MegTheRunner

Hi everyone, hope all is well.

I wanted to discuss some thoughts I've been having lately that are bothering me. I work in healthcare and I am around narcotics all the time. As difficult as it is to get away with stealing drugs or whatnot it is possible. To get to the point lately I've been contemplating using medications. I never was "into" prescription drugs but lately I've noticed myself thinking about using them. I don't think I will, but I know I'm at risk. I always heard about trading in one addiction for another and I think my brain is trying to trick me into something and it's a little disturbing to me. I'm a day away from 7 months sober and although my urges to drink are few and far between I find myself contemplating IV narcotics and oral medications more and more. I've also realized I've been shopping alot more than ever before. I've heard about the "shoppers high" and I think I'm feeling that one as well. Time to get back to my counselor?? Thoughts and feelings are greatly appreciated.

Take care, stay strong friends.
-Meg

Dee74

I know you'll hear from folks in healthcare who lost careers by some silly decisions Meg.
Don't be one of them.

I know the temptation is to think I don;t drink anymore so I'm ok now, but a lot of us found the problem really wasn't drink, or drugs...the problem was us.

I went through several drugs of choice before I realised I needed to work on me and why I wanted to escape reality so badly.

I think going back to your counsellor would be a really smart move

D

MegTheRunner

Enough said, you're right. Thanks Dee I just emailed her.

Caldus

Hi Meg,

Great to see that you're staying sober. I understand what you're trying to say in your post. I seek other types of 'highs' such as playing video games all day or getting obsessed with some problem at work or whatever. While it may not be at the level of alcohol or narcotics, it's nonetheless still the same underlying thing -- I'm seeking some sort of high or escape. In AA (or at least in my home group), they always say to be sober is to not drink or take 'any mind or mood altering substances'. Medications are always a trickier topic since some people need them for other conditions. But I know one guy who became terribly addicted to prescription pills after he stopped drinking and was seeking something else. And now he's back in AA.

Just curious ... are you still in AA and working the steps?

Impurrfect

((Meg)) - I was an RN. I was in a very dysfunctional relationship with an alcoholic, drank to "keep up or put up" with him and that didn't even work.

I DID turn to the narcs. It was the beginning of a descent into hell. You can read my story on the "what is recovery" forum, but to make it short. I lost a career I was really good and and loved.

I thought I was smart enough to not get addicted, since I had put down the alcohol so easily. Heck, I even put down the narcotics pretty easily (when I got caught and had no choice) but just ended up becoming a crack addict.

I'm REALLY glad you're aware of the possibility and that you're posting about it. I pray you never take the path I did to finally get to recovery.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

MegTheRunner

Caldus-Yes I work the steps a bit although I'm not going to meetings. I honestly never did get to a meeting. I managed to get and stay sober through this site and a substance abuse counselor, with help and support from friends and family, and materials from the AA central offices i.e. the bookstore where I live. It's worked so far I just still struggle with thoughts from time to time. I take xanax on occasion for sleep and that is not a problem but like I said, I've thought more and more about trying other things.

Impurrfect-Thank you for sharing and I will read your story. There is nothing more important to me than my work and I don't want to throw away all Ive worked so hard for. The urge to use is increasing and it's time I discussed it with my counselor. Guess I just needed to hear you guys say it.

artsoul

Just want to commend you - on your post and your honesty, and emailing your counselor. I think a lot of us would experience some temptation being around a lot of drugs all the time.

I was still getting some occasional urges at 7 months sober. I think some of it was PAWS, but a lot of it was just me going through internal stuff: boredom, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, or whatever. Just learning to be sober...... Nurses have to give, give, give..... and frankly, I don't know how you do it. I went through nursing school and loved it, but found the hospital setting way too stressful, so I'm a starving artist now....

Sounds like you know exactly what to do, so give yourself a pat on the back.