letitgo

Now i am more confused because the perception is people are turned off from AA because they feel its like a cult. At least i have read these views online. The meetings I have been to have been very inviting. I didnt feel they were pushing religion or the steps on me. I am going to check out another meeting tomorrow. Its beneficial being around others that have the same affliction and understand.

Johno1967

You will find a strong secular following in AA. Follow your heart, I read a lot of that anti-AA literature as well and it turned me off. In the end I decided to ignore it and try the steps. Three years laters and still sober.
BTW we are never cured. If you ever think you are, try a little controlled drinking.

harry71

Letitgo,relax. At 71 days I could not find my ass with both hands and an ass map!!!! Questions like this rattle around in our heads in the beginning because it seems too simple. It's not "completely give your self to this simple program"
Easy does it .

letitgo

I don't think its easy. I feel its going to take time. But i am going to brain wash myself to fully understand i have only given up wasted time, money and horrible hangovers. Miss nothing from alcohol.

Keep it simple
Dont drink or smoke under any circumstance 24 hours at a time.
I have lost nothing by giving these items up.
I dont want to be having cravings and rough patches 30 years later. I dont want to romance the stone per se and take it off the table permanently. Thats my hope/wish right now. I have no desire to try and control drinking. It controls me and i cant control it. Abstinence is my only solution.

tomsteve

blimd faith.....EXACTY!!!!
seeing the program worked for others gave me that blind faith to work the steps, which led to faith, which led to trust my God.

i think its rather common for people fresh to recovery in aa to question it all. i did it. it can be good and bad. paralysis by alalysis can occur. there were many things i had questions about i had to simply let go of- had to get it from my head to my heart that the answer wasnt necessary.
wild thing was quite often when i completely let go, the answers to some of the questions came.
and the answers i didnt get?
i didnt need them.

it truly is a simple program for complicated thinkers, which being so simple i feel is why we can question so much about it- it dlesnt seem right something so simple can work so good.
but it does!!

tomsteve

welp, that there, imo, is due to misconceptions/misunderstandings of what a cult is. some people feel that since people are sharing their own personal experiences with the program and theGod of their understanding they are having it shoved onto them. they are listening to whats being said, but not hearing whats being said.


"I dont want to be having cravings and rough patches 30 years later. I dont want to romance the stone per se and take it off the table permanently. Thats my hope/wish right now. I have no desire to try and control drinking. It controls me and i cant control it. Abstinence is my only solution."

if you work for it, the craving, compulsion, and obsession will,be removed. took me about 6 months before made 24 hours without thinking about alcohol and prolly a year for the craving, compulsion, and onsession with alcohol to be removed. it no longer exists for me. im not fighting it nor am i afraid of it. it just does not exist any more and will remain that was so long as i maintain my spiritual condition.

letitgo

This is exactly my mistake last year. I was a dry drunk. Sober but not fully committed. Its so oobvious now how addicted i was/is. Wanting to be sober but not shut the door on alcohol. I have slammed it shut. I admit i can not control myself or actions if i drink. Step 1 done. I think our meeting tomight is a step 1 meeting also.
I thinked that irked someone would be strugglimg 30 years later. I guess it also depends where we are at in our addictions also.

letitgo

Went to another AA meeting. This was by far the largest one so far. They had a speaker and we broke into small groups. I do not have a sponsor and I am not sure if i will go through the steps. It was a good meeting about the first 3 steps. I will attend some more meetings. It does feel nice being somwhere with people can relate. I am still very impartial to SR hands down.

sugarbear1

AA and SR helped me. AA steps helped me to have a new perspective and SR is a daily plan to continue staying stopped for me....

Those steps need not be feared; they help us see ourselves more clearly

Bird615

Doing those steps are what relieved me of the obsession to drink. They changed my outlook on life enough that I didn't need or want to drink anymore. It was not practicing those principles in all of my affairs that made it easy to throw my sobriety away after 30 years.

Blind faith is exactly how I did it when I first got sober in AA. I saw the people in the rooms smiling and laughing and all without having to drink and I wanted that. So even though it was confusing and I had so many questions, a gut feeling told me to let those things be and not worry about them. I tried my best to do what was suggested and not let all that confusion get in the way of it. I figured that if I did what they all did, maybe it would work for me, too. I was so afraid then of drinking again that it wasn't too hard to do what I needed to do.

Having sponsors helped me a lot because they were able to explain things to me so that they made more sense. If I was having a hard time and had thoughts of drinking, or just having a problem in my life that I couldn't figure out, they could give me practical suggestions on what I could do about it so I wasn't left floundering on my own limited resources.

letitgo

Joanne, thank you very much for sharing that. Thanks all for your support. I am still working my program. I need to incoporate exercise and meditation everyday. AA maybe a perfect fit with my travel schedule because there are meetings in most places all times of the day. Once i finish the Allen Carr book i am going to read the big book. I want to stay open minded. I know last year when I relapsed i wasn't all in. I still was obsessed with the drink.
I was considering therapy but it might be more beneficial to get a sponsor. Drs or masters professionals know what to say from the medical books. I think its more beneficial to speak to someone that has been through the trenches. I felt good that someone approached me and took my number. It might be beneficial to just have an AA buddy to bounce things off as well.

I think.blind faith is a huge thing. I do worry alot about the future and if my family and I will survive this or that. We always do. The unneccessary worry makes me feel like sht. So i will give blind faith a try. No matter the circumstance we face we always make it through. Sometimes ahead and sometimes behind. Things always worknout in the end. Its hard to remember that alot of times.

skg

"There is a God and you ain't it, and IF you're confused? It's day. Make it night right now. Come on."
Teresa F., St. Thomas, USVI, 2008

I was told to "fake it 'til you make it," which equates to, "Came, Came To, Came to Believe," and I relied on The Principles (Honesty, then Hope, THEN Faith) because faith is not blind in my personal experience. In fact, it's very very active, (step 11) and has to be vibrant in order for me to continue to use it. And only if I work at maintaining that relationship as I was designed to receive.

Thank God for AA and thank AA for God!

Peaceness...

Bird615

Yes, I "Came to believe", but my faith was blind at first because that's all I had to go on. It was an "Okay, I don't know if I believe this or what I'm even believing, but I'll give it a shot" kind of thing. In that sense, I think "fake it till you make it" is similar to having blind faith.

Over time it's developed into very much more than that--it's now a trust I know I can rely on and it's something that keeps growing and developing. I don't worry and obsess over the future much at all anymore as long as I'm practicing these principles.

SoberCAH

These are good posts and questions.

AA has worked for me since I walked into a treatment center in September, 1988.

For me, I attribute my sobriety to God and AA (which I regard as an instrument of God), in that order.

My religion fits like a hand in a glove with AA.

I hope you hang around and let us know how you are doing.

Berrybean

Good point.

I ventured into the brave new world of attending meetings while away from my home group and neighbouring towns. It was great to go to meetings at the other end of the country - it's like I have friends everywhere now! (Just ones I haven't met yet). I wish I'd been brave enough (and good enough at map reading) to locate and attend one of the English speaking meetings in Berlin when I was there for a hen weekend earlier this year. That would have been very useful.

Ken33xx

Several points:

1. I don`t believe there need be a one size fits all approach to AA. I tend to be flexible.

2. The program of AA can be as simple or as complicated as you make it. All depends on the individual.

3. As far as someone struggling with sobriety after 30 years I`m sure it happens. This summer I heard members with 17, 19 and 23 years go out.

AAaaron

People with time in AA arent "fighting"the thoughts of drinking.
They are enjoying life.

More meetings,less internet.

sg1970

I have no issues with alcohol at this moment. But if I were to hit a bad spot in life I would rather hit it with people I've been in recovery with for years than alone.

letitgo

Still just under 3 months. Relapsed at 3 months last year. I still feel fragile so i want to do whatever it takes to not relapse again. Check out some more aa, read more books, execerise, walk ect.. i just dont want to be in the viscious cycle again
I have worked so hard to get here. Still having cravings and thoughts of going on secret romantic getaways with my ex lover alcohol. But i just cant. Sign me up for a soap opera lol

Bird615

I still feel fragile too, but I know from experience that if I keep on the path I'm on, (meetings, talking to other members, practicing the principles/steps, taking care of myself) those thoughts will fade. One day at a time.

I'm remembering the way it started to work before was that I could no longer consider drinking the same way I had when I was still in the problem. Then, I couldn't remember all the pain that went with it. Now I'm finding once more that while I may still be having moments of contemplation, it's impossible to have them without a clear memory of the associated pain. That's how it was the last time I got sober and eventually those momentary contemplations became just passing thoughts that were easy to let go of.

Sounds like you're doing good.