hiddenzebra

slipped. pretty hard.

still here. got a couple in me to keep the spiders away. felt a bit seizure-ish this morning. about to run out of beer (medicine now). can take care of that soon. should feel fortunate that I have those five bucks to buy more booze. not feeling very good tho. otherwise physically fit and attractive body is now like that of a 90 year old, well... maybe worse. everything hurts. just wanted to say hi.

Raider

What are you doing Hidden?

caboblanco

90 year old? exaggerating much? why don't you go to the er and get sorted out

Coldfusion

Good idea. That's what I needed when I was at your stage, and faced with the prospect of getting more booze.

Anna

I also hope that you will get medical help if you feel you need it.

hiddenzebra

I'm up for getting medical help, if needed. I even said that to my roommate.

I'm a firefighter/paramedic and basically broke, as we don't get paid much. I also know much more about the medical system than I should and don't even need to go there. It's a good system, I'll just leave it at that.

Me:

detoxing.
brain in overdrive.
I know I can do this, and I think I need to do it myself

Tetra

As someone who had two seizures as a result of my alcoholism, I also suggest getting medical help....it's not really something to mess around with.

Anyway, hope you feel better soon x

hiddenzebra

Hey I appreciate the comments (:

I've had seizures in the past, though I didn't know about it until someone else told me so...

I do remember though, just thought it was more bad dreams.

Hanging in there. Down to about 11 units today, that's half of baseline. Doing this at home might take a week or so and cost me a hundred bucks, but a week in the hospital would cost thousands. I'm not really in the mood to talk much about that, but will say I've got nothing against the people that go to the hospital. Gosh I could totally go for that right now, the thing is it costs a small fortune... and I'm one of the individuals that makes that so. I'd rather do it by myself, and I've said it before, but I kind of think I need to. If I seize to death (unlikely) or drown in my own vomit, that would be sad, but I'm ok with it.

The medical professionals around here aren't anything to brag about, in spite of being top-notch. Ugh. My stomach is doing somersaults and that's kind of freaking me out.

I can barely get chicken soup into me, let alone the (medicinal) beer. I've got complaints about everyone. What I need to do is calm down. Typing this takes ten times as much effort as usual, normally I can pound out 170wpm or so but now it's more like push a few letters and reach for the backspace.

Anyway, I'm about 3 days in. Just thought I'd add that.

Dee74

I took my health for granted.

I had several mini strokes detoxing at him like that HZ...

some things are more important than money.

D

hiddenzebra

hey mr Dee. it's nice to see a personal response from you. I appreciate that.

I've done some major research on alcohol, strokes, .. I've spent my life with that
I think I'm following the numbers fairly closely,

glad you are ok. glad everyone here's ok.

hiddenzebra

I've got the body of an Olympian yet lead the life of a rock star

Dee74

Yeah I'm ok - but I wish I had the body and health I used to have, HZ.

Go gently, Zeb.

D

hiddenzebra

doing what I can. Thank you

hiddenzebra

I can help you get into better shape, just let me know

Tamerua

I want to be in better shape!

If you feel wonky, please at least call one of your coworkers? My partner was EMT too.

Anyway, what is the recovery plan this time?

Dee74

I have a pretty full medical team HZ, but genuine thanks for the offer

D

hiddenzebra

co-workers can't help. it costs a hundred bucks to apply a bandaid. With a team of a dozen paramedics onboard, I'm not the only one who knows about ETOH (alcohol) but unfortunately I'm one of the few who actually knows what to do about it.

anyway it was 11 units yesterday, typing is still ridiculous but it's still good to post here on SR, even doing the one-finger-typing thing. slept a bit last night; bit of real sleep. no dreaming, whatever, but no hallucinations either, so that's a good thing.

here's how it went: wake up, drink half a gallon of water, meditate for a couple hours and eventually crawl out of bed. after some time (and couple units) I looked in the mirror and thought .. wow, I look fine. Not sure how I look like this, with all the invisible pain I've got in me. No one can see it, not even me!

Before that was all done something inside me decided it was time for drama and momentarily my entire body was shaking and muscles I didn't even know about were acting up. Retching and all that. Hadn't eaten anything for a while so nothing (literally) to clean up. Not sure what the dry retching was about. Going to try and eat today; I can fast for a couple weeks or so but food would help.

Hope that's not too dramatic. Hanging in there.

Anyway I'll be doing what I can to get through the day, and look forward to seeing how others are doing.

Mountainmanbob

if one is alcoholic ??

and continues to drink ??

the 100 year old body may be just around the corner ??

once we stop drinking -- if we do ??

amazing how much younger we feel in short time (most cases)

Mountainman

Dee74

All I can do is recommend again (to you and especially anyone reading who may be in a similar situation) that you see a Dr.

What you do with that recommendation is up to you, HZ.

D

hiddenzebra

I won't be going to the doctor unless I wake up there..
my body is aging much quicker than normal, I realize that and it saddens me.

tried sleeping last night, nothing. that's got me anxious.

sense of smell better; I've reduced the cigs a bit. thing is I haven't eaten or bathed in days and probably am not pleasant on the senses right now

whatever, I'm halfway through this. The spiders may show up again but at least I've got the seizures at bay.

erm btw if anyone is reading this, they really shouldn't be. I don't really know how else to put it.
Disclaimer: don't ever try this