Tazman53

Shane glad to hear you got smokey back....... BTW there have been times I have needed more then one meeting in a day, I have never heard of any one going to to many meetings.

parentrecovers

keep posting, shane! k

Shaneo20

Today is day 10 and I'm feeling good. The morning AA meetings are an excellent way to start the day. Tazman you are right about not being able to go to too many meetings but I'm sure I was supposed to miss that particular meeting. Anyway I hope my abstinence continues relatively smoothly. I still get the guilty feelings and a sense of loss regarding the ex but I'm sure I could never get off the grog and the cannabis long term if I were still with her. Not that she was necessarily a bad person and drove me to drink or something similar, just that she enjoys such things (albeit more moderately than myself) and I can't stand her being out of it and me sober. I just keep reminding myself of this every time I think of her and that basically the way the relationship ended put a definite finish to us, which I probably needed for my sobriety. I still love her but understand that I've got to love and look after myself more so and that my sobriety is paramount otherwise nothing good will come of my life. I feel lonely but no where near as bad as I'd feel without the the AA fellowship.

Yours in sobriety,
Shane.

BaldHeadedJohn

Glad you're doing well, Shaneo! Been off the board for a few days, glad your cat came home. I could leave all my doors open all day and all four of my little pain-in-the-fur-balls will just sit there with a dumb look on their faces.

Glad AA seems to be doing you good. For me, it's also the fellowship and support the really help. I enjoy these forums greatly, but it is really the one-on-one that's helping me the most.

Glad you're sticking around.

Merry part,

BHJ

sad75

Hi Shane,

Congratulations on day 10, as a newcomer not long behind you, you're sobriety so far is helping me, seriously. I enjoy hearing about your progress and your posts make a lot of sense, a tough journey indeed but we are all here and that's the main thing for all of us.

Hugs and well done for staying sober, despite the difficulties you've faced so far. You're doing great mate. Stay strong.

sad75

ps meant to say glad to hear you got Smokey back! I adore kitties but can't have any as my landlord won't let me

Tazman53

Shane I agree that not going to that meeting was meant to be, missing a meeting is not the end of the world as long as your head is screwed on straight. You really sound as though you are doing very well and you have you priorities straight. If you are like me you will one day have that old urge smack you upside the head like a 2X4, be prepared..... I was about 2 months sober and had 5 different things hit the fan in one day, the 5th one is what came very close to being the one that I would drink over.

I was so mad that I said out loud in my truck..... "F**** it!!! I am getting a beer!!!"! What stopped me? A number of things, one I did not want to throw away 2 months sober, two I started to say the Serenity prayer over and over again, three I called my sponsor and told him what was going on....... by the time I got hold of my sponsor it felt as though I was drowning and he was the life preserver I needed and he was there. Within a few minutes I was shaken, but no longer had that need for a drink. For that I have to thank my HP, because he truly was the only thing standing inbetween me and a drink, he held me until I could get ahold of my sponsor and regain my sanity!

Be ever vigilante my friend, always keep in mind that alcohol is cunning, baffling, & powerful!!! If you drop that vigilance you may one day be staring at a drink in your hand wondering to your self.... "What the hell?"

Shaneo20

Tazman you are so right. I had a dry spell for a few months and eventually caved in. When I went dry then I didn't utilize AA. That was in 2001. Since then my drinking has escalated and I know I have to be very careful. I want to stay sober this time. I'm sick of being broke. I'm sick of feeling terrible. I'm sick of missing Mondays and even Tuesdays. I'm sick of walking around all the time taking half breaths in case someone smells alcohol on me. Most importantly I'm sick of being a completely different person, a person that I would not ever want to associate with when I'm sober.

I've lost so much due to this insidious chemical but I know I have my whole life ahead of me. Vigilance is my only defense and with people like yourself on this forum Tazman as well as the people in the fellowship and the all important HP hopefully I can stay on the sober side of life.

Cheers everyone,
Shane.

GrouchoTheCat

Hi Shane,

It sounds as if you are doing pretty good!

Glad you found your cat, I have 5 and believe it or not one of my cats is also named smokey.

Stick close to AA, it works for me!

Shaneo20

Day 11 and things are looking good. I finally got myself a sponsor. He warned me that he will ask me to do things that I mightn't like but I'm willing to go into this full steam. From the meetings I've been to I know that those who have relapsed almost entirely blame their failures on not working the steps. They refer to themselves as "dry drunks" and that they never attained sobriety because they didn't lose the character defects that eventually led them back to the booze or otherwise made life terrible. I don't want to go down that road. Some of those that relapsed were dry for over 2 years. They then had to restart all over and had to accept the 12 step principles after who knows how many years off the wagon. I am actually a little excited about this. I am looking forward to ridding myself of years of built up garbage but from what I gather this is going to be difficult.

Best wishes,
Shane.

needtobefree

Congrats on your progress, you're doing great. It's really interesting to hear how others are doing. I'm on day 13, it's going well. Sounds like you've made some really important steps into sobriety :0)

Shaneo20

OK day 12 and another dangerous Friday. When I get through this weekend that will be a fortnight. I am meeting my sponsor around lunch time and I'll ask what coping strategies he recommends. So far I feel reasonably good. I've just got to stay positive and take each day as it comes, good or bad.

Have a good weekend everyone,
Shane.

nakur

Hey Shane, way to go! Day 14 here

If you have problems during the weekend you may want to try disulfiram.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disulfiram

It's a drug that will make you sick if you drink alcohol. It works for about 2 days, so once you take it for example friday, drinking during the weekend is not an option anymore. You have to take the decision not to drink just once every 2 days instead of thinking about it all the time. It works for me.

Shaneo20

Thanks nakur, but I really want to find long term solutions to avoid relapse. I don't feel that I'll immediately grab a drink at this point. I really am looking for some type of activity that I can look forward to. My social life was centered on alcohol and I just need something else. Congratulations on your soon to be fortnight.

Tazman53

Congrats on hanging in there and going to your sponsor on this, he may know some local things going on that you may enjoy. The more friends you make in AA the more things you will find to do, sober people do a lot of fun stuff. Another alternative may be doing some sort of charity work, they are always looking for volunteers to help out.

Shaneo20

You know Tazman, my mother suggested charity work last night while we were talking on the phone. I sort of dismissed it then but great minds think alike so perhaps I should look into it. Anyway I made it through Friday night so this is day 13. I've got some work to do today so that will keep me occupied. I am really looking forward to Monday as that will be two weeks completed.

Shane

Shaneo20

Day 14. When Monday morning arrives I will be two weeks sober. I had a good day at church today and I feel I am starting to fit in. So far this is the longest I've gone without alcohol since early 2001 and I feel empowered.

Thank you everyone,
Shane.

needtobefree

You're doing great! Leep up the good work, it's good to hear you are doing so well :0)

CarolD

Very good!

Shaneo20

I made the fortnight. This is day 15 and things look good. I am thinking less and less about the ex and more and more about my future. I send out a MASSIVE thanks to everyone on this forum for supporting my quit. I really feel this 2 weeks was a huge accomplishment for me. I know the road ahead is long and is going to be bumpy at times but I feel that with the support from AA and soberrecovery I can make it.

Thank you so much,
Shane.