Belgian

I'm on day 8 of sobriety.

When I'm able to keep busy (at work or when my wife is home or when my son is playful) I am able to avoid thoughts of drinking. But in just about every other quiet moment all I can do is think about drinking.

I think something that I am struggling with is the realization that when I was drinking.... I didn't have any "triggers" that would cause me to drink.

I drank every single day. And drank a LOT.

Had a rough day at work? Got drunk.
Had a great day at work? Got drunk.
Had car trouble? Got drunk.
Leased a brand new car? Got drunk.

I'm sure that everyone that has found their way to this site believes they have it worse than everyone else.... but at the moment I almost wish I had "triggers" to avoid.

I guess the only thing I have going for me as I stay sober is I anticipated going through absolute hell for the foreseeable future. So far, that is on track.

PurpleKnight

Is maybe one of your triggers boredom or a lack of activities/interests to keep you occupied?!!

For me when I stopped drinking I had a lot of time on my hands, because that's all I did with my time outside of work, so when I quit, that meant a lot of time on my own with my thoughts, my mind wanted to drink and so that was what I thought about.

Instead I needed to figure out what I now wanted to do with my life, new routines, new interests, even rekindle some old interests, carving out a new Sober lifestyle was more than simply not drinking, it was created a new life and the more I did that the more alcohol and the thoughts of alcohol were pushed aside!!

You can do this!! Great job on Day 8!!

Belgian

Thanks Purpleknight.

I suppose boredom can be considered a trigger, but part of my problem is that I foolishly let alcohol seep into so many aspects of my life (including any hobbies I had). A few years back I was into building bird feeders (and along with the woodwork was a beer or glass of wine). When I assembled the kids toy-kitchen I would take "breaks" and have a shot here and there.

After reading your post though, perhaps it's time to find some brand new things to do that I have never done before. This time with NO alcohol.

I suspect it may be a little easier when the weather changes. I'm in NY and it has been and will be completely frozen out for the foreseeable future.

Thanks again.

doggonecarl

When everything is a trigger, the only thing you have to "avoid" is drinking.

MariahGayle

Glad your here Belgian - You are among friends & will find much support & encouragement here.

Tamerua

Stay busy. I know that seems like stupid advice but drinking was something we all just did.
All the time.
So stay busy until it's not the first thing you think of anymore.

Della1968

I hear that about the weather. I read a lot this time of year. It does get easier and easier to not drink hang in there!

Soberwolf

Well done on day 8 belgian if you ever want to talk pm bud

Aellyce

I was like that, too, in the beginning, Belgian. I did have specific triggers but also just diffuse thoughts of drinking wherever I was. It's tough, but won't last forever. What helped me was starting to change just about everything I did, even my work style and duties. And I stayed at home as little as it was possible because I used to be a home drinker, and being there, plus being on the computer together was the biggest trigger of all. Or perhaps no trigger, just seemingly endless urges. (But it just feels that way, try to time it and observe!) I did not reduce my computer time much, but did it in very different ways and environments. New activities -- exercise was especially helpful given that I had not done any for at least two years prior. Eating a good and regular diet (often eating more than necessary, it helped reduce cravings a lot). I was on SR a lot. And honestly, when nothing else worked, I recall quite a few desperate spontaneous walks outside, sometimes late at night, sometimes in tears thinking there is no way I can do this over and over again. The first 2-3 months were the most difficult, then I remember pretty suddenly everything became much easier. The "stay busy" advice is excellent -- I know I could have done that better.

Yeah back then as far as I could see reading here on SR, many people did not seem to experience such bad, frequent and long-lasting cravings. I hope you will be one! Just think every day about what you can read here on SR from people with longer sobriety, and give yourself a leap of faith that it's true. It is true and it's so worth it. Hang in there

awuh1

I can relate Belgian. Towards the end I drank because I was awake.

At 8 days, I would imagine that your physical problems are mostly behind you. It does get better, but the nature of the problems you encounter going forward might seem somewhat usual. Finding solutions to them can sometimes seem challenging.

I think you'll find that the time period immediately ahead has its rewards as well.

Dee74

Like some others here, I drank for a multitude of reasons, and no reasons at all.
I drank all day everyday for 5 years of my life. Coming up to 8 years sober now

It's possible, no matter how you drank or how long for

The important thing is you've stopped and you're here Belgian.

D

least

You'll find lots of support here. I'm glad you joined us!

Belgian

Well said.... and a good way to look at it. Thank you.

Belgian

I am doing my best to not think about drinking.... it's tough because it is EVERYWHERE!!! To get out of the house (and to get my son out of the house) we took a trip to the convenience/card store to get some Valentine's Day cards for his school. Right there, stacked a mile high were cases of beer. (So tempting). Then behind the counter were the usual cast of cigarettes (trying to quit smoking as well). It's tough when it is everywhere.
Disclaimer: I'm not saying alcohol or tobacco shouldn't be sold, as other people shouldn't have to be inconvenienced due to my addictions.

Once the weather gets better I plan on spending much more time out, as home was my absolute favorite place to drink in excess. Which I suppose makes it a little difficult to alter my lifestyle since most of it happened at home.

Definitely started to try and eat better. After reading a lot of articles about what I had done to my body, I realize that as my body begins to feel better, my mind should follow. (I've noticed that I have a HUGE appetite lately since all the liquid calories I was used to have been cut off). I've also noticed that I have a huge sweet tooth nowadays.

I do a lot of reading here on SR and also on various places on the net. I realize how horrible this is about to make me sound but to be completely honest, I seem to gain a little strength and fortitude when I read about those who have it worse than me. For example, I ALMOST destroyed my marriage... and for whatever reason when I read about those who didn't stop until everything was lost.... it helps my resolve. Maybe I view those stories as cautionary tales. "There, but for the Grace of God go I." (I know, I'm not proud of that but again, just being candid).

Mikie9

I had to realize that I enjoy the things I did while drunk, they just don't take as long now So I had to find more things to occupy the same amount of time. I wish I had figured that out sooner. So much wasted time buzzing instead of accomplishing a goal, the buzz was the goal then. What I was doing was just "what I was doing" while catching a buzz. Makes me dizzy sometimes to think about, but it is what it is.

Being sober, all kinds of time opens up for us, we must learn to fill it or else drinking becomes the time filler.

MelindaFlowers

I also drank every single night, 365 days a year unless some crazy event kept me from it. I also drank at home. I can relate to every day as a trigger and coming home was a trigger.

I've been sober 7 months now. You can do this too.

Belgian

Isn't it strange that for most people a "crazy event" is when they would get drunk.... instead of a "crazy event" keeping us from drinking.

JeffreyAK

Distraction saved me from those times. Anything can work, but what I did when I was puttering at home and would otherwise have been drinking was, build model cars, airplanes, motorcycles, and space ships! Kept me focused on something, very detail oriented work.

gaffo

I hear that. No, it wasn't crazy to drive everywhere with a beer between my legs! It wasn't crazy to have a terrible hangover four or more times a week! The worst thing was that certain types of events would always involve getting hammered the night before. I am privileged to be a professional race car driver and I can't tell you how many times I strapped myself in with a hangover. Sometimes it was so bad that I would hope to lose so I wouldn't have to do it again! I would rather have a $2 beer than race for the win! No, that isn't crazy!

I too get strength from stories and TV shows of people who are/were worse off than me, like "Intervention". It's funny , though, I start to realize how bad I really was, much worse than I admitted to myself when I was a drunk even though I readily and almost proudly confessed my alcoholism.

Well eight days is a great start so just keep going. It will be hard for a while but you'll get used to it and then, before you really realize it, it won't be so hard. I thought I was going to lose my mind thinking about drinking for a while there. If I can offer any tip it would be to appreciate the good things, like driving your loved ones around without worrying about any drinking related foolishness, like not having a hangover and eating a good breakfast, like the not being annoyed/depressed/dreadful from drinking.

markz

No need for triggers at all.
Your common response to anything is to drink.
That is the way it is.
You are an alcoholic.
What do alcoholics do?
They drink!