mfanch

Ugh, I would hate avoiding this place or that. I did that. It takes energy and planning.

I love being totally free from the burden of even thinking about alcohol. I don't envy folks who worry about control in certain situations, like the OP. Good luck!

ElegantlyWasted

The title of this thread initially struck me as a little bombastic as well.

I think the way a lot of us are inclined to frame this thread from a definition standpoint is..
Alcoholic= One who should not drink at all
vs
Problemed Drinker= One who can, but needs to and can successfully moderate.

Anyways... Per D's observation as well, I think this is a good thought tread because, not in spite of it being perceived as a little divisive.

Helped me reaffirm that I know that I should not drink at all.

And for those who may be tempted to try moderation, really really think about it.

MrTumble

Very true, I wish science would help us, seems like alcoholism is a long way down the list of priorities for research funding.

BTW, pretty much anythng can trigger me to think i can control my drinking... it doesnt take much encouragement to think that way

DarkDays

Don't mind me asking , but what is really the point of drinking now and then Do you like the taste or like the buzz ? People that drink are drinkers and people that stay sober are not drinkers , do not really see anything else. But really mean it, Good luck to you and enjoy whatever you do !

visch1

Lets see now........... 34 years a non drinker and a hard liner, you just have to be correct. I must cut back on my daily stupid pill consumption and listen to people who are still drinking. BE WELL.

fantail

Everyone, Just wanted to chime in...

Reading this, what I heard was:

"Hello it's been ages, I wanted to stop by to say thanks and give you an update. I'm feeling really positively and have curbed my drinking to a level that I'm comfortable with. I have some doubts, but it seems to be working for now so I'm happy."

"Hey that's awesome. You're not really happy, you know, you sound to me like your life is kinda rough. But you know, that's cool, good for you. I mean, you're wrong. But I'm happy for you, enjoy it until it blows up in your face."

Ok I'm being a little snarky. I understand that it's an emotional topic for people. And I know that tough love has a place in recovery. But in this case, it just seems to me that a fair-spirited post was met less than supportively.

The majority does not make the rule, there are always exceptions. Statistically, there are a portion of alcoholics or problem drinkers who are able to moderate when they return to drinking with new coping mechanisms. Sure, it's not most of us; I'm 98% sure it's not me. But none of us know if Tyler is in that narrow demographic which is successful. That being the case, I think it's only right to support his optimism that he might be.

I think we all try many approaches to keeping alcohol dependence out of our lives. I'm only at 80 days and I've already been experimenting with 3 or 4 different techniques. I hope they all work but I'll deal with it if they fail. I'm sure Tyler will do the same with his current technique.

Justfor1

Tyler, congrats on controlling drinking. Maybe you changed the type of drink? For example, beer instead of hard booze? I wish I could do it & would be willing to try "controlled drinking" except when I pick up a beer it turns into 2-3 day benders.

0percentABV

So you go to a message board full of people suffering through addiction to brag about how you can drink again. Classy.

soberlicious

Hi Tyler
I remember you...fight club references always stick with me. I'm glad you are doing well and although drinking any alcohol at all is not for me, you're not me, so maybe indeed it does work well for you. I also enjoy working out and running, but it is not what keeps me from drinking. If I depended on that (or anything else for that matter) to keep me "right", then what would happen if I was injured and couldn't work out or run? Or what if, as I get older and older I find I just cant do physically what I used to be able to do. What then? Does that mean a return to being a drunk? Anyway, you see where I'm going with this...
I'm glad you checked in. xo

john44

Tyler, a lot of people in "recovery" are bitter. Don't take it personally. Me, I wouldn't be able to drink, ever. If you can and it doesn't awaken the beast, then more power to you. Be vigilant though, don't mess up what sounds like a good life.

0percentABV

I wonder how many people that are struggling read this and has decided to give the old TylerDurden Challenge a shot? I wrote a lot during my last year of drinking and I'm amazed by some of the things I said. Reminded me of this thread. But hey, all I know is what was written. But I'm pretty sure of one thing, if true, then you didn't beat alcoholism, you never had it. You don't win. You quit playing the game.

Dee74

In my first year as mod I probably closed down as twice as many threads as I should have, for that reason.

Although my intent was good eventually, I realised I was selling the members here a little short.

I think anyone who reads the whole thread gets a pretty balanced serve of various viewpoints

D

quitforme79

I don't so much envy people who can drink safely, I rather envy those who don't always have to think about alcohol like I do... Preparing for situations, wanting to drink when I come across a trigger (which at times can be no reason at all). If I'm honest w myself the title of this post did annoy me because alcoholism is an incurable, insidious & progressive disease for which the only remedy is a lifetime of abstinence. It annoyed me because I'm an alcoholic though & I'm happy you can tolerate the drink TD. I know I can't drink safely even if my AV whines & moans at times. I'm hopeful it gets quieter because I see that in people w more sobriety than me.

FeenixxRising

We are all adults, and as adults we have the ability to judge his post on it's merits or lack of.

sugarbear1

Sometimes we don't see that forest as a tree is in the way.

I could and did do this when I was still in college. It took me 25 years to see things the way they really were and not as I did in the midst of things.

I wish you well, Tyler!

Hugs,
~SB

Sunds

If we genuinely had the ability to judge things by its merits or lack of, we would never have been alcoholics in the first place....
I will tell you a few things we commonly do:
1) We beat our wives.
2) We come come 3 in the night fully sloshed purely sub-consciously and do not even remember what we did last night.
3) We blow away our whole monthly salary to sustain our addiction
4) We get into fist-fights with strangers....Sometimes beating the other person till he bleeds or get beaten up like a road-side dog.
5) We know we cannot manage our lives anymore , yet continue drinking.
6) We land up having accidents sometimes injuring the other person badly.
These are some of the few things , we alcoholics commonly do....I have done all the above.....Now tell me what are the merits in what I have stated above....Nothing , Yet we continue doing this madness. So when it comes to our addiction we are no more rational....Hence it is very very important for us to keep ourselves in check and try and avoid any triggers.
-Sunder.

FeenixxRising

Perhaps you're right Sunds. I do think most, if not all of us realize we could never resume drinking with anything close to "control". Perhaps Tyler's post was not entirely appropriate, but I don't think his intent was malicious. And I'm hoping he is not kidding himself about being able to limit his drinking.

Adillac

"Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit bad enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may even cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason-ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor-becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention."
(p.20-21, Alcoholics Anonymous)

"Here are the methods we have tried[to control our drinking]: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever(with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums--we could increase the list ad infinitum."
(p.31 Alcoholics Anonymous)

Gave me a good enough reason to crack open the book

My 10 cents: I believe I'm an alcoholic of the hopeless variety, and that doesn't mean I'm going to just always drink and end up in the gutter (again), it means my mind and body are never going to be non-alcoholic. "Hopeless" basically meaning "Not Curable". Most people who go to AA or go to online message boards are not real alcoholics. For those who get all salty when they drink too much and then quit or moderate and no one gives them credit for it- get over it. It is pretty audacious and self-inflating to announce that you have cured yourself of a malady which the medical community along with AA have deemed an incurable illness whose only long-term successful treatment is abstinence. You either are a special human being (that'd be nice wouldn't it?) or maybe just maybe you are one of millions who have drank hard during their life, suffered consequences and then were scared straight. My mother can be physically addicted to vicodin because of a herniated disc in her back, and then when her body heals and she no longer needs the pain medication, she quits and doesn't want to get "high". Being "addicted" to something and being an "alcoholic/addict" can be mutually exclusive. One is situational, the other is pathological.

And for the record, it is kind of odd to post on a soberrecovery forum about how you dont need to be sober. Just sayin..

Godspeed.

visch1

Adillic. Great post. Now if those that read all of it can absorb it and perhaps do research on their own as sometimes we have thoughts/ideas and somehow skip over important words.
BE WELL

Justfor1

I know for myself, if someone tells me to "try some controlled drinking" then I will be at the bar in a hour drunk. I believe that age has an effect on if one can return to normal drinking. It is good to see the OP, Tyler, doing well. I think that is great.