DoloresHaze

Hello everyone...

I've had problems with alcohol for years, and I'll be the first to admit i never really put in an effort to quit.

It's starting to get ridiculous. Every night i get to the point where i lose control of my actions. I send stupid texts. I say stupid things to my husband. During my sober hours I strive to be a lady-like, in-control person. When I get drunk i am a mess. i'm starting to obsess about alcohol from the moment I wake up.

i don't have a plan, and I have no idea what to do. All I know is that this has to stop. I want alcohol out of my life. I just don't know what to do. It's the cause of my anxiety and yet it's also the cure.

awuh1

First go to your doctor and tell him you want to quit, and then tell um EXACTLY how much you are drinking.
Second, I would recommend you go to an AA meeting, tell um its your first meeting and then listen very carefully.
That would be a good start.
All the best to you.

Nonsensical

No, but my addiction had me convinced of this for a while.

Would you take an aspirin that took your headache away for 6 hours and then gave you a headache for the next 100 days? Of course not. You'd find a better way to deal with the first headache.

Find a better way.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

doggonecarl

Can you look back over your last year of attempting and see where you have gone wrong? Then adjust accordingly?

Reading over your previous posts, you seem to drink as soon as the withdrawals and cravings hit. I don't know if you expected it to be easy, cause it isn't. At some point you have to force yourself through the discomfort...the same discomfort that EVERY SINGLE SOBER PERSON HERE HAS GONE THROUGH. So it can be done. You can do it. You can do it if you are truly ready to give up alcohol. Because you need total committment to quitting.

soberlife123

On man, me too! My anxiety disorder is SO much worse because of my alcohol abuse. Today is my first day too and I don't really have a plan, but sitting on sober recovery seems to be helping. A lot better then websites with cirrhosis symptoms!

soberlife123

@DoloresHaze how old are you? I'm 31

Ghostlight1

In my latter days of drinking I obsessed about drinking first thing in the morning, too.
It wasn't long before I was doing it. Shooters of whiskey at 8am. It gets even worse.
I agree to seeking the help of a medical professional. Withdrawal is serious.

Alcohol was the cause and cure for my anxiety, too. It worked well. Until I had to drink to stave off the anxiety.

Have you thought of AA? It works for many I highly recommend it.

Please go to the ER if things get worse, and don't take that first drink.

KateL

Welcome Dolores, or Lolly as we used to say in Spain xxxxx

DoloresHaze

I just turned 32 a few days ago. Maybe i should start acting like an adult, hmmm?

Nonsensical

I didn't drink long after I knew I had a problem and wanted to stop because I was immature. I continued to drink despite a desire to stop and persistent negative consequences because I was addicted to alcohol.

DoloresHaze

Yes, it's a matter of breaking the cycle. I was a light smoker (1-3 a day) for years, and i quit cold turkey 2 weeks ago. Quitting was something I meant to do for years, but it was just a matter of getting through the first few days. Maybe that's the approach i should take to stop drinking.

But i'm not a 1 or 2 a night drinker.

holburn

Depending how much you drink then you can taper it down. But I'd also speak to your doctor first. My doctor agreed with me that tapering for me was the answer. I drank a bottle of wine a night. When you say you send texts and say silly things, don't be so hard on yourself - we've all done things like that. That's when it's good to get a wake up call and decide to cut back or stop. I felt like you did and used to look at people and say "why don't they have a drinking problem?" and I felt very inadequate. But you are not a second class citizen and you've got into a habit with alcohol. You can stop or cut down if you want to so please don't be so hard on yourself.

DoloresHaze

Nonsensical..... so how did you stop? I feel like I need to be walked through this second by second.

freshstart57

You were saying you had no idea where to start? The statement above shows that this is not true. This is an excellent place to start.

Please see a Dr. The advice and support you will get is invaluable, and the fact of stating your intention to quit is also important.

Believe in yourself, in your ability to act like an adult, and demand nothing less of yourself. You will do this because you deserve a life without all that alcohol junk in it. If you demand it, you will get it.

DoloresHaze

This is how my day goes: I wake up hung over and say "today is the day!"
Around 1 or 2 I start thinking of having a drink or two. Sometimes i do, sometimes i don't.

I feel determined to just have a few glasses of wine in the evening.

Then my husband gets home and we get smashed.

Every. Single. Night. It's actually getting boring.

DoloresHaze

An other weird thing... My brother is an alcoholic and i worry about him. I have actually lectured him while I was buzzed myself. I don't know why i don't value myself and follow the same advice that I give him.

Today i'm going to try harder.

FishnHippy

Delores this will take a commitment from the both of you. It is not an easy road just remember you cant have a second drink if you don't have the first

freshstart57

So, Dolores, we need the ability of self examination to be successful in this. Look at what you just wrote and see if that matches up with what you want. If it doesn't, then you change it. Can you expect to stop drinking while continuing to drink?

doggonecarl

Here's your failure point. First, you think about drinking...not about not drinking. These aren't passing thoughts. You have every intention of drinking from this very momement, don't you?

Second, you think you'll drink one or two. You are giving yourself permission to drink because this time you'll control it, although you have no proof that you will be able to moderate. Here you are trying to make a deal with your addiction.

Third, because you've thought about it, because you've justified moderating, you are in no position to enforce your vow to quit that you made upon awakening. So you drink.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

Thinking about drinking doesn't have to lead to drinking. But deciding to drink always does.

DoloresHaze

You're right. It's a constant negotiation.