Shaneo20

This is my first post and I'm in need of some support. Alcohol has become a major problem for me and I have decided to quit. I've visited this site extensively but only registered just now. I have done terrible things over the years from alcohol and I need to get my life on track. I'm scared of failing and have tried to quit numerous times on my own but the little voice in my head keeps nagging. One of these thoughts has been that I can't not drink if my partner can socially. This also applies to cannabis (which I don't enjoy). I decided on the 2nd of July to quit. The woman in my life has moved away for study reasons. At around midnight last night I discovered that she cheated on me and basically wanted to move on. To be fair I was often nasty to her due to my obsession with the bottle. I'm depressed and anxious and feel out of control of the situation. I didn't sleep all night and had drunk all my alcohol before hearing the news so I was climbing the walls. However because of this site I purchased "Under the Influence" and read most of it before this little disaster. This site and that book heavily recommend aa. I've been sceptical of aa because many people think it dosen't have a high success rate and that most people just simply stop drinking if ti becomes problematic. But this is my best chance to quit and I gave aa a go this morning because I feel that I need support from people and unfortunately my friends are all drinkers so aa seems to make sense. I feel very intimidated by admitting to the extent of my problem but it has to be done and the people at aa were very nice and not pushy. One of the blokes attending said the problems with my ex-girlfriend may be a blessing in disguise and that it would be very hard for me to quit if I'm with another drinker. I think he may have a good point. Still I'm very scared of the prospect of losing her and I know alcohol has caused major problems in my relationship but I feel the relationship is not salvageable. I feel if I can survive this and stay sober I'll be lucky. Thank you everyone on this forum for your support and without this site I'm sure I wouldn't be in aa today.

scootinbabe

welcome. keep coming back. aa has done wonders for me. the ritual and routine and the friends are what makes my program successful. be willing--it sounds like you are.

under the influence is a good resource. reading all i could get my hands on really helped me.

best of luck. sounds like you are doing all the right things and are off to a good start.

CarolD

I'm glad to see you here...Welcome!

I understand what you mean about
drinking friends ...
when I drank thats who I hung out with.

In AA I have found new friends who share
the same goals and lifestyles
that recovery gave me.

You too can find a new healthy life
Blesssings

CarolD

You might want to see your doctor
regarding de tox as it can be dangerous.

I went off to find this...

http://www.well.com/user/mick/insomnia/

Hope it helps...

needtobefree

If you've been drinking heavily maybe check out the home detox services available in your area, or maybe see your GP. I'm doing a home detox atm and it's working out ok. Some sleep would be nice though eh.

Shaneo20

Thank you everyone for your replies. I am a little worried about the detox but hopefully I'll be alright. Through the week I usually drink abut 2 litres (half a gallon) of wine or 12 or more beers @ 5% alcohol each. These figures roughly double on the weekends. I have gone without grog for 2 days in a row a few months ago (the longest period in about a 5 year drinking span) and managed with only body tremors. I haven't had a drink for about 16 hours and only really have the shakes and a bit of sweating. One of reasons I knew I had to quit was that in the "Stories of Recovery" section some people drank substantially less than that and considered they had big problems and I certainly identified with them. I'm about 100 kg (220 lbs), I know everyone is different but based on the above information is it likely that I'll go into bad convulsions or hallucinate? When is the worst danger period? 24 hours or so? Would it be alright just to have someone around such as someone from AA? I feel as though I sort of detox regularly because I go all day without a drink but I sure do appreciate the first one in the evening. I really want to avoid using some sort of drug to help with the withdrawal.

CarolD

Hmm..
I suggest you read this link

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-expect.html

I posted factual info on page 3
on the dangers.

It's just impossible to predict how this
will go....

GlassPrisoner

Yeah, it's hard to tell what will happen. We're all different, and body weight, amount of time drinking, quantity ingested, etc seem to have little or nothing with how bad the de-tox is.

One thing I know for sure us the de-tox gets progressively worse the more times you do it. Don't ask me how I know that

I suggest seeing a Doctor. At the very least read the what to expect thread, then see a Doctor. I white knuckeld it, as many have, and to be honest, I got lucky. I could have stroked out or had a seizure....

Shaneo20

Thank you for that Carol. I think the information you meant was on page 4. I'm quite worried but I think I'll be alright if I have someone. I've got a meeting that goes till 9 pm and that will get me to the 23 hour mark. By then I should have some indication of the extent of my withdrawal symptoms and if I feel way too uncomfortable I'll seek help. I quit once in 2001 after 2 weeks of straight drinking at levels higher than those mentioned above and couldn't sleep for 3 days and had bad tremors. It sounds like the hallucinations would be awful to experience.

Taking5

Welcome. One thing that I have found helps with withdrawals is to eat, even if you aren't hungry.

Shaneo20

I also find forced feeding helps. Might have to get a pizza tonight after the meeting. On the suggestion of an AA member I've bought b vitamins and hopefully they'll correct deficiencies. I am really determined to get this monkey off my back especially since he really is getting heavy now.

GlassPrisoner

Remember Shane, that getting through de-tox is just the beginning. You're not going to magically never want to drink again, and will power alone will most likely not be enough to stay sober for any signifivant period of time.

As far as the eating, your body will tell you when it's hungry. And it WILL tell you I couldn't keep anything down my first 3 days...Vitamin B is good, and lot's of sports drinks like Gatorade. Are you cramping ?

For now, though, hang in there, it gets better.

Spiritual Seeker

Today is the beginning of a new way to live. This is it and you are ready. The 1st step is admitting that you have a problem and you've done that. Go to as many AA mtgs. as you can, i.e. daily. This is a positive step. How exciting.

Shaneo20

I'm not getting any cramping yet, but my blood pressure must be up because I feel rather hot in the face. The shakes are manageable. At the moment I don't feel hungry but I hope that I can get something down. I've tried willpower and failed. I had a hard time accepting that AA is going to have to be a BIG part of the solution. I feel quite depressed from the garbage with the now ex. I just can't get over her doing such a thing even though I probably deserve it in more ways than one. We've been together for years and it is a big change. But I vowed to quit today before I found this out and I don't think I would've gone to AA early this morning without finding this out. I don't want to let grog get everything in my life and this latest thing has just shown me how out of control my life is and I MUST regain control or keep spiraling. I'm so glad I found this forum. I am going to have to post regularly to stay on top of alcoholism. Thank you everyone for your support.

Shaneo20

Spiritual Seeker I think I'll go daily or twice daily, it is not as daunting as I thought it would be and it is kind of fun. I have no sober friends and sitting around the house leads to my wallowing and drinking. I live alone so I've got to change this pattern and getting a group of friends that have been through what I'm facing just seems so logical. I am really determined and I'm turning myself over to God as I am completely powerless without Him.

Spiritual Seeker

You sound optimistc and willing!!! I've come to learn that the best teacher and motivater is PAIN. So your gal did you a favor because this is what it took to get you to be willing to change. Get a sponsor early on. Work the program, cause it will work if you do.

Shaneo20

I want to try for 90 days of AA with hopefully more than 90 meetings. I know a sponsor will help to keep me on track but I've got to get into church. It has been so long for me since I've gone and I've lost so much of myself. I told myself that drunks don't go to church and kept telling myself that I'll attend after I dry out. This is a mistake and AA showed me that your spirituality is fundamental to recovery. I've be so wrong. Better late than never.

GlassPrisoner

We all did (those that go to AA). I did. I was gladly mistaken about AA.

GrouchoTheCat

Hi Shane,

I think it is great that you are going to AA. In the end of my drinking I found that the only way I can remain sober is by attending AA, getting a sponsor and getting active in the program. I've 7+ months sober, the longest in 15 years! It's a miracle.
Good on ya mate!
and welcome

Tazman53

Shane trust me........ AA works if you work it!!!! It sure sounds as though you have a good start on things.

Number one suggestion I will throw out there is to see your Doctor ASAP, the DT's/siezures/hallucinations can set in as late as the three day mark of detoxing. There are numerous things that can kill one detoxing, super high blood pressure is one of them. I went through medical detox, at the three day point they had to up my meds because I was starting to get the shakes and this was after 3 days on anti-convulsion drugs, they had me full of blood pressure meds as well as sedatives of some sort.

In regards to AA, well I drank for 40 years, tried stopping on my own for 10 years and failed miserably every time. The last thing they told me when I got out of detox was if I wanted a chance at long term sobriety my best bet is what you are doing now, go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor. I have been sober now over 9 months and thanks to AA am also happier then I have been in over 30 years.

In regards to a sponsor, start off asking someone to be your temporary sponsor, this will allow you to seek a permanent sponosr and still have some one to guide you along. AA saved this old drunks life and a lot of other things dear to me.

Good luck to you Shane, keep in touch, SR is a tremendous help. It sounds as if you are ready to work at AA, if you are willing to work AA it will work.