1- shot of crown on christmas .
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
When I used to smoke,I smoked 4 packs a day. When at work whenever something came up that required a decision,it also required a cigarette.
Nowdays everyplace around here makes you go outside to smoke. If they catch someone smoking inside,they get fired.
My point is,if i was still a smoker. Yea,I could hold down a job. But I would be miserable most of the day,because inside I would be having a nicotine fit.
I would also have been the same way if something was preventing me from getting drunk at 5 oclock like I used to.
If I don't quit either one altogether and have less than my "quota" I am NOT a happy camper.
And Karate,I think whether you know it or not. You really wanted to drink more than one shot,or you wouldn't be on an alcoholic forum talking about it.
PEACE Fred
Nowdays everyplace around here makes you go outside to smoke. If they catch someone smoking inside,they get fired.
My point is,if i was still a smoker. Yea,I could hold down a job. But I would be miserable most of the day,because inside I would be having a nicotine fit.
I would also have been the same way if something was preventing me from getting drunk at 5 oclock like I used to.
If I don't quit either one altogether and have less than my "quota" I am NOT a happy camper.
And Karate,I think whether you know it or not. You really wanted to drink more than one shot,or you wouldn't be on an alcoholic forum talking about it.
PEACE Fred
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 110
Originally Posted by Turninganewleaf 
You fell off the wagon. Plain and simple. Your post could also tempt fellow sober members into having just one tiny little shot.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by quitter13
I understand why some people feel this way but ultimately aren't we all responsible for our own actions. if I go out and drink I don't think it would be fair to blame some body on a forum for post in that they had one shot and we're fine. if I drink again it's my fault and my problem. I can't blame Jim Beam for making whiskey if I drink and I can't blame other drinkers. I don't want to drink, it doesn't work for me so I will not drink
Quitter, I agree with your statement. That said, I see Sober Recovery, as a support site. And, although many of the replies to the OP can be seen as support for a sober recovery, I do not see the OP as being the least bit supportive.
Sure, not every post on SR needs or should be about support. But, starting a thread about having a drink (no matter how much it was) on Christmas, seems to completely fly in the face of what this very web site is all about.
Just my thoughts, that's it, nothing more.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by quitter13
I understand why some people feel this way but ultimately aren't we all responsible for our own actions. if I go out and drink I don't think it would be fair to blame some body on a forum for post in that they had one shot and we're fine.
Will a post/thread get anybody back to drinking all on its own? I doubt it will. This doesn't mean its okay to post about having a shot, calling it sobriety, being okay with whatever people may say, and then wishing others wellness.
Support happens in a healthy community by design and not by mere happenchance. When posters post that taking a shot is not a threat to sobriety, it isn't surprising it gains some detailed attention.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
sober.
i looked that word up about a year after quitting drinking.
and yeah, one definition is "not being intoxicated".
so sure, it's correct according to the dictionary.
but on a recovery site?
there's always lots of discussion whether sobriety and abstinence are the same, and never the twain shall meet.
however, seems to me that on a recovery site "sobriety" most certainly doesn't get defined as not being intoxicated.
Karate, you went and drank. i don't care about that, really. what i care about much more is the stories we tell ourselves when we go back to it.
stories about control, about what's alright with us, about what matters, about what counts and what doesn't.
and about why we tell ourselves those particular stories.
i looked that word up about a year after quitting drinking.
and yeah, one definition is "not being intoxicated".
so sure, it's correct according to the dictionary.
but on a recovery site?
there's always lots of discussion whether sobriety and abstinence are the same, and never the twain shall meet.
however, seems to me that on a recovery site "sobriety" most certainly doesn't get defined as not being intoxicated.
Karate, you went and drank. i don't care about that, really. what i care about much more is the stories we tell ourselves when we go back to it.
stories about control, about what's alright with us, about what matters, about what counts and what doesn't.
and about why we tell ourselves those particular stories.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
I have never met nor has it ever been my experience that an alcoholic can control their drinking. Having 1 shot and stopping is in my opinion impossible if ur an alcoholic. I think it is foolish to even start a thread like this. Its nonsense. And it could be dangerous to thos who still think they can control it. If we as alcoholics could control our drinking then we would not be alcoholics.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
SR is made up of all kinds of drinkers Wayne.
If you read my post above I could (sometimes) limit myself to one shot...and I used those few times to convince myself I wasn't an alcoholic, for years.
If anyone wants to think I'm not an alcoholic thats fine, but the truth was my drinking nearly killed me.
I think we get into dangerous waters when we tell people they're alcoholic or not.
as far as posters drinking and their posts being dangerous - I think if that were really true we'd have to shut down the entire Newcomers forum.
You will always find people using or drinking on a recovery site. It's why we're here
I credit the SR members with a little intelligence... and the ability to discern good advice and good role models here
D
If you read my post above I could (sometimes) limit myself to one shot...and I used those few times to convince myself I wasn't an alcoholic, for years.
If anyone wants to think I'm not an alcoholic thats fine, but the truth was my drinking nearly killed me.
I think we get into dangerous waters when we tell people they're alcoholic or not.
as far as posters drinking and their posts being dangerous - I think if that were really true we'd have to shut down the entire Newcomers forum.
You will always find people using or drinking on a recovery site. It's why we're here
I credit the SR members with a little intelligence... and the ability to discern good advice and good role models here
D
Pure Radio Rental
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Off course, of course.
Posts: 952
For me,
It comes down to all
Or nothing.
I go for all, eventually I'm gonna lose. Just a matter of time.
I go for nothing, and I seem to wind up the better for it.
That's a win in my opinion, and I'm trying to maintain a winning streak.
My win loss column is pretty abysmal at this point. Want to change that.
Peace all.
D.D.
It comes down to all
Or nothing.
I go for all, eventually I'm gonna lose. Just a matter of time.
I go for nothing, and I seem to wind up the better for it.
That's a win in my opinion, and I'm trying to maintain a winning streak.
My win loss column is pretty abysmal at this point. Want to change that.
Peace all.
D.D.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by waynetheking
I have never met nor has it ever been my experience that an alcoholic can control their drinking. Having 1 shot and stopping is in my opinion impossible if ur an alcoholic. I think it is foolish to even start a thread like this. Its nonsense. And it could be dangerous to thos who still think they can control it. If we as alcoholics could control our drinking then we would not be alcoholics.
For me, drinking was both my solution and my problem. Now of course, staying quit is my solution and not my problem, lol. I'm a recovered alcoholic now.
There are as many variations of alcoholics as there are people, imo. It takes all kinds. Keeping an open mind to others experiences is a good practice to embrace.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
I could be wrong...but when someone comes to a forum that has a clear aim towards recovery, and goes to the trouble of actually starting a thread to pronounce his ease of having just one drink on Christmas Day. I mean, seriously.
What is the aim? To convince us or yourself you aren't an alcoholic?
If you aren't an alcoholic, that's great. But honestly, it's a little mean-spirited and not in the support theme of the site as another poster said.
Or, are you looking for support and trying to elicit it through controversial statements that you know will get a rise?
I'm taking the fact that you have not returned to this thread, yet have posted elsewhere many times since starting this thread seems to convey you care little for what harm your posts may do.
What is the aim? To convince us or yourself you aren't an alcoholic?
If you aren't an alcoholic, that's great. But honestly, it's a little mean-spirited and not in the support theme of the site as another poster said.
Or, are you looking for support and trying to elicit it through controversial statements that you know will get a rise?
I'm taking the fact that you have not returned to this thread, yet have posted elsewhere many times since starting this thread seems to convey you care little for what harm your posts may do.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Originally Posted by waynetheking
I have never met nor has it ever been my experience that an alcoholic can control their drinking. Having 1 shot and stopping is in my opinion impossible if ur an alcoholic. I think it is foolish to even start a thread like this. Its nonsense. And it could be dangerous to thos who still think they can control it. If we as alcoholics could control our drinking then we would not be alcoholics.
This post makes me wonder if bender type drinkers aren't just that rare that many AA members just never heard of them. I was this type of drinker, I could go long periods of time between benders and drink normally for brief periods if I had to.
I was hospatilised in 1990 after a very bad bender lasting a few weeks. My cardiac ejection fraction was listed at between 4 to 14 percent. I was more dead than alive, I was later told that the organ donation team had been notified as they didn't think I would make it. (I was an organ donor).
On a bender I could easly drink a half gallon of vodka a day. I would drink until I was too sick to drink any longer, go thru horrific withdrawals often with audio and visual hallucinations then clean up my act for a while. After a period of time I would repeat the same thing all over again.
Maybe because I could stop for periods of time or drink normally for brief periods I did not meet the AA definition of a "Real Alcoholic". You could be right.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne
This post makes me wonder if bender type drinkers aren't just that rare that many AA members just never heard of them. I was this type of drinker, I could go long periods of time between benders and drink normally for brief periods if I had to.
I was hospatilised in 1990 after a very bad bender lasting a few weeks. My cardiac ejection fraction was listed at between 4 to 14 percent. I was more dead than alive, I was later told that the organ donation team had been notified as they didn't think I would make it. (I was an organ donor).
On a bender I could easly drink a half gallon of vodka a day. I would drink until I was too sick to drink any longer, go thru horrific withdrawals often with audio and visual hallucinations then clean up my act for a while. After a period of time I would repeat the same thing all over again.
Maybe because I could stop for periods of time or drink normally for brief periods I did not meet the AA definition of a "Real Alcoholic". You could be right.
I was hospatilised in 1990 after a very bad bender lasting a few weeks. My cardiac ejection fraction was listed at between 4 to 14 percent. I was more dead than alive, I was later told that the organ donation team had been notified as they didn't think I would make it. (I was an organ donor).
On a bender I could easly drink a half gallon of vodka a day. I would drink until I was too sick to drink any longer, go thru horrific withdrawals often with audio and visual hallucinations then clean up my act for a while. After a period of time I would repeat the same thing all over again.
Maybe because I could stop for periods of time or drink normally for brief periods I did not meet the AA definition of a "Real Alcoholic". You could be right.
There are 40 stories now in the Big Book that people can relate to better - I did. In particular for high bottom quits or first time quits I found the "real" alcoholic definitions to be more damaging than good actually, even though I understand the logic in the book.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne
This post makes me wonder if bender type drinkers aren't just that rare that many AA members just never heard of them. I was this type of drinker, I could go long periods of time between benders and drink normally for brief periods if I had to.
I was hospatilised in 1990 after a very bad bender lasting a few weeks. My cardiac ejection fraction was listed at between 4 to 14 percent. I was more dead than alive, I was later told that the organ donation team had been notified as they didn't think I would make it. (I was an organ donor).
On a bender I could easly drink a half gallon of vodka a day. I would drink until I was too sick to drink any longer, go thru horrific withdrawals often with audio and visual hallucinations then clean up my act for a while. After a period of time I would repeat the same thing all over again.
Maybe because I could stop for periods of time or drink normally for brief periods I did not meet the AA definition of a "Real Alcoholic". You could be right.
I was hospatilised in 1990 after a very bad bender lasting a few weeks. My cardiac ejection fraction was listed at between 4 to 14 percent. I was more dead than alive, I was later told that the organ donation team had been notified as they didn't think I would make it. (I was an organ donor).
On a bender I could easly drink a half gallon of vodka a day. I would drink until I was too sick to drink any longer, go thru horrific withdrawals often with audio and visual hallucinations then clean up my act for a while. After a period of time I would repeat the same thing all over again.
Maybe because I could stop for periods of time or drink normally for brief periods I did not meet the AA definition of a "Real Alcoholic". You could be right.
During those benders, you would not/could not quit until you were too sick to continue. Obviously that is not a normal socialized drinking experience. All too often alcoholics compare themselves to social circumstances and they speak of social drinkers controlling their drinking. Social drinkers don't use control styles over their drinking - they don't have too - since starting and stopping is easily done at all and any time they may choose.
Controlled drinking doesn't work, and it doesn't work for everybody, not just alcoholics, lol. Its fascinating to me how so many people talk about quitting, and yet most fail at quitting when they use control methods. I failed too - but I don't go around saying that controlled drinking done successfully means a person is not an alcoholic.
Its the alcoholics who started the whole idea of controlled drinking, imo. Social drinkers have absolutely no need to control their drinking. Controlled drinking has been served up as a way out of alcoholic drinking. Of course if controlled drinking really worked, alcoholics wouldn't exist as described in the AA BigBook.
Controlled drinking is just another failure for alcoholics looking for any way possible to justify their drinking. My posting this won't change anybody's views, lol. Alcoholics hardly listen to themselves from their own experiences let alone from other people. Is it any wonder why the success rate for quitting and sustaining that quit for having a better life is so dismal?
I'm not at all surprised that a guy saying he had a shot of whiskey eventually kicks off a talk about what is and is not a " real alcoholic" - not surprised yeah, but I am sadden that we all know that some of the contributors to this thread are not going to stay drink free. Eventually they too will be having that beer, or that wine, or that shot. Its just the way the numbers breakdown for, dare I say it - alcoholics and problem drinkers.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
I absolutely disagree that Karate's original post was mean-spirited. He came to get this thoughts out on drinking. Recovery is a process, and if someone with a drinking problem can't post in the Alcoholism forum, where "should" they? I think it's unfair to assume that he was "bragging" or anything of the sort. Maybe this is Karate's way of reaching out for help.
I'm not trying to sound self-righteous and those who called Karate out on being in denial about his drinking made very valid points. Recovery can be an ugly, difficult, heartwrenching business, as we all know. If a post about taking a shot "drives" somebody to drink, their commitment to sobriety was not very strong to begin with.
A little compassion goes a long way. Just my opinion.
I'm not trying to sound self-righteous and those who called Karate out on being in denial about his drinking made very valid points. Recovery can be an ugly, difficult, heartwrenching business, as we all know. If a post about taking a shot "drives" somebody to drink, their commitment to sobriety was not very strong to begin with.
A little compassion goes a long way. Just my opinion.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by readerbaby71
A little compassion goes a long way. Just my opinion.
When a guy posts he drank, and that's okay with him, because he believes he is still sober because he didn't get drunk immediately, that will always earn some detailed attention, of course. This is a well behaved thread, all things considered.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I'm with Readerbaby,
I don't think karate came here to rub our noses in it. I've seen that type of thing before, and his post didn't have the same ring to it. I think it was a subconscious cry for help, to be honest. And the thread seems to have taken on a bigger debate...
In regards to the OP: Karate, you don't drink. Remember? You can't be doing this kind of thing. Kudos to you for coming clean. Now let's think about why you did it, and how you can stop this kind of thing from happening in the future. Good luck you you moving forward.
I don't think karate came here to rub our noses in it. I've seen that type of thing before, and his post didn't have the same ring to it. I think it was a subconscious cry for help, to be honest. And the thread seems to have taken on a bigger debate...
In regards to the OP: Karate, you don't drink. Remember? You can't be doing this kind of thing. Kudos to you for coming clean. Now let's think about why you did it, and how you can stop this kind of thing from happening in the future. Good luck you you moving forward.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
I think the energy generated on this thread is because the original post seemed as if it was written by Karate's AV. I certainly recognized that swagger….I identify with the alter ego. I think when we know we have a problem the only way we keep drinking is to let that part of ourselves take over.
Karate, this format is hard because it is like we are talking at you and around you. But I think a lot of us are addressing the alcoholic within you….we recognize it and we understand the seriousness of how powerful and dangerous that element it. I have watched your struggle over time, watched you vacillate in your identity as to whether or not you have a problem.
I think your original post causes a stir because it is a very pronounced statement of denial, and other members who care don't want to be enabling cheerleaders, but posters also don't want to be the sobriety police.
My guess is posting here is like Karate asking other SR members to help corral his AV…it seems as if there are almost two identities wrestling for control and Karate I hope you take the reins back.
Karate, this format is hard because it is like we are talking at you and around you. But I think a lot of us are addressing the alcoholic within you….we recognize it and we understand the seriousness of how powerful and dangerous that element it. I have watched your struggle over time, watched you vacillate in your identity as to whether or not you have a problem.
I think your original post causes a stir because it is a very pronounced statement of denial, and other members who care don't want to be enabling cheerleaders, but posters also don't want to be the sobriety police.
My guess is posting here is like Karate asking other SR members to help corral his AV…it seems as if there are almost two identities wrestling for control and Karate I hope you take the reins back.
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