tomsteve

great suggestion.
you can read many,many threads here of people who thought they were done for good and didnt have any desire or craving to drink.......
until the storm passed.

KDBnSLC

SMART recovery has daily online meetings you could try. I prefer reading/posting here. Sometimes "fights" break out in their chat room (I don't think it's monitored as well as this one is) at least that was my experience before I found this site.
Good luck!!!

OCDDan

I think the way to properly thank you all for taking the time to help me would be to post what I think will be my course of action going forward, until then I would simply like to say "Thank You" for the idea's, it is very much appreciated, I plan on making a list of these idea's and think them through. I have been going a little more regularly to AA and have been trying different meetings (well at least one new one so far out of three). I had suggested to my therapist that I try new meetings often as I have a certain amount of social anxiety, this will get me out of my comfort zone. I guess I'm sort of shopping around different meetings, and have noticed some potential sponsors, people who seemed to really know there stuff, anyways I'm rambling, it's early here and I'm still a little foggy, but I'm thinking about this. Thank you all for the idea's that mean so much to me.

Gottalife

One thing to keep in mind Dan, is that the meetings are not the program. It's the program that brings permanent recovery. All the best with your plan. Sounds good to me.

juancarlos66

Hi, how did you get the strength to do this. I know this is what I have to do but can't find the balls to do it...

FBL

I'd also suggest practicing daily gratitude. I make it a point to post each and every morning on the gratitude board here at SR...helps keep me focused on where I'm going and also helps me reflect on where I've been.

Berrybean

For me, it wasn't so much 'strength', as accepting the simple fact that it's the first one that does the damage. (Maybe not every single time, but it was like playing Russian Roulette.) It felt like admitting defeat was weak and a negative thing at the time, but actually along with surrender and acceptance came some freedom ( maybe this is what people talk about when they say about the 'pink cloud' phase some of us go through - not that I remember any pink cloud feeling for me, just washing machine head mostly). When I say 'freedom', I mean freedom from the insanity of trying to moderate, and trying to control my drinking (which, if I kept taking the first drink, was like trying to control the weather). Until I stopped all this, I didn't realise how much time and energy it too up.

Although I'd made a conscious decision to be sober, I still had the obsession to drink to deal with, and my AV rationalising with me that drink could be the answer to pretty much anything. I needed to start building up a bank of sober life skills - ways to deal with life, and emotions, sober. I found that the little AA book, Living Sober, was great for practical tips on dealing with things sober. And Monkey on my Shoulder was good for preparing me for all the delusional rationalisation that my AV (addictive voice) would start chucking at me. (Both available from Amazon, probably cheaper than a pint each).

I made use of this site (most days) and AA meetings; sponsorship; and the programme, and got myself a bit more used to asking for advice when I need it, or when I have conflicting thoughts (there was a lot of that in early sobriety - when I couldn't really recognise my AV for what it was ). A lot of it for me has been 'Monkey see, monkey do', but there needs to be willingness there in our part, because if we're still in that 'la la la la la I don't want to hear it' head-place, or that 'yes, but I'm different from every single other person who ever got sober' head-place, then we remain unteachable.

Good luck.

Gottalife

I read some recent research which showed 30% of serious problem drinkers will just decide to quite and can pull it off successfully.

Unfortunately I am not in that 30%. If you care to study the first 103 pages of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, it will give you precise directions on how we were able to achieve sobriety.

AA shoots much higher than mere abstinence however. For me, life without booze had always been a miserable experience. When it came to getting sober, neither drinking nor sobriety looked attractive. There was an additional "reward"component in the AA program that I did not know about. I ended up with a life far better than anything I could have imagined back then. Check it out.

OCDDan

I was just wondering why if we know something we like to do is going to turn out bad we keep doing it (drinking). Say if we like to drive a car with no hands, crash into a tree and have blood coming out of the head, that's a pretty good convincing that we shouldn't do that and we stop. So maybe just making a fool out of ourselves or worse isn't bad enough to convince us since there's no blood coming from the head? I feel extremely convinced about drinking being a bad thing so maybe that's the reason I'm temporarily not getting the cravings? In addition to all the good reasons to go to AA, maybe some people just need to be reminded more often to not drink? There must be something about alcohol, a good scientific reason for the brain to say it's ok to drink again. rambling.

BBQBOY

OCDDan, Yes , it is called the disease od Alcoholism!! This is why your brain says it is OK to drink.

Blacky

I am in a similar situation Dan. With the court and probation and such. The fear of consequences is working now. It was needed for me. In time though I realize that not following a plan will have me fail. It has after 3 or 4 years a few times in the past.

So I check in on this site daily and see no reason I need ever stop. That is one part of my plan. I also am not big on AA meetings but will be going as part of a requirement. I will take whatever help I can find but am also looking into the other options people have mentioned on this site for the time when I am not under the supervision of the court. That might be a long time but it will come one day and I have no intention of letting my guard down as I know what happens.

OCDDan

Thanks Blacky, i have about 2yrs 9months to go on probation, I'd be interested in hearing about your previous tries at sobriety and future plans. I started making a list last night of options but was too tired to finish.

slipped

I guess I was in the "lucky" 30% group that could just quit But I hope people don't think that because I could do it without AA or therapy or drugs it was easy- it definitely wasn't easy. I did have the help of this site. But, I still was miserable (mostly anxiety not cravings) of and on for 2 years. And it took many more than one try. It got so much easier as time past. I'm going on 7 years sober now.
You've done the hard work. .After all of this why would you want to drink?

Gottalife

Same answer as to post #29. Insanity.

Blacky

Well I did it in the past by just not drinking but it was usually after a run in with the law and courts. Those times I made it on average from 2 to 4 years. I then failed as I did not have a plan or any sort support.

Now I have a criminal record of 3 felonies all tied to getting money for drugs or alcohol or doing something under the influence along with all manner of lesser offenses like being drunk in public etc.

So the fear wears off for me and then at some point the AV gets to talking to me, or I let it in and then fail. Knowing this I have to have an ongoing plan. Right now I am in out patient treatment and also check in to this forum everyday. I realize I must go about things in a different manner.

I have a bit over a month sober at this time and feel good and am doing well but I am now starting to read some of the vast information on this site about plans and different methods for staying sober.

I realize this is something I can never be complacent about it is always going to be with me so I must always be vigilant.

I did not want to believe I needed any ongoing help in the past once I quit for an extended time. I thought " I got this " I was wrong.

So look around this site and see what might help you and hang in there, it does get better.

OCDDan

Hi, I just thought I'd post a list of ways that could help me stay sober, I still haven't figured out what it is that might help keep me sober beyond probation but at least I'm thinking about it. thanks for the help!

Work the steps and learn about yourself, get a sponsor, doing service work

Sign up to chair a meeting or help in Any AA activities.

Create a plan with your therapist

Reading, writing, and meditating a lot on spiritual topics.

Practicing daily gratitude.

Offering people rides if you have a car? If you don't drive, ask someone for a ride.

AVRT in the secular forums connection. Another option is SMART Recovery, Life Ring.

A structured plan that you can follow. have a couple of contingencies just in case.

Sobriety is much more than just "not drinking". It's about facing the issues of your life and finding ways to deal with them in a positive way.

Keep going to therapy buy a big book read it now and then each day do something that acknowledges you once had a problem and that helps you work towards staying sober.

Get involved with other social activities and interests that don't involve intoxication or reference to it.

Things which are "meaningful" to me, have significance to me in my life.
i need to have ways of dealing with increasing annoyances, irritations, failures, loneliness, and so on that don't let these build to a breaking point.

Build a lifestyle that rewards sobriety and punishes drinking, and C) remain in contact with the reality of your addiction.

Professionally positioning myself in a place where I need my full mental and physical capacity at all times.

Asking for advice.

Dee74

Have you looked at this link Dan?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D