Justfor1

The women I was seeing no longer wishes to see me. I'm quite upset. She says now is not the right time because she recently got kicked out of her halfway house & could soon be homeless. I guess that makes sense yet still feel hurt. The truth is I hate feeling this way & don't think I have to? I know that I can pick up a drink & the pain will go away. Consequences never changed my drinking/drugging. Doctors, family, friends, AA ect... were telling me "you are going to die if you don't stop". I'm not afraid of what will happen. I accept it. I just don't know how to cope with stressful things that most people are able to do. I hate myself & my life. I'm not going to drink tonight. But I feel like in the next couple of days I'm going to go on an all out bender.

HIGHBOTTOM57

I know it hurts so much when the one we want to be with can't or won't be with us. It is so hard to deal with that broken hearted feeling. Good for you for writing about it. Who knows, maybe you won't go on that bender... Maybe it is too soon to be in a relationship for both of you (i am sure you don't want to hear that)... but just maybe. Hope you hang in there... take it one hour at a time. We have all been there...

suki44883

Consequences never changed my drinking/drugging.

Drinking/drugging will never change your consequences, either. For an alcoholic, there is NEVER a good reason to drink. The pain doesn't really go away. You just numb it for a while. It's still there waiting for you when you sober up. No one gets through life without pain and hard times. Drinking only adds to the problem. It's time to grow up and deal with life like everyone else has to.

CarolD

Think about what happens when you drink...do you really want to be
homeless hospitalized and arrested?

sugarbear1

get to a meeting so you aren't alone.

You are loved, just. KNOW this.

Hugs,

Dee74

That's not a good enough reason.

I'm sorry you feel sad - but we're meant to feel that way when we have a break up J41...

a week from now, a month - this won't hurt or matter as much - whether you drink or not...

it's immaterial in that sense...so why drink when you know where you may end up?

don't talk yourself into a corner.

D

pinkdog

I appreciate your honesty. I am an alcoholic. I do not have any good reasons to drink. I hope you will think about another way to handle your stress. I was having bad panic attacks. I started using a technique called urge surfing. It changed my life. I can go to the store now and remain calm. I hope that you will try it. Alcohol is bad for your health. It is great to be sober and healthy. I wish it for you. If you can plan ahead for something bad for you, you can plan ahead for something good for you. Life is beautiful when sober.:ghug3

saraylah

Alert alert alert....Mental relapse always leads to relapse. Be very careful of your surroundings. And don't drink. Drinking is never the problem solver its the problem maker.And the female is just worried about not having a home, somewhere to live is important to someone trying to get on her feet. Stop with the selfish thinking and understand what she is going through. Instead of picking up the drink go look for a solution that will help her in case she does get kicked out. Are you working, can you give her a place to stay. If not then maybe you should be looking for a job instead of that drink. I don't mean to sound so harsh but that is the reality of the matter.
Its a good thing that you are aware of you wanting to drink but you fight that by attending a meeting or focusing on something positive.
Don't hate your life. Your life is something special and although its seems hard right now because you feel hurt, know that its a temporary situation. It won't always be this way especially if you find a corrective solution to the problem that is going on.
Its there you just have to work hard to get there. The drinking won't solve anything it'll only make matters worse for you and your health.
I think an AA meeting would be good for you right now. Stay strong and keep your head up. We are here for you. You can do it. Sometimes taking it minute by minute is what we have to do to stay sober and to stay alive.Fight the good fight. Hugs to you.

tomsteve

consequenses never stopped me from drinking. even after being responsible for the death of another human, i drank for about 14 more years.
it was desperation that worked. the pain of getting drunk exceeded the pain of reality and it was get help or kill myself. i walked into AA a miserable friggin wreck, put int he footwork and started to change me.
today, i am happiy joyous, and free. i have days where i am a wreck, but i am a happy wreck!!!

Hevyn

Justfor1 - Please, please reconsider numbing yourself into a fog over this. When you finally sober up, you'll be in so much more pain than you are right now. The sadness of what happened will fade in time - and you'll meet someone else. Nothing ever stays the same for long - but if you get trashed and wallow in misery, you may not make it back to enjoy the rest of your life. There's so much more waiting for you.

Elisabeth888

Go to a meeting and tell them how you are feeling. Ask for help! Make an appointment with your therapist. Keep reading and posting. Drinking and using is not the solution and you know it.

winslynn

Only the lucky alcoholics die quickly,most get the worst life has to offer for many years.Go to the Salvation Army,take a look at the men, and see how you're going to be in the future.If you don't care what happens to you,who will?

NatalieN

Justfrone break ups are supposed to feel bad, but they are part of life and have happened to billions of human beings. Don't believe that you are less apt to deal with life's ups and downs than the next person. That simply isn't the case. It's a lie your alcoholism wants you to believe to help you justify reaching for the bottle.

I read here that there is nothing drinking won't make worse. You've been given great advise by others here. Come back and tell us how it went.

Justfor1

[QUOTE=suki44883;3458166 It's time to grow up and deal with life like everyone else has to.

Wow, pretty harsh. I would like to grow up & deal with life but feel like I'm just a failure at it. The truth is I don't have to deal with it when I'm drinking. The consequences are almost comforting to me. I seem to do better when I'm incarcerated whether it be jail, psyche hospital, rehab, recovery home ect....
I'm not like everyone else. Thanx

Justfor1

I lived at the Salvation Army downtown for almost a year. They had a pretty good program & I fit right in.

suki44883

I'm sorry you found what I said to be harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts. It sounds to me like you just want to drink, and if that is the case, then why are you on a recovery board? We do not and will not ever condone drinking.

We have too many people here who truly WANT recovery and it is a slap in the face to them when someone glorifies alcohol as a solution to their problems. Alcohol is NEVER a solution. I hope that one day, you will realize that.

Elisabeth888

I don't think Suki is trying to be mean or harsh. If she is like me, she does not want to see you go down that road. We get to know people on SR and we CARE.

You are feeling sorry for yourself and trying to justify drinking. The way you are feeling right now is exactly why relationships in early sobriety are not advised.

Use your tools and work through this.

Justfor1

We have too many people here who truly WANT recovery and it is a slap in the face to them when someone glorifies alcohol as a solution to their problems. Alcohol is NEVER a solution. I hope that one day, you will realize that.[/QUOTE]

How do you know if I truely want sobriety? How long have you been sober? What kind of childhood did you have? Am I glorifying alcohol because I'm telling the truth? Alcohol numbs feelings & that's a fact.

Elisabeth888

Just, I was a chronic relapser and I had a "come to Jesus" if you will. I was sick and tired of the after math of drinking. All it brings me is fear and anxiety. It is NOT FUN anymore. I don't think it is for you either.

I see all these people at AA happy and sober and I am like, I can do this too. I am willing to do some things I don't like or want to do to stay sober. Like share and be honest about my feelings. You have to do that to get better.

suki44883

I have no intention of arguing with you on this forum, so this will be my last post in this thread.

I grew up with an alcoholic father who left me and my mother when I was 9 years old. My mother had never worked and didn't even have a driver's license. Suffice it to say that my mother grew up, got a job, rode the bus to work until she could get a driver's license and buy a cheap car and went on to do very well for herself.

As far as how much sober time I have, as of the 6th of this month, I have 4 years sobriety. Was it easy? Hell no! Did I ever relapse, hell yes. Once. Did I ever have things in my life that made me want to drink myself into oblivion? Hell yes! A daughter who developed an eating disorder and attempted suicide every couple of months! Did I think I was going to go freaking crazy? Hell, yes! Did I drink over it? Hell no!

Life happens. Sh*tty life happens. Alcohol is NOT the answer. If you want sobriety, you are going to have to work hard for it and that means NOT numbing your feelings. Again, I hope you learn that fact one day. Good luck to you.