CAPTAINZING2000

Let us know how that works for you.
Our drinking compounds pain it doesn't relieve it.
What part about drinking and losing your car seems like a logical thing to do?
I've never misplaced my car since, I've gotten sober.

ScottFromWI

Taking a break from getting sober would probably be the worst decision you could make at this point. Not only will the temporary relief become shorter and shorter, but the pain and problems related to the drinking will get worse and worse. And none of the underlying problems will ever go away, they will also get worse.

Just about all of us have underlying issues that we mistakenly thought drinking would cure. But the exact opposite is the reality. Once you get sober, you can begin to treat those issues, whatever they may be. But if you continue drinking it is 100% guaranteed things will become worse, not better. I really hope you decide to stay.

matt4x4

Well if we are playing games, then consider this game, theres a rope, your swinging from it off a 1000 foot cliff. Every time we go back out, we are cutting strands of this rope. You might come back and work the program, or the door closes and locks behind you. You may never see the inside of an AA room again, drinking yourself silly, still thinking and believing the lies you tell yourself. Going onto the miserable end. Or you can live a free life, happy and serence. Or become crippled, or inprisoned for the rest of your life.

Gal220

Been there. You're not unique. You know drinking's not going to help, otherwise you never would have tried to quit to begin with. I hope you reconsider. Your kids deserve a dad who is sober. Some days that is the only reason I stay sober during my bouts of depression. But it's enough. I hope you can get some help whatever you decide.

Turninganewleaf

I'm not all afraid of dying. I believe I have been in hell for a number of years. I will have to meet the only person who has the right to judge me and that is God. Not family, friends, SR members, Judges, doctors, ect....

least

Maybe you should ask God to help you stop drinking before something really awful happens.

Turninganewleaf

I look at it that things cannot get much worse. Alcohol has taken everything from me. The only thing I want is for people to feel sorry for me. But, no one ever does.

tomsteve

it can get worse. next time when ya lose yer car you can very well be sittin behind bars when ya wake up and find out ya killed someone.


why should people feel sorry for you? is that gonna help you stop drinking? has it in the past?

ScottFromWI

People feeling sorry for you isn't going to help anything. People being concerned about you and helping you do what it takes to get sober will make a difference. And that is exactly what literally dozens of people are doing here on SR - trying to help you realize that self pity will never get you anywhere.

We've all been where you are. We know it sucks. But we also know that the ONLY way to get better is to get off your pity pot and do something about it.

Aiko

That is ok!

You fall you get up!

Phone the police and ask if they can help you find the car!
Walk all the way from the pub to your house...!!!

Just start again... and think
what could you have done differently?
what triggered you to do it?
what can you do next time differently?

have to learn to handle situations so you do not fall.
is ok to make mistakes but learn from then...

Wish you the best in your recovery,
and It can be done do not dishearten!!!

Turninganewleaf

I believe the lack of compassion from others make a seem like a horrible person. After years of people ignoring or judging me on my progression through alcoholism I have concluded that I am worthless human being. Maybe if I'm diagnosed with cancer than at least I can go on disability. I would get some pretty strong pain meds as well.

CupofJoe

I do feel sorry that you're struggling. We've all been there.

But self pity never helped me and I doubt it'll help you. It just made me more depressed and made me feel more stuck, like I was a loser and was never going to change. I found that once I sobered up and started acting differently, changing from the inside out, people responded differently.

Respect feels a whole lot better than pity, you know?

There are countless alcoholics who have been in your position (similar, if not identical), who have been able to move on and are pretty happy. I have no doubt that you can, too, if you're willing to work at it with everything you have and be patient. Change doesn't take place overnight, but it does happen bit by bit.

Take care.

Edit: PS You're not worthless. You can get better. But you have to be the one who wants it and will work for it. There are so many people on this forum pulling for you.

KissMyTiara

Pretty sad statement for someone that had two kids. You don't think they don't care?

Turninganewleaf

I have very little contact with them. Thank you for pointing that out. You help me greatly.

Jade1224

I would want to stop drinking so people DON'T feel sorry for me. Does the alcohol have anything to do with you not being able to see your kids? Maybe they just want a sober father. You should give it a try

Turninganewleaf

Yes, alcohol has a lot to do with it. Although my 16year old son is currently in a juvenile detention center.

newhope01

That's not true. If you were a total failure you would have already given up but you posting here shows that you haven't. Keep fighting like you have been and tie some more sober days under your belt again. You didn't fail, you just stumbled and now its time to get back up.

I would start by pouring out that beer and calling someone from AA.

Jade1224

You should go see him. He might need some support too

newhope01

I think your depression has a strong hold on you as a result of your recent lapse. I too recently lapsed and have found myself aimlessly driving around and crying all day. I know how awful it is to cope with depression, the hopelessness you may feel.

I live for my cat and I found out his kidneys are failing. Every time my mind wanders to booze I realize how absolutely more terrible my depression will become. As awful as it is now I know booze will somehow make the way I feel even worse.

Seems like the only solution for me is to avoid alcohol.. May be a good solution for you too. I have found some of your posts on here very helpful in my sobriety and hope you stay here on the boards, even if you decide to drink again.

Turninganewleaf

newhope, thank you so much. I find that there is a sense of being "politically correct" on this forum. However, I know that I belong because I get PM's who seem to understand me. Alcoholism takes many different forms and some who abuse booze do not have the mental disorders.