hamabi

It's great to see that you're still trying very hard to beat this thing.

spidy

Hi exhausted, sounds like you have two issues to confront. One is drinking and one is dealing with other stuff in your life that is causing you difficulties. I would separate the two. As far as alcohol goes, just remember after drinking all your problems are still there and you feel sick the next day (at least I do). It really is better to say, "I am so glad I am free of that poison and you will really proud of yourself when you stop. And for the other things in your life, I would definitely seek out somebody you trust who will listen and possibly give you good advice. When I went thru my divorce I met with a therapist ($90 hour for 50 minutes what a rip but insurance helped but it was worth it. She always listened and tried to helped me. There might be free services offered by your community or hotlines staffed by volunteers as well that you can call. But whatever your problems, there is no way alcohol can help you in the long run. It just keeps you in assured misery as long as you use it.

hamabi

If it's apparent you cannot fix yourself, that's important to know.

If it's important to you that you get help to do this then you will spend the hours and effort it requires.

If you don't spend the hours and efforts, then that's the truest indicator of your prospects in beating this, as it cannot be wished away.