artsoul

Honestly, no...... but it took me a year to get to that point.

mwstylee

I won't lie - yes, I honestly miss plenty of things from the "early days" of drinking when it was fun. Warm days in college when I got done with the last class of my day, run to my dorm, and start setting up the beer pong tables with my buddies. Staying up til 5am getting drunk, having fun being young, no responsibilities. I would be lying if I said those memories aren't really close to my heart to this day.

gaffo

I'm thankful not to miss beer anymore. The first month or so I had an empty hand and a dry mouth something wicked. I missed my beer with an ache in my heart! Now it's just another thing in my life that I can't/won't have and that's okay.

I was never much of a wine drinker, I used to joke that it was the only type of alcohol that I could drink responsibly, but in my life I have been served many very fine glasses of wine in good company with great dinners and I sort of miss that.

Part of my whole personal recovery program is the strong core belief that all aspects of alcohol consumption are tied together. Every little thing that I might miss is eventually leading to stuff that I hated. I'm done with it...

instant

I have only recently seen that my relationship with alcohol was abnormal long before it was a "problem" . It has cost me,"............ all for chasing a buzz

OklaBH

tell you...Im not missing it. This is the first Friday night in MANY months that i can say i enjoyed myself & my family. I dont have to worry about people calling my husband today to find out "whats really going on with her?" Also its a relief to wake up with no cuts, bruises, scrapes, scratches etc.... Being beat up all the time gets harder and harder to explain. In a couple hours I will leave with my son to a prospect football camp (he's a senior) I go into Saturday and I am not hungover or still buzzed from Friday.

Actually who am I kidding? If I pulled my usual Friday night I would make a mysterious illness and cancel the entire trip to Kansas and disappoint my son.

GLad to be back. Thank you for welcoming me back to the forum.

miko67

I hear ye. Its true I've had great times on alcohol. The damage its costing and is going to cause is not worth having in my life. Peace.

hypochondriac

Last night...I was out with normal drinkers and there was nice beer where we were...I thought it would be nice just to be able to have just one, just for the taste. Then I remembered that at no point in my life have I ever just had one beer! Not once. Even when I was messing around when I was 12. It's much nicer being out when you don't have to worry about what people are thinking about your drinking!

I don't miss the constant anxiety the next day (ad nauseum) or having to worry about functioning/smelling of beer/getting rid of the evidence etc.

Na, this sobriety lark is so much better

Ranger

I remember a brief period of my early alcoholism (during college) with a bit of sentimentality. I do not miss it--not for a nanosecond--because at this point I understand it was all an illusion.

Glad you're here, and welcome to Kansas for the weekend!

DoinThis

I miss it so so much. At the fore front of my mind is the great times, the relaxation, everything i enjoyed about it. The last 18 months or so it was only good 30% of the time, the last 3 months 10% of the time. It takes me so much conscious effort tho to keep reminding myself why i cant do it any more and to remind myself of the crap. Im struggling today as I miss it so much

SSIL75

I only miss the anticipation. Like the lie I guess. I miss what I thought alcohol would do for me. But it never did, if that makes sense.

Like say I was going away for a weekend (maybe once a year I'd go to NYC to visit my sister and get a break from my small children). I would be so excited and think how awesome it would be to just let loose for the weekend. I'd buy new clothes etc. Drink on the train and basically drink the entire weekend.

Come back from my 'break' depressed, hungover, snapping at the kids with NOTHING to show for it except a bigger beer belly and a smaller bank account. Embarrassing memories (or lack thereof).

And I'd think 'well that kind of sucked' and how next time I would _____ (drink less/more/different things).

So no. I really don't miss anything. It was all kind of fun in theory. But not in practice.

NOW I go away and it's genuinely fun and relaxing. Every day has multiple parts! There are nuances that I just missed. I go to bed tired, physically and mentally. Every day is so FULL. Like I really didn't realize that you could do SO much. See, feel, hear so many different things.

It's just night and day. I can't believe I fought SO HARD to keep something that was making my life SO DULL!!!

sugarbear1

That "anticipation" is the rush we crave.

I can get that rush in healthier ways today.

scrambled2012

The AV was talking to me about this just the other day; how I miss the warm glow that seemed to come from everything in the bar, including the bar tender, while I sat there reading a book in order to fool myself into believing i was actually accomplishing something with my time.

The reality was that I would have to leave the bar and head to another after X number of drinks, so nobody could tell how much I was really drinking. The reality was every week I was running shorter and shorter of money; every morning I was telling myself that this can't go on, was unsustainable in so many ways. The reality was that on occasion somebody would irritate me something awful, and I would decide to never return to "that" bar again. The realty was that I was running out of bars. The reality was that my blurred vision was making me think I needed glasses at work, when I actually didn't. The reality was that my short term memory had become so poor that i would instantly forget anything I didn't immediatly write down.

The reality was that I was sick, and getting sicker. I'm glad I was arrested before I hurt myself more or somebody else. The AV can go to hell.

RyanRed

If you had asked me this question 6-7 months ago, I would have answered it completely different.

6-7 Months ago would have been something like this:

I miss the fun factor I used to have with drinking. I miss my outgoing personality. I miss how I used to laugh at everything, and the worlds troubles
would just diminish. If it could have stayed like that than sure, I miss some aspects of it, but sadly it never stays like that.

Asking me this today:

HELL NO!! Its all flippin BS. I have all that listed above, and more, in a sober
mindset. Alcohol was merely an illusion as Ranger stated. I can have just
as much fun, excitement, social life, laughter more than ever before! And SOBER! My God, I so do not miss it. But EVERY so often, that little fragment
of thought will cross my mind about drinking, ill acknowledge it, but then quickly realize how stupid of a thought it was.

Miss alcohol.....BBAAAHAHAHAHHAHA hell no... How I feel today, and who I am today would have never been possible drinking.


To be honest, when i see people drink today (whom are more than social drinkers), I feel sorry for them. I don't inject myself in anyway, but I know what they're going through. The hangovers, the embarrassments, the anxiety, all that. Its sad because they really believe they need alcohol to feel happy. But hey, I was that guy too for a very long time . I just can't help but feel for um because I too have been there.

Anyways enough rambling from me.

-Ryan

OklaBH

Thank you my friend! NExt you have to come to Oklahoma!

GreviousAngel

That's why it is so hard. But it is not only drinking I miss, I miss being young. I miss being able to party and drink and laugh and flirt and then wake up the next morning and shake it all off. I miss the secret club, the sorority of boozers, the shared quick nip with a guilty look.

I miss floating along, the world a pleasant glow, seen through a glass blearily.

I miss cooking, a wine glass in my hand, a crowd in my kitchen, spilling into the patio, the smell of chicken roasting. Always another bottle of wine to be had. I miss being surrounded by the noise and smells of Summer: Barbecue, cigarettes, wood smoke, sauce bubbling on the stove.

I know I can do all these things sober, and I try, but it is not the same, and I accept that, but try as I might, I cannot embrace it.

It is my life now. It is not the life I once lived, but it is often a good one.

-GA

Dee74

welcome back GA

I'm not sure how long you've been sober, and I'm not a great St Paul man but recovery - to me - is a lot like I Cor13:11
I had a long adolescence - 20 years worth - but I've grown a lot in my recovery - I want more from life now.

You don't find that?

D

LDT

After bringing up this exact topic a few days ago with a good and wise friend, he suggested that we better be careful and not "reminisce ourselves into a lost weekend".

Thank you good and wise friend (you know who you are).

GreviousAngel

Some days I do, some days not so much. But I have packed a lot of life into my years. I have been lost in the Kalahari, frost-bitten in the Artic, dined on foie gras with billionaires, stolen ketchup from MacDonald's to survive, counted pennies for rent. I blazed through life like an incandescent flame. I loved it. Or most of it. But now, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. And I don't kid myself: my party years are done. I am lucky to be alive and lucid.

I miss the waltz.

-GA

OklaBH

Thank you GA and Dee! I don't miss it today at all! Its monday and I'm wide awake ready for work. I'm not buzzed, bruised or hungover. Had a fun productive sober weekend! God is looking at me! My last destructive drunk I lost our house payment. This morning my husband was getting a ziplock bag and out came a bunch of hundreds!!!!! Also he said he wants to get sober with me! He won't agree to AA but you might see him on SR! Life is good. Happy monday!

Dee74

I'm sorry you miss it GA..

I was fed a diet of romantic doomed poets and rock star excess and I believed it - I equated incandescence with living...

But when I look back now, I was unhappy...I knew I could have done more with my life...I felt I was barely breaking the surface on what my life could have been - and the last 5 years have proved to me I was right.

I felt for many years I was struggling to wear someone else's suit - now, finally my 'life clothes' fit.

I hope you'll find a way for your new 'clothes' to fit too

D