huntingtontx

Failure is giving up. Don't give up, you can do this.

Gal220

This was my number one lie I told myself when drinking; I posted about it in that thread. It's not true, and it's really an excuse to keep drinking. I'm sorry you are feeling so down. When I was drinking, I wanted to wait to stop drinking until I felt better and became a better person. I discovered it works the other way around. I had to take the action to stop drinking, even though it was the last thing I wanted. Then in sobriety I began to build a better life.

Turninganewleaf

I suffer from real depression. The fact is I feel better when I drink. I know this comes with a high price though. I just wanted some relief from my horrible life.

Dan Dare

I remember once I rode my bicycle to the bar and ended up having to leave it there because I was too blasted to ride it home.
I thought it was stolen when I didn't see it in the garage the next morning.
Picking up that beer means you haven't convinced yourself that you want to stop.
You have to want it and believe it. That's first.
The choice is yours. You can do it just like so many here have.
Good luck...

Turninganewleaf

I feel like a piece of garbage. If it wasn't for my 2 kids I think I would of ended it a long time ago. I should apologize to the board because the last few day I have been acting like a big shot. My skin is crawling and I have not been able to eat anything. I didn't hit the bottle today at least.

Gal220

Many of us, me included, have been there. I think you know drinking does nothing to improve clinical depression. Things can get better, but I understand feeling hopeless. Depression skews reality. What I feel when I'm depressed is not reality; I've been there and come out on the other side many, many times. You can do this. Your kids are enough of a reason, even if you can't do it for yourself right now.

silentrun

I saw your post before you drank. You got into that mindset. Screw it I am going to drink and nothing is going to stop me.I got into it to right before the 3 month mark. It happened once and it has not happened again. I physically couldn't pull off getting drunk. Don't let this derail you. You are still recovering. Learn from it. It does not need to happen again. Next time you will see it coming.

MamaGoat

At least!? You accomplished 24 hours and that is all you need to do. One day at a time! Hopefully you will be able to eat tomorrow. Maybe just some toast and soup? You will feel better if you eat
((((hugs))))

Turninganewleaf

I will be giving the beer I bought to a friend. I wanted to drink today but my body just wouldn't let me. I'm glad I lost my keys so I couldn't drive home from Georges Bar. It's a very rough bar and I think I almost got into a fight with a patron. I spent $50 on booze and two $50 parking tickets. My mother asked me why I came home at 3AM. If I get caught drinking, I will be homeless.

Kaneda8888

TNL, its really important that you dont beat yourself up about your drinking. You have an addiction that you succumbed to. Stop the press !! Kidding aside, you must not give up on yourself. The fact that you are here means that you want to stop drinking. That is already an achievement (85-90% of alcohol abusers do not recognize they have a problem). Show compassion to that person in the mirror, forgiveness is key to recovery. Stay close, stay strong !

Birdygirl

No, don't give up. You have to believe that you can make a change.

Carlotta

No you are not. You are an alcoholic and you cannot drink safely. Until you accept it, you will be struggling. Dump the beer, call someone in AA and get back on the saddle and give working those steps your best shot.
I also would suggest that you read about AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique) so next time that nasty little voice in your head starts telling you why drinking makes sense you'll be able to recognize it for what it is and deal with it accordingly.
Don't give up on yourself.

Carlotta

PS: I was re reading some of your posts and it seems like you go to a lot of speakers and conversation meetings. Try to find a step meeting with people who actually work and apply the steps in their daily life and see what happens.
The steps are the programs, fellowshiping is nice and keep some sober but others really need to get stepping. Give it an earnest shot, maybe the steps and even AA are not for you but what do you have to lose?

Mountainmanbob

might have saved you from a DUI

be grateful - you found it with a slight ticket or two

Mountainman

Pipping

I drank to fix my depression and it used to work for me but over time my tolerance increased and I would either be blackout drunk or very hungover. A good bit of time away from alcohol will allow your mood to stabilise and your depression should improve. I am glad you found your car.xx

CAPTAINZING2000

When, I was in trouble I was making collect calls from jail.
Losing a car is one of the many benefits that go along with drinking to excess.
On a serious note, be thankful you didn't drive away last and kill yourself an innocent people.

tomsteve

" suffer from real depression. The fact is I feel better when I drink. I know this comes with a high price though. I just wanted some relief from my horrible life. "

theres quite a few alcoholics here that suffer from depression. one thing I learned was that the great depressant,alcohol, wasn't very good at helping it.
im glad ya want relief from it an and hope this experience has shown ya that drinking doesn't help. there is a solution, but it aint drinking.

" I should apologize to the board because the last few day I have been acting like a big shot."

this experience could be a great thing for ya. it could be what smashes the pride and ego and allows ya to get some humility and open your mind to what others have to say about alcoholism instead of fighting people who have different views than yours-people with sober time under their belt- and learn from them.

1st thing 1st-
do you want to stop drinking?
are you willing to go to any lengths?

IOAA2

Hi. I was a lot like you when I first went to AA. I went to meetings, liked them, isolated and drank. People said I wanted to drink more than I wanted to get sober. Then one day I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of the same old same old. At that point I got INTO rather than being around AA. That included many, many meetings, getting active and involved. I followed suggestions of the old timers and did not drink even if I wanted to. That involved picking up that 25# phone and asking for help and suggestions about another dilemma I had.
That was many years ago and it still works today IF I work it!

BE WELL

gaffo

Once I got some sobriety going I realized that depression and alcohol are a terrible mix. Really. I used to be on the fence and say that it did this or that or whatever smoke I was blowing up my own a** that month but really dealing with depression is worth it and requires not drinking. No meds that I know of are developed for use with alcohol.

Turninganewleaf

I may be taking a break from here. Lots of people are asking me if I really want to stop drinking? The truth is I just want the emotional pain to stop. If drinking makes that go away (however temporarily) than I may continue.