based on a lifetime of being an active athlete
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Yeah you aren't alone in hating icing! I hate it too, for awhile I was rotating the ice pack between my two knees and my foot..... good times!
By the end of my crab meal I was a pro at it, there is a technique, you have to pull one end out first. Messy goodness.
Just getting in from taking my son to the movies, we saw Gods of Egypt, not the best movie ever made but it was ok, lots of CGI. Nice to be able to drive and to feel like leaving the house. He's a good kid, I'm really lucky, he has turned out well despite me. They both have. Tomorrow my family and my sisters and my mom and aunt and cousin are all going bowling! I'm looking forward to it
By the end of my crab meal I was a pro at it, there is a technique, you have to pull one end out first. Messy goodness.
Just getting in from taking my son to the movies, we saw Gods of Egypt, not the best movie ever made but it was ok, lots of CGI. Nice to be able to drive and to feel like leaving the house. He's a good kid, I'm really lucky, he has turned out well despite me. They both have. Tomorrow my family and my sisters and my mom and aunt and cousin are all going bowling! I'm looking forward to it
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
thanks hawkeye. I've downed my miles some not by choice but because I simply cant. and I did back off the barefoot transition lol. theres been no way i was gonna be running in vibrams with this pain going on. And yeah I got a rowing machine and a bike. Honestly neither are the same when it comes to the fix i get from running. I was thinking yest about trying an elipitical I used one years ago before i started running I'm not sure if it would provide the same fix or not.
Thats kinda been the battle. On the off days I've used the bike or the rower and honestly felt pretty unsatisfied.
Last night the foot felt the best it has. this morning it hurts but not as bad as most mornings. Feels like more of a tissue thing then anything if that makes any sense tho there is some pain when i put pressure on one of the metatarsels where it joins up opposite end of the toes. I'm not sure what thats about.
Crazy thing too is after i run or bike or whatever it always feels better maybe just endorphins i dunno.
Thats kinda been the battle. On the off days I've used the bike or the rower and honestly felt pretty unsatisfied.
Last night the foot felt the best it has. this morning it hurts but not as bad as most mornings. Feels like more of a tissue thing then anything if that makes any sense tho there is some pain when i put pressure on one of the metatarsels where it joins up opposite end of the toes. I'm not sure what thats about.
Crazy thing too is after i run or bike or whatever it always feels better maybe just endorphins i dunno.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
for what its wroth its hard for me to decide when its time to rest and when its not. if i rested everytime i had some ache or pain there is no way i'd be where i am right now.
I always figure if I'm capable I will. Or if I'm capable but my gut says nah back off I'll back off. But If i can't I just dont even bother to try and force it.
Other stupid things like a few weeks ago I had some achillies pain in my left foot caused by a certain pair of shoes i was wearing. I backed off I didnt want to mess with that then i ran later that day tho in a different pair of shoes and felt just fine.
On average tho I dont take days off a rest day for me is a 3 or 4 mile fun run lol.
I always figure if I'm capable I will. Or if I'm capable but my gut says nah back off I'll back off. But If i can't I just dont even bother to try and force it.
Other stupid things like a few weeks ago I had some achillies pain in my left foot caused by a certain pair of shoes i was wearing. I backed off I didnt want to mess with that then i ran later that day tho in a different pair of shoes and felt just fine.
On average tho I dont take days off a rest day for me is a 3 or 4 mile fun run lol.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
consulted with Dr google again this morning .... and I'm leaning towards a midtarsal fault and very possibly extensor tendonitis. I really think i got both those going on. I really dont think I have a stress fracture. It would also explain why hucking on less minimal shoes etc.. seems to help matters considerably Like yesturdays run I ran in asics Kayanos and life went better. I was still able to forefoot strike just fine and things went well aside from at the end my foot was pretty tired IE all the muscles in it.
Alright thats enough of this rest talk LALALALALLA I CANT HEAR YOU LALALALAA
.... and I'm leaning towards a midtarsal fault and very possibly extensor tendonitis. I really think i got both those going on. I really dont think I have a stress fracture. It would also explain why hucking on less minimal shoes etc.. seems to help matters considerably Like yesturdays run I ran in asics Kayanos and life went better. I was still able to forefoot strike just fine and things went well aside from at the end my foot was pretty tired IE all the muscles in it. Alright thats enough of this rest talk LALALALALLA I CANT HEAR YOU LALALALAA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Soft tissue injuries can be worse than breaks or fractures though, they take forever to heal and if they don't heal properly they can become chronic. Also you run the risk of getting new injuries because other parts of your body will start trying to compensate. Just be careful. A few weeks of doing some different exercises won't kill you, you will survive stubborn one! Especially since you don't know what's actually wrong. I vote for the pool, it's a great total body workout and it's low impact. What about biking? I know people who put some serious miles on their bikes.
More bad dreams last night. Dreamt that I was swept out to sea by a big wave and that the undertow of each new wave pulled me further and further out until I could see the entire beach and I was scanning it to see if there was anyone on it who could rescue me but there was no one. I started to panic and realized that I was going to drown, woke myself up. One thing about going to bed sober I sure do sleep!
More bad dreams last night. Dreamt that I was swept out to sea by a big wave and that the undertow of each new wave pulled me further and further out until I could see the entire beach and I was scanning it to see if there was anyone on it who could rescue me but there was no one. I started to panic and realized that I was going to drown, woke myself up. One thing about going to bed sober I sure do sleep!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
yeah being sober i sleep better and i dream more thats not always a good thing Its like quiting smoking and suddenly i could smell sure thats great when you got roses but stinks when you got poo. That is life i guess lol ups and downs.
Yeah I hate talking about my foot tho on your thread lol.
its too cold to outdoor bike here but i got a recumbent i use. i got an outdoor one but nothing fancy i'd like to get somehting fancy but I'm still on the fence if its something I wanna get into its a big expense and I worry about getting hit by a car or something (i oddly dont have this worry running down the street tho ::scratcthes head:
no pool options here either and i despise swimming but I could see myself getting over that tho if i even had the option GRRRR.
funny thing is i told my wife said I think its the midtarsel fault. shes like yeah that was my first guess when you told me what was going on. I was like WTF why didnt you say something. She says cause you wont listen to me anyhow HAHAHA
shes right i always do crap the hard way.
When i was a kid I had big teeth coming in before the little ones came out. I mean they shoulda long since fallen out and never did most parents woulda taken there kids to the dentist to have them yanked. Not mine... Me? I grabbed a butter knife a pair of plyers and a paper clip and some whiskey. I was about 12 or 13? and started digging. I learned that plyers are a bad idea has sometimes the tooth breaks and you only get pieces of it at a time.
Why didnt i ask for help or beg to go to the dentist? wtf would the point have been? So that kinda thing is like ingrained in me always this mentality of nah nah i'll figure this out I got this ill be fine shut up what do you know rarararara I might even later go man i'm such an idiot i shoulda listened etc.. you'd think i'd learn? nooo *sigh*.
I will say however if i ever relapse I want someone to drag me kicking and screaming to AA. I was a fool to sober up the first year with no support at all.
Yeah I hate talking about my foot tho on your thread lol.
its too cold to outdoor bike here but i got a recumbent i use. i got an outdoor one but nothing fancy i'd like to get somehting fancy but I'm still on the fence if its something I wanna get into its a big expense and I worry about getting hit by a car or something (i oddly dont have this worry running down the street tho ::scratcthes head:
no pool options here either and i despise swimming but I could see myself getting over that tho if i even had the option GRRRR.
funny thing is i told my wife said I think its the midtarsel fault. shes like yeah that was my first guess when you told me what was going on. I was like WTF why didnt you say something. She says cause you wont listen to me anyhow HAHAHA
shes right i always do crap the hard way.
When i was a kid I had big teeth coming in before the little ones came out. I mean they shoulda long since fallen out and never did most parents woulda taken there kids to the dentist to have them yanked. Not mine... Me? I grabbed a butter knife a pair of plyers and a paper clip and some whiskey. I was about 12 or 13? and started digging. I learned that plyers are a bad idea has sometimes the tooth breaks and you only get pieces of it at a time.
Why didnt i ask for help or beg to go to the dentist? wtf would the point have been? So that kinda thing is like ingrained in me always this mentality of nah nah i'll figure this out I got this ill be fine shut up what do you know rarararara I might even later go man i'm such an idiot i shoulda listened etc.. you'd think i'd learn? nooo *sigh*.
I will say however if i ever relapse I want someone to drag me kicking and screaming to AA. I was a fool to sober up the first year with no support at all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Don't worry about talking about your foot on my thread.
I just know that when my foot was really bad just walking was agony. I ended up in the ER because I didn't agree with the specialists opinion and I was convinced something was broken. I literally did not know what to do and I couldn't keep going with that level of pain. When the ER said nothing was broken and there wasn't anything they could do but give me pain pills and to go back to the specialist I cried like a little girl, could not help myself from it! I was so embarrassed! Thank God I had my sunglasses with me. lol
I don't know how you run on it! But I also don't know how you could pull out your own teeth! Yee Gods! I actually know another person who pulled his own tooth. I would die. And you were only 12? What did your mother say when she found out you'd performed dental surgery on yourself?
I just know that when my foot was really bad just walking was agony. I ended up in the ER because I didn't agree with the specialists opinion and I was convinced something was broken. I literally did not know what to do and I couldn't keep going with that level of pain. When the ER said nothing was broken and there wasn't anything they could do but give me pain pills and to go back to the specialist I cried like a little girl, could not help myself from it! I was so embarrassed! Thank God I had my sunglasses with me. lol
I don't know how you run on it! But I also don't know how you could pull out your own teeth! Yee Gods! I actually know another person who pulled his own tooth. I would die. And you were only 12? What did your mother say when she found out you'd performed dental surgery on yourself?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
zjw;
I totally get not wanting to stop running,
but I've had some friends who ruined their legs, feet, etc.
and had to quit running all together by running through injury.
So being stubborn will get you only so far down the road once
injury sets in.
This gets worse with age and you have to watch it even more.
Funny how that works with the drinking, and quitting drinking.
I also just stopped and refused to ask for help.
Spent several days up in my room detoxing in a very painful way.
Didn't get any support.
Same thing when I relapsed (which I called "moderating")
This time I just stopped on my own no support either.
I'm that way. But I do post on here some and try to support others.
That does help.
Elliptical was a good thing for me--I could imitate running without striking
and jarring, so maybe look into that.
zen;
your dream seems to suggest you are (perhaps) the one you're waiting for.
No one on the beach so you kept swimming.
You woke yourself up, and in that way you saved yourself.
Maybe that's happening in your "real life" too?
I totally get not wanting to stop running,
but I've had some friends who ruined their legs, feet, etc.
and had to quit running all together by running through injury.
So being stubborn will get you only so far down the road once
injury sets in.
This gets worse with age and you have to watch it even more.
Funny how that works with the drinking, and quitting drinking.
I also just stopped and refused to ask for help.
Spent several days up in my room detoxing in a very painful way.
Didn't get any support.
Same thing when I relapsed (which I called "moderating")
This time I just stopped on my own no support either.
I'm that way. But I do post on here some and try to support others.
That does help.
Elliptical was a good thing for me--I could imitate running without striking
and jarring, so maybe look into that.
zen;
your dream seems to suggest you are (perhaps) the one you're waiting for.
No one on the beach so you kept swimming.
You woke yourself up, and in that way you saved yourself.
Maybe that's happening in your "real life" too?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
for what its worth I didnt run today. yet anyhow lol. I biked. I went to run but it was too painful putting the pressure on the foot I thought this could go either way a mile in no big deal or a mile in i'm getting off.
I'm doing the samething i've done every day now tho crossing my fingers that tommorrow will be better.
One reason I run in pain tho is becuase If i'm able I figure go for it. I have no idea what tommorrow might bring. I might as well make the best of today etc..
My mom doesnt know what i did. Thats how oblivious she is to the problem. They did take me to the dentist all of maybe twice? anyhow the second time was for a filling The dentist assured me the clear fillings are great and would last for years to come. About 4 months later it fell out. I told my mom she did nothing. Fast forward I'm an adult now spoke to an oral surgeon once about this he was like Oh My GOD and said its very likely i'd need a root canal now.
Now I got dental insurance go figure! but it doesnt cover a whole lot. and well I"m terrified to go that route.
Zen I can relate to the unbearable pain not knowing what to do. When i sprained my ankle they sent me home in crutches with 2 percocets or something. I was in horrible pain 2 percocets wasnt gonna do me any favors at all. They called me up said we think there might be a fracture go see a specialist ASAP so i did. He looks at the xray says nope just a sprain. I've had doctors miss fractures on xrays before. I was in a lot of pain. and I kid you not it took years to overcome that pain. I never asked for more pain meds I figured they'd just think i was some kind of pill popper.
But All these years I wondered was there a fracture? Did it not heal properly? Should I have gone for yet another opinion?
So now with my current injury I'm just not super eager to play doctor pinball and get nowhere all over again even if i did have insurance. Again back to my cheaper to die comment lol.
I'm doing the samething i've done every day now tho crossing my fingers that tommorrow will be better.
One reason I run in pain tho is becuase If i'm able I figure go for it. I have no idea what tommorrow might bring. I might as well make the best of today etc..
My mom doesnt know what i did. Thats how oblivious she is to the problem. They did take me to the dentist all of maybe twice? anyhow the second time was for a filling The dentist assured me the clear fillings are great and would last for years to come. About 4 months later it fell out. I told my mom she did nothing. Fast forward I'm an adult now spoke to an oral surgeon once about this he was like Oh My GOD and said its very likely i'd need a root canal now.
Now I got dental insurance go figure! but it doesnt cover a whole lot. and well I"m terrified to go that route.
Zen I can relate to the unbearable pain not knowing what to do. When i sprained my ankle they sent me home in crutches with 2 percocets or something. I was in horrible pain 2 percocets wasnt gonna do me any favors at all. They called me up said we think there might be a fracture go see a specialist ASAP so i did. He looks at the xray says nope just a sprain. I've had doctors miss fractures on xrays before. I was in a lot of pain. and I kid you not it took years to overcome that pain. I never asked for more pain meds I figured they'd just think i was some kind of pill popper.
But All these years I wondered was there a fracture? Did it not heal properly? Should I have gone for yet another opinion?
So now with my current injury I'm just not super eager to play doctor pinball and get nowhere all over again even if i did have insurance. Again back to my cheaper to die comment lol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Thanks SW! I am having a nice weekend and I hope you are too!
I'm just getting home from bowling with a bunch of family. It was a lot of fun, lots of laughing, I bowled two strikes in a row on the last frame and won the game! I was the only person not drinking. I was actually surprised that everyone drank, it was the middle of the afternoon and we had the kids with us. I went into it thinking it was a good safe activity for me being so early into sobering up. But oh well. I'm not all triggered and in a state over it and it wasn't a big deal to say no to a beer. I don't know if I'm riding some "pink cloud" but I feel waaaaaaay better! Like I'm back! It was easy to say no.
My foot is sore from bowling though.... how sad is that? I can't even bowl without aggravating injuries! It's the bone on my side of the foot that stabilizes me and I guess the motion of bowling activated it in a way that it's not used to. Gonna ice it lol
I'm just getting home from bowling with a bunch of family. It was a lot of fun, lots of laughing, I bowled two strikes in a row on the last frame and won the game! I was the only person not drinking. I was actually surprised that everyone drank, it was the middle of the afternoon and we had the kids with us. I went into it thinking it was a good safe activity for me being so early into sobering up. But oh well. I'm not all triggered and in a state over it and it wasn't a big deal to say no to a beer. I don't know if I'm riding some "pink cloud" but I feel waaaaaaay better! Like I'm back! It was easy to say no.
My foot is sore from bowling though.... how sad is that? I can't even bowl without aggravating injuries! It's the bone on my side of the foot that stabilizes me and I guess the motion of bowling activated it in a way that it's not used to. Gonna ice it lol
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
glad the bowling went well and you where able to say no with little issue thats good!!
gotta love those stupid injuries. I get mad if i have to carry a little one too much in given day it'll wear me out this hurts that hurts i'll wine and then i get angry that with as fit as i am such a simple activity can slaughter me lol.
gotta love those stupid injuries. I get mad if i have to carry a little one too much in given day it'll wear me out this hurts that hurts i'll wine and then i get angry that with as fit as i am such a simple activity can slaughter me lol.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Fret not about the pink cloud or whatever it is that makes it easy to say no; just hold onto that for when it gets a bit more difficult or you are ready to sabotage yourself.
And fwiw, I love icing - especially buttercream.
And fwiw, I love icing - especially buttercream.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
