baileygrrrl

Oh where to start?

This weekend, my husband discovered my "secret" credit card statement and found out I had purchased over $200 worth of booze in a month. That was the last straw for him. I have one more chance.

Today will be my first sober day in at least 6 months. I usually drink around 1/2 to 3/4 of a litre of wine a day. Or the equivalent in vodka. I don't drink during the day - my drinking time is right after work.

What can I expect? Anything I can do to make this a bit easier? There is so much to tell and the backstory will come but this post is just a start. I'm probably going to end up using it as a blog at least until I get this **** figured out.

Jen

warrens

Welcome!

This is a great place to share and learn.

You can do it! Make sure that you are doing this for YOU, and not for anyone else. If You want it, You can have it. You simple need to be willing to do anything to get it.

All the best!

warren

mm312

Jen,


I just started also and have been milking this forum and it's a wealth of knowledge. If you're husband is like my fiance, he may not trust that you just stop. AND as easy as you think it is, it's hard and education on the topic is essential to success.

I enrolled in a private outpatient program in my area and encourage you to do the same. I drank about 2 min glasses of wine Tues, Wed, Thurs 3/4, Friday who knows, Sat who knows and Sunday a glass or two. I have learned it's not exactly how much, it's how you react and a million other things.

Be proud that you are here... and just think. You won't have any more "drunk" stories or battles with alcohol with your husband. You'll be fine and you'll get control. Just reach out, and please try to be open. It will take you to new levels.

I'm sure you'll get some excellent interaction here. Today is my first official day again, I tried it alone and couldn't resist the wine with dinner. Ughghgh!!

Good luck and keep your chin up!

4MY3

Good morning friends, thanks for your posts and welcome to this awsome support site, I have only been here for a short time but it my morning newspaper of wonderful supportive info to start my day.MM312 congrats on the start of your program it sounds great.
Jen all you can do is One Day At A Time and do the best You can do!
Take care of You,Stac

baileygrrrl

Thanks for the welcome.

I just told my good friend that I won't be able to see her for a couple of weeks. I told her that I had to focus on myself and my family for a while and that my drinking is out of control. I hope she understands. Unfortunately, when she comes over my drinking is at it's worst. Have to avoid that trigger for a while.

mm312

Jen I could not relate to you more. I have friends that are the same way. I have friends that I knew if I was going to hang out with them I would def black out and drink until 4am.

Those friends also caused a lot of issues with my fiance bc he knew how we were. You do what is best for you. Your loved ones need to support you as I am seriously learning....I know when I hung out with those friends I never felt good about myself and didn't really enjoy it at all. I just enjoyed the alcohol and the fact I was not being judged.

I was also scared on changing my lifestyle bc everyone I know is a drinker in the city scene. It's all worth it though... You'd be suprised how many ppl have told me now that they wish they could stop or know they should.

NoMoBeer

Hi Jen, and welcome...
This stuff can stop today. All of the pain that comes with drinking does not have to continue.

That being said, there are simple steps you can take to recover, at least which worked for me:

1. Go to AA meetings -- 90 meetings in 90 days to start.
2. Get a sponsor, to help walk you through the steps and the program.
3. Don't drink between meetings.
4. Get to work on the steps and make recovery the number one priority in your life.

Of course, I would seek medical advice if needed first -- but for a recovery program, many of us have found AA to be quite successful and enjoyable...

Keep posting here and let us know how you are doing...

ken

Tazman53

NoMoBeer said it well.... very well!

All I will add is for you all to know you are only alone in this fight if you choose to be, there is no reason to be alone fighting this beast.

The best of men and women have been unable to stop drinking and stay stopped without help, I am talking about people who are from all walks of life, from the macho construction worker who can move mountains, to the CEOs of major corporations, from the professional sports star to the 3rd grade teacher, black, white, young or old.

More people then you can imagine have been unable to stay stopped alone, they have used AA or some other recovery program to stay sober.

It is far easier to stay sober with the support and help of other recovered alcoholics who have been there and done that.

baileygrrrl

I can't stop thinking about tonight. I usually have a drink minutes from when I get in the door from work. I get that first drink in and all is ok with the world. What will my world be like tonight?

ANGELINA243

I think the first thing you should do is to get rid of all the booze in the house. Then it won't be so convenient to get a drink as soon as you walk in the door. I couldn't sober up while having any booze around here. It was way to tempting.

baileygrrrl

I'm pretty sure there is no booze in the house. Lots of empty bottles, but no booze.

psyk0

Congrats on your decision!

You can expect feeling restless (do something to take your mind off of it, cleaning, writing things down, anything)

and you can expect little or no sleep for a few nights, when you do sleep, you'll feel a lot more rested than when you drank

and if you keep this up.... you can expect feeling 1000 times better

MNGirlyGirl

Welcome to SR and best wishes to you Baileygrrl. Your friendships may get tricky -- depending on what type of drinkers they are. sometimes they feel threatened and want their old drinking buddy back. You quitting will also make them look at themselves. I recommend a support group like AA. IT is so hard walking in there the first time, but you have no idea how great it is to have so many people who share our "secret"!

CarolD

De toxing from alcohol alone can be dangerous.
Have you done this before?

Here are some of our experiences
not all of them will happen to you
but you need to be aware

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Welcome Jen...

RufusACanal

Welcome Jen! SR is an awesome place to supplement AA meetings when learning how to live a new life. Please ask and someone will always respond. If I can help, please let me know.


Thanks

R

baileygrrrl

Thanks to everyone for their offers of support and good wishes. I don't know what I need right now really other than to be able to write out my feelings.

I am scared ******** to go to an AA meeting. I am a social phobic and the idea of walking into a meeting alone is enough to give me a panic attack. Is it ok to take someone like my husband?

NoMoBeer

Find the AA site for your area, and look for "open" meetings -- alkies and non-alkies welcome.

Don't be scared, go early, meet some folks, sit and listen if you would like. Get some phone numbers so you will have them to call after if needed. Always good to talk to someone else with the same issues.... and you will help others without even knowing it.

I promise you, the meetings will not be what you think -- I had a totally different view of AA until I went in for the first time....

You can do this... one day at a time.

Ken

baileygrrrl

Thanks - I found an open meeting in my area. What happens when I walk inside? Do I have to talk? I think this might just be too scary for me.

I leave work in an hour and go pick up my daughter from daycare (She's 5). I usually head to the liquor store first but not tonight. I think I'll just go to bed early.

NoMoBeer

No, you do not HAVE to talk! If they give out chips, you can take a 24 hour chip if you feel comfortable (desire to stay sober) and have those milestones each month... if not, you can just sit in back or wherever, and just listen. No worries. Just listen to others' stories and pass if you don't want to talk or if you are called on... what type of meeting is it, does it say?

"the only REQUIREMENT for membership is a desire to stop drinking."

ken

miss communicat

yes. its okay to take your husband as long as its an "open" AA meeting (assuming your hubby is not an alcoholic with a desire to stop drinking himself)

you can also phone up the local AA office, their number is in information, and arrange for a woman member to meet you outside of a specific meeting a few minutes early. That way you will not feel so afraid to walk into an AA meeting alone.

Once there, you will see how welcoming and safe it feels. All you should do is try and listen to the sobriety in the room , and if asked to share, unless you are comfortable sharing, simply say, "Tonight I'd like to listen, thanks".

Good luck. Please let people help you. The early days of sobriety can be very hard to go through, let alone unwise if you are used to long term regular heavy alcohol intake. Like CarolD said, consider seeing a doctor for medical support as well.