It's time...i HAVE to quit!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by DoloresHaze 
You're right. It's a constant negotiation.
There is a committee in my head, bitterly debating my future.
On one side of the debate is ME. I want a happy sober life.
On the other side is MY ADDICTION. It wants to drink.
After just 25 short years of this daily debate I finally realized that every single thing that MY ADDICTION ever told me was a lie. All of it. Every word.
I no longer debate with the liar living in my head.
You can't negotiate with a liar. You can't train it. You can't educate it. Or shame it. Or threaten it. Or reason with it.
There are many many many things that YOU can do for YOU.
An addiction must be starved.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
There is NO negotiation. You drink, and if you are like me, you drink til you pass out, or you don't drink at all. Those are all of your options right there.
If you are to stop this pattern, you must quit alcohol, and that means all alcohol. It's over. This is not a trivial event, this is a life changer, and you are about to do something amazing.
If you are to stop this pattern, you must quit alcohol, and that means all alcohol. It's over. This is not a trivial event, this is a life changer, and you are about to do something amazing.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 342
Originally Posted by DoloresHaze
An other weird thing... My brother is an alcoholic and i worry about him. I have actually lectured him while I was buzzed myself. I don't know why i don't value myself and follow the same advice that I give him.
Today i'm going to try harder.
Today i'm going to try harder.
Don't want to sound like Yoda, but there really is no try, you either "do" or "do not" drink.
It may sound like semantics but try changing that sentence from "Today I'm going to try harder" to "today I wont drink full stop". Then try the same again tomorrow.
Hope this helps
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
I think it is important the stories we tell ourselves. Chasing moderation is exhausting. Today I tell myself that "I don't drink. Ever." And when that voice in my head wants me to revisit my stance on drinking, I refer to my i don't drink ever stance. I don't debate with that voice anymore.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 85
Hey Dolores,
I totally sympathize with you. 24 days ago I was feeling about like you do. Too much wine just about every night, and so sick of it. Sleepless nights, head achy mornings, and for what? That first 15-20 minutes relaxation when you have your first glass? What a waste. So I quit and I am so happy I did. No more headaches, I've been sleeping great, feel more alert, don't have to be ashamed about how much I drank, I could go on and on. At this point I can barely think of anything good about drinking. I was helped by a book that someone on this forum recommended, The Easy Way to Stop Drinking, by Allen Carr. He's a very funny writer who totally understands the demon that we call alcohol, and he points out in many ways just how ridiculous it is that so many of us are killing ourselves with alcohol. I read the book in just over a day and decided that was it. I made the decision to quit and now I don't drink. That's all. You can do the same thing. Maybe you might need some extra help from your doctor or from AA. For me I think I realized what was happening to me early enough that I was able to do it myself. This forum as been a big help for me too.
Best of luck to you. Your life can be so much better if you can just get out of the alcohol trap. You can do it!
I totally sympathize with you. 24 days ago I was feeling about like you do. Too much wine just about every night, and so sick of it. Sleepless nights, head achy mornings, and for what? That first 15-20 minutes relaxation when you have your first glass? What a waste. So I quit and I am so happy I did. No more headaches, I've been sleeping great, feel more alert, don't have to be ashamed about how much I drank, I could go on and on. At this point I can barely think of anything good about drinking. I was helped by a book that someone on this forum recommended, The Easy Way to Stop Drinking, by Allen Carr. He's a very funny writer who totally understands the demon that we call alcohol, and he points out in many ways just how ridiculous it is that so many of us are killing ourselves with alcohol. I read the book in just over a day and decided that was it. I made the decision to quit and now I don't drink. That's all. You can do the same thing. Maybe you might need some extra help from your doctor or from AA. For me I think I realized what was happening to me early enough that I was able to do it myself. This forum as been a big help for me too.
Best of luck to you. Your life can be so much better if you can just get out of the alcohol trap. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Austin, tx
Posts: 1
Originally Posted by DoloresHaze
Hello everyone...
I've had problems with alcohol for years, and I'll be the first to admit i never really put in an effort to quit.
It's starting to get ridiculous. Every night i get to the point where i lose control of my actions. I send stupid texts. I say stupid things to my husband. During my sober hours I strive to be a lady-like, in-control person. When I get drunk i am a mess. i'm starting to obsess about alcohol from the moment I wake up.
i don't have a plan, and I have no idea what to do. All I know is that this has to stop. I want alcohol out of my life. I just don't know what to do. It's the cause of my anxiety and yet it's also the cure.
I've had problems with alcohol for years, and I'll be the first to admit i never really put in an effort to quit.
It's starting to get ridiculous. Every night i get to the point where i lose control of my actions. I send stupid texts. I say stupid things to my husband. During my sober hours I strive to be a lady-like, in-control person. When I get drunk i am a mess. i'm starting to obsess about alcohol from the moment I wake up.
i don't have a plan, and I have no idea what to do. All I know is that this has to stop. I want alcohol out of my life. I just don't know what to do. It's the cause of my anxiety and yet it's also the cure.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,928
Originally Posted by DoloresHaze
Hello everyone...
I've had problems with alcohol for years, and I'll be the first to admit i never really put in an effort to quit.
It's starting to get ridiculous. Every night i get to the point where i lose control of my actions. I send stupid texts. I say stupid things to my husband. During my sober hours I strive to be a lady-like, in-control person. When I get drunk i am a mess. i'm starting to obsess about alcohol from the moment I wake up.
i don't have a plan, and I have no idea what to do. All I know is that this has to stop. I want alcohol out of my life. I just don't know what to do. It's the cause of my anxiety and yet it's also the cure.
I've had problems with alcohol for years, and I'll be the first to admit i never really put in an effort to quit.
It's starting to get ridiculous. Every night i get to the point where i lose control of my actions. I send stupid texts. I say stupid things to my husband. During my sober hours I strive to be a lady-like, in-control person. When I get drunk i am a mess. i'm starting to obsess about alcohol from the moment I wake up.
i don't have a plan, and I have no idea what to do. All I know is that this has to stop. I want alcohol out of my life. I just don't know what to do. It's the cause of my anxiety and yet it's also the cure.
If you are truly an alcoholic, moderation simply won't work. Having said that, going cold turkey could be problematic so involving your doctor in your plans for sobriety would probably be wise.
We are here for you, Dolores.
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