Turninganewleaf

You fell off the wagon. Plain and simple. Your post could also tempt fellow sober members into having just one tiny little shot.

Carlotta

It's on you Karate. I just think that coming to an alcoholism website and bragging about being able to have one drink is callous and mean spirited. There are some struggling newcomers here it's like if I went on the Overeater Anonymous website and told the people there about the slice of chocolate cake I had for Christmas.
Not nice and uncalled for.

sunrise1

As far as I know, "moderation" is not supported here.

I try and stay out of controversial threads, but while you maintain you are still "sober", it comes across to me as a bit of a brag even.

I hope this post is locked or removed.

jdooner

Before calling out the OP - I believe there is value in his post. BTW - This is not in the Newcomers section either.

It is my opinion that he is posting because he wants affirmation that he did not do anything wrong and his sobriety is in tact. I think it is clear from the posts that it is the opinion of others here he is on a slippery slope.

I personally could see myself in his denial. I also think threads like this are helpful, particularly for those of us in several months of recovery to see the thought process of those early days.

Karate - I hope you can be honest with yourself and don't tumble down the slope of moderation - I never really tried it though, I just did not see the point. I always drank and used to get drunk or high, so I saw anything else as a failure in that quest.

jat14

I could not agree with you more... I stopped going to a relapse prevention group for this very reason.. I did not feel safe there anymore because this guy would show up every week and say Oh I just had a toke or I had beer, but my drug of choice is crack so it's ok for me to drink.. and the counselors would never really do anything and I would get anxious every time I went knowing I'd hear stories from people supposedly in recovery still using.

deeker

Amen to that, recovery starts with self honesty for me, I had 10 months once. If days were that important to me I wouldn't have relapsed. I
would have been only fooling myself to say that 6 hr slip didn't count.

At how many slips do you draw the line? 1,2,3? I started again and will have 1 yr tomorrow the honest way.

jaynie04

It seems to me the OP is locked in a personal struggle, and has given us a window on it. "sobriety" and "consumption" are mutually exclusive. I am not offended by the post, but I think what is coming through is how less relevant the amount someone drink versus the amount of space drinking/not drinking/alcoholic/not alcoholic/reverse alcoholic……I think it demonstrates the power of alcohol on some of us. And I think someone can not drink or moderate and still be consumed by alcohol.

Karate, I am not sure if you are here for some sort of affirmation that playing dodgeball is safe. From what I am hearing alcohol seems to have a front row seat in your conscience, I've been there.

I imagine you understood that your post would elicit a reaction here. And I guess my question is what was your endgame? I don't think it was to torture us (and in all honesty I think a lot of us remember what it was like to be stuck in that place), I think you are grappling with your own demons. You don't need our absolution, but for most of us sobriety is an all or none proposition. It is exactly that first drink that has led to lost lives, marriages, jobs.. and a lot of pain for a lot of people. It is so much more peaceful to move on from something that is obviously draining you of so much mental energy.

I am commenting because you posted here and I am assuming because of that you wanted feedback. I hope you find the peace you deserve.

RobbyRobot

You can call it whatever you want. I call it justifying yourself to keep your moderated/controlled drinking game going. My share is not about disputing you, its about you posting your ideas of sobriety on a sober recovery forum while haven taken a shot of whiskey and then saying your okay and hoping everyone is doing well.

Seriously?

Grungehead

I have never drank hard alcohol for the taste, drinking one shot of whiskey does not compute in my brain.

foolsgold66

I'm FG, I'm an alcoholic.

0 shots of crown on Christmas. I'm sober.

huntingtontx

I just don't understand why you would come on a site where we are trying to stay sober and say it is okay to have a drink. It is not okay for me and probably not for most on here. I really don't understand the point.

suki44883

To me, continuing to look at alcohol as a pleasure and something you are depriving yourself of is dangerous. Deciding to take one shot of whiskey sounds like something you felt entitled to. There is nothing about alcohol that is good and to an alcoholic, it can be deadly.

I'm happy that you were able to stop at one, but don't delude yourself that the one shot was something you deserved. You may very well have only dodged a bullet. This time.

Threshold

I control my intake of booze too. I don't drink. Ta da!

I find that much easier to do when I have not ingested mind altering chemicals that remove my inhibitions towards stupid misguided behavior.

Not drinking, ever, anything, period is the best, sure fire, easiest way for me to be, stay and live sober. I AM that type of alcoholic.

I HAVE to share this story...maybe it will make someone out there smile. I met a guy last year, and he often told me, feeling very sorry for himself, but also very proud, that he has not has sex for 3 and a half years! Even though his wife had left their marriage bed, he had not cheated, etc etc..

At this point they were separated pending divorce.

Then he began to share a story here and there of various sexual encounters and I said "um...wait, didn't you tell me that you haven't had sex for over 3 and a half years?"

"well, it was only physical, there was no emotional attachment involved...so it didn't count."

I guess we all define sober, abstinent and sex differently ( I did NOT have sex with that woman....)

Sudz No More

You define yourself as still sober and if you like to believe that than great for you. I used to rationalize the same thing when I decided to have that just one 24 oz. 5.6% ice beer. Got a nice buzz cause I chugged it but hey it was only one beer. Just a heck of a big beer but who is counting, it was only one.

If you want to moderate do what you think is best for you but I don't think too many here will support your decision. The last time I checked this website was for nondrinkers but of course you can come here for support if your desire is to be completely sober but still are drinking. Saying you are still drinking and ok with it, well that is for another website.

Dee74

Hi Karate -

You've been here for a while.

I'm gonna lay it out - I think you can take it.

People with no problem don't hang around SR.
People who really do 'run their consumption' don't need a support group to stop drinking.

These latest posts of yours are kinda in your face and pugnacious - but I've seen others (ones I think which are more honest) where you agree it's a real chore to try and remain a controlled drinker.

I tried for twenty years to be a normal drinker. I never made it. Others here have tried and failed too - others with more stubborness and brain power than I have.

You need to decide which side of the fence you want to be on: you can be in recovery, or you can drink - but you can't do both.

That's not opinion, it's fact.
It's oil and water man.

One shot does matter - not getting drunk matters too.

my experience:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3173701

D

alphaomega

Karate - I have seen a few of these posts from you. One that comes to mind is that you drank a few beers with your sons a few times and you were fine, another was after you got of the tractor.

But then I also see posts from you that "the poison is making you an insomniac".

You seem to be really struggling. And for that my heart goes out to you. Its a damn exhausting job trying to moderate drinking when you truly in your heart believe you have a problem. God knows, I tried for a decade. See ? I would tell myself, I only drank one bottle, or one glass, or once this week. I must not have a problem.

But if you are feeling the need to come here and confess your sins, you might want to reevaluate why it is that you need to do that. I am not triggered by your post because one shot of anything to my alcoholic brain would actually be torturous. It makes me feel like an out of control rabid dog willing to go to any length to get more, more, more. I am best off completely away from the sh1t. It serves no purpose otherwise but to open the flood gates.

You either are or your not.

And only you can answer that.

But you ain't gonna convince me that that is safe territory. It's treacherous and dangerous to most of us here.

soberhawk

I am pretty sure I could drink a beer and say that is it. This was one beer and I am not taking an other. I could do that on a good day. But there would be days where I needed alcohol and I would be much closer to give in if I drank a single beer once in a while.

I find it liberating to say goodbye to alcohol for good. Much less complicated for me.

All the situations through Christmas. I had not need to try to control anything. The decision was given beforehand I was touching this stuff. It was a burden lifted from my shoulders.

I can not understand why I have not thought of this solution to my alcohol worries years age. That would have saved me a lot of worries and pain.

I do hope it goes well for you karate. But you have not chosen the easy way and if you get lost – I hope you can find the way back without to much hassle.

steve-in-kville

Yeah- that. This mentality is what always tripped me up. It never stops with one.

To this end, on another athletic type forum I frequent, one member stated that to go from heavy drinking to being a moderate drinker, one must completely stop for 30 days before attempting to drink again.

But I want out completely. I've tried that before.

Sorry to be rude, just how I feel.

steve-in-kville

Good post, Dee!

mfanch

You slipped. Admitting it is not as bad as hiding it and staying in denial. I typed something else, but then I thought to myself, "OP really needs to hear the plain truth, not soft nuances", so I edited.

Glad you are here.