Sunds

May I ask you ,if you are totally in control and happy about it, what is the reason for you to visit this forum???
Just to say "hi" and tell all how you have controlled your drinking.....We are not fools here to be carried away by what you say...
I personally feel your post is mischievous with an intent to pervert a few minds here....Give them this hope that even they can try and control their drinking if they want to....And that is because you are miserable from inside
and you want others also to be in the same misery....We are all veterans here in sobriety and now we have learnt all the tricks of the trade....You know very well that majority of the people here are hardcore addicts and your irresponsible posts like this can set off cravings in a few if not many or all...I personally feel that is precisely the motive of your post which is just showing your inner self....You may not be an alcoholic /addict( you know that better) but you sure are an evil person....
I do not understand how the moderators allowed such posts to come in the place...
-Sunder.

babycat

It may not have been the wisest thing to post, no. But come on, I think this is a bit of an over reaction. Evil? Really? I find that highly more offensive than someone talking about their "controlled drinking."

sugarbear1

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BASEjumper

I remember you. I hope you can keep a lid on it. I never could.

It never really goes away.

Dee74

I appreciate that for some of us returning to drinking is a sore spot, but lets not get hysterical.

Spend any time on this website and you'll see posts, many posts, by people who go back to controlled drinking.

It's the great wish of most of us at some time or another.

I don't believe there's any evil intent here.

I also believe we're all capable of making up our own minds whether it's viable for us or not.

One post is not going to convince us, one way or another - unless we want it to.

D

TylerDurden

While I respect your opinion and hold it in very high regard, what you are essentially saying is that no one who struggles with alcoholism can ever truly be "cured". And for those who did get better, or finally find ways to exert self-control, they were not truly addicts to begin with. Yet at one point in their lives, for whatever reason, they surely were addicted to something [alcohol].



You stated those who finally got help were simply lacking in self-discipline.


Wouldn't you say that anyone who is powerless over a substance lacks in self-discipline?

TylerDurden

I respect your opinion, and I am definitely not recommending what I do for anyone, I'm not even suggesting that anyone try it. I am simply telling my story - that is all.

Dee74

Thats what I figured TD

D

TylerDurden

My friend, I respect you and your post and I read up until the lines "I personally feel your post is mischievous with an intent to pervert a few minds here....Give them this hope that even they can try and control their drinking if they want to....And that is because you are miserable from inside
and you want others also."


With all due respect my friend, I cannot even consider the blasphemy I just read anymore than the amount of time it is taking me to formulate this response. I am not trying to corrupt anyone or do anything mischievous. I am not even suggesting anyone even try what I do.


I was simply sharing my story and that is all there is/was to it. I did not mean to offend in any way.

ElegantlyWasted

Hope all is well with you and Marla.... Don't drop the soap! (Metaphorically of course) Glad you found something that works. Romans, Friends, Countrymen!

polaris

I dont know man, I still try to attempt these experiments and such from time to time still hoping to find a balance.

My father almost died from his drinking (quit drinking before I was born), so there was always a paranoia- mainly from my mother- of me being an Alcoholic. It was extremely annoying, and I didnt like the way her or others painted as a black or white issue with no shades of Grey. I thought the way she/AA types/Counselors/etc acted seemed all very melodramatic and simply going overboard.

More and more I have came to realize how (sadly) accurate so much of what they say is. I still sometimes want to think that I can control it through will, active pursuit of my goals, focusing my attention on productive things, etc...and still be able to manage it from time to time. More and more I become increasingly doubtful about whether that is truly possible. I especially want to be able to maintain it as I tend to be the "life of the party" (which I do want to continue) type, and Im not sure if I could manage that sober...problem is I just cant seem to keep it to social situations...it always does seem to lead back to drinking alone, getting more alcohol the next day to chase a hangover (which will usually lead to a full day of drinking), etc.

Best of luck.

DaveAnomie

I'm in an issue where I may have to drink occasionally, or at least pretend to drink. I am in the early throws of learning how to do this, but for me, my livelihood depends on me controlling this, so I'm going to accomplish it. Tyler, I applaud you for both your growth, and for posting a different perspective. It may not be the way most people deal with Alcoholism, but for me, it gives me hope that I can accomplish my goal. Thanks

Gottalife

As far as I am aware recovery from alcoholism always involves total abstinance. There is still no way of making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic.

I have seen quite a few people turn up in treatment who thought, for a while, they were alcoholic. Later they discovered that this was not so, and returned to drinking without problems. It's not that uncommon.

Many recovered alcoholics talk of being misdiagnosed and treated for various mental illnesses on their journey to identifying their real problem. Perhaps it can be got round the other way too - mental illness or some other issue wrongly diagnosed as alcoholism?

In anycase, if TD's problems are solved and TD can drink safely and moderately again, that's really good news.

Sunds

O.K....Maybe I over-reacted....I am sorry....But I cannot even imagine getting into that misery again and I do not wish anyone should go through this misery ever.
-Sunder.

ClearLight

Hey TD

Actually, I said:

I think there is a biological component to addiction. Like blue eyes. In fact I think it is THE component. The more an addict drinks the stronger that biological component becomes. You don't lose that biological condition any more than you lose your blue eyes.

It will always be there.

So, if you're an addict, moderation will only aggrevate your condition. That's why, when someone relapses, it gets worse every time.

That's the way I see it.

You'll find out in time.

Deckard

Hi, TD. Good to meet you. I'm glad everything is moving is a positive direction for you. I appreciate your coming back here to post your experiences.

If I may offer an analogy: in medicine, when a patient is in remission after treatment for a malignancy, they are still kept under systematic and intense observation. Not because a relapse is guaranteed to occur, but rather because there is a substantial risk, and it is better to catch it very early... I hope you are able to keep yourself under similar close observation.

Threshold

It's always a good idea, when reading here, to keep in mind that people are sharing THEIR experience, not THE experience.

There are different ways to achieve and maintain sobriety(and apparently moderation). What works for some doesn't work for others. We all benefit from the honesty that is shared here. We are all, ultimately responsible for our own recovery. So if I try someone elses method and don't have the result they do, it is up to me to try something different.

Moderation may be the goal for some of us here, and maybe some achieve it, but the overwhelming % of us require abstinence for our recovery, and it can be dangerous for us to give the moderation method one more try. But again, we are each responsible for our own recovery.

I remember you TD and it's always nice when someone checks in and let's us know how they are doing. Glad life is going well for you. I admit my tummy got squeamy reading your story hoping it doesn't inspire some of us to listen to the wrong voice inside our own heads, but recovery isn't a cotton lined box.

Joe Nerv

I think the slap in the face responses were greatly inspired by the title.

I agree, if someone drank like crazy and found a way to drink normally... well, truth be told, that would be great. My wife was actually like that, got high when she was young as much as most of us, but then decided she had enough. She now has a couple of glasses of wine a year, at best, and doesn't struggle at all with it. She has no compulsion to drink. She rarely even has any desire to drink at all. She can drink a half of glass of wine and leave the rest because she doesn't want it. She's not an alcoholic. I would therefore not consider her freed from alcoholism.

Truth be told again, the OP doesn't sound like my wife. Sounds like it's a very uphill battle to stay away from the drink, yet he's still drinking. Sounds a little more like alcoholism, if ya ask me, but that's not my call. Decades upon decades have proven that for the alcoholic, drinking from time to time is not the answer. I, and others here I believe posted what we did because we didn't want to give anyone a dangerous idea. And to tell it like it is to the OP.

If this continues to work for you Tyler, I'm really happy for you. I'd have loved for myself to have been able to drink less, when I was in my addiction. That wasn't possible. For some it is. Had you titled your post differently, I think you might have gotten a different response. Then again, people here mighta jumped all over you no matter what. I actually really hope this continues to work for you. If it doesn't however, please know that there is a wonderful life available for people without alcohol. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol, and now I have no desire whatsoever to go anywhere near it.

pkrma

So what's the point then? Why take the risk of ruining your life with alcohol, when all you get out of it is a hangover?

If you're living the majority of your life without alcohol and only drinking once a month, I honestly don't see the point, you might as well commit to complete abstinence. You know you're taking a risk of going back to being an alcoholic, because you admitted your uncertainty, as shown in the quote above.

Drinking lightly may not turn out be a mistake for you, but abstinence is never a mistake. You're so close to abstinence, you might as well just step over the edge and guarantee yourself a life free of the pain of alcohol abuse.

ru12

Some people, even some who self-identify as alcoholics, can learn to moderate. Even the Big Book tells you that if you have doubts to go and try some controlled drinking. Looks like the OP did just that and found that he could. As it says my hat is off for him. Personally I have no interest in drinking that stuff again.