A Good Reason To Drink----
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Justfor1 
Going to my homegroup AA meeting tonight. I'm going to be honest about my slip a month ago that awaken the monster. Going to ask a guy to be my sponser because my old one moved away months ago. I have so much shame from being an alcoholic/addict. I am so embarrassed & ashamed of living 10yrs of my life as a alcoholic. Robbyrobot, thank you for your post. Thanks everyone for the posts. While some were of no use to me I do realize that most people have good intentions for me. Sometimes, I feel like my life is a trainwreck. I know the train is going to crash yet I can't stop it. I just have prepare for the impact. It's horrible.
The embarrassment and the shame I felt, when I began to realize I couldn't, and worse wouldn't quit, well, typed words in a share aren't enough to express my complete sense of worthlessness. Sobriety was such a torture for me, such a total nakedness... I really didn't want it if it sucked so much. Only drunk and or stoned did I have any relief from my troubles, and how sick is that, eh? Even though I knew it to be a complete sham, my delusions were at worse more comfortable than the horrific realities of living an even more impossible life sans alcohol. I was a hot mess.
And yet, here I am sober.
I can tell you, Justfor1, the embarrassment, and the shame, these horrible states of being don't last, they absolutely do crest, break, and fade. I never would have believed it myself, and yet, today I can remember back when as if in a dream, like it all happened to someone else, I've changed that much. Yay me.
Yeah, not so much I completely forget where I've been, but enough that most of my pains with shame, embarrassment, guilt, and arrogance are total history. My alcoholic mind has been changed out, and I'm finally okay with me, and okay with the world.
You got alot to offer, Justfor1. Absolutely. Totally. Don't believe otherwise. I use to sleep in ditches, and feel good about it. The more lost I was, the better, you know? You understand, Justfor1. You know what I mean.
I want you to know that even though your life maybe a trainwreck in your eyes today, things can, and will change, as you continue with your sober living. The trainwreck life can be left behind. It worked for me, and it can, and will, work for you too. Awesome to hear you're keeping sober, bro.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I have so much shame from being an alcoholic/addict. I am so embarrassed & ashamed of living 10yrs of my life as a alcoholic..............Sometimes, I feel like my life is a trainwreck. I know the train is going to crash yet I can't stop it. I just have prepare for the impact. It's horrible.
This is why many of us, not just me, have been asking you what Step, when are you going to do your steps, etc
It is the Working those 12 Steps with my Sponsor, that removed that shame, took away the fear, allowed me to make amends, and has allowed me all these years to live sober and clean, by LIVING the principals of the steps on a daily basis.
I, of course, had to work the steps first, to learn how to live the principals on a daily basis in all my affairs.
I am glad you have decided to get a face to face sponsor and be 'accountable' to your home group!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love and hugs,
Dragon Ball Fan
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by suki44883
Consequences never changed my drinking/drugging.
Drinking/drugging will never change your consequences, either. For an alcoholic, there is NEVER a good reason to drink. The pain doesn't really go away. You just numb it for a while. It's still there waiting for you when you sober up. No one gets through life without pain and hard times. Drinking only adds to the problem. It's time to grow up and deal with life like everyone else has to.
Drinking/drugging will never change your consequences, either. For an alcoholic, there is NEVER a good reason to drink. The pain doesn't really go away. You just numb it for a while. It's still there waiting for you when you sober up. No one gets through life without pain and hard times. Drinking only adds to the problem. It's time to grow up and deal with life like everyone else has to.
As we know, picking any sort of alcohol beverage is not the answer you seek and if you decide to seek drink or drugs as the answer you shall still be faced with it when sober.
I would speak to her about her problems and your own, maybe she does not want to stay with you as she is scared she might relapse or make you relapse.
Drinking feels likes it solves problems, in actual reality it subsides them.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
In order for me to live through life's pain and heartbreaks not drinking, I had to live through life's pains and heartbreaks and not drink. I relied on AA for support on learning on how to deal with life and not drink. There are also other support groups you can use. It will get better with time.
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