Fusion

Yes, my sponsor was insistent that so called my alcohol'ism' was a result of a trauma. Couldn't be further from the truth, I was fortunate to enjoy a happy childhood, loving and stable upbringing, family and friends, No traumatic events whatsoever. I only experienced trauma as a consequence of my actions/inactions when deeply addicted to alcohol. I began drinking excessive alcohol to celebrate. I was on a fast-paced career ladder with a glass ceiling that I was determined to smash through. Worked hard, played hard, used alcohol to celebrate a great day or to unwind after a stressful day. It became a routine, a habit. Few days a week became daily.

I also know folks who sadly, had traumatic events in their childhood, despite which they didn't become addicted. My sponsor and other members were so convincing, that I almost considered hypnotherapy, for regression to find any hidden traumas. .....what a horrid situation I was in. So glad I broke free and discovered AVRT.

I subscribe to the view that I drank too much alcohol for too long and my body used its inbuilt mechanisms to compensate, such that tolerance increased and I drank increasing amounts. Alongside my brains inbuilt mechanism to achieve homeostasis and keep me safe and happy, my brain adopted alcohol as essential for quelling feelings, from ecstatically happy to deeply depressed.

What started as the occasional celebratory drink, became a more frequent chilling out, went on to become a stress reliever and as the negative effects of increased alcohol consumption became more pronounced, it was a vicious spiral into ever increasing amounts.

Eventually I became physically addicted and the daily withdrawals ensued and ensured that I drank each day, to stave the withdrawals off.

I've studied mindfulness, attended Buddhist courses and knew the concept that my thoughts and feelings don't require acting upon. But it was only as a consequence of personifying the brains addiction to alcohol and its means of transmitting its wishes to me (the Beast and its AV); that I was able to separate IT from me. The me that desperately wished to stop drinking, despite which I continued.

Had I not discovered AVRT, I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever, that I would've drank myself to death.

Fusion

Jazzfish, Happy New Year and hoping that it brings you health and happiness!

jazzfish

Thanks, Tatsy. I hope you have a great new year as well. I am enjoying the new year so far, and looking to change my morning routine to include fitness more than reading the internet. It is 5:45am as I am writing this while drinking coffee - not every morning has to be fitness!

Fusion

Hello Jazzfish, 5.45am, wow! I also wish to build-in a fitness routine......I've spent years with posterior on the chair whilst browsing Internet 'stop drinking, stop eating garbage, stop procrastinating, start excercising, discover the real me, path to enlightenment' and discovered mounds of fantastic material; but I never put it into action. It's amazing how cutting out alcohol has generated within me a zest for living healthily, bodily and spiritually.

After reading your reply today, I dug out, cleaned, bought and then descaled my long forgotten coffee machine! So thank you for replying. The coffee was a few years old, but nonetheless tasty.

I would add that I also found at the back of the same cupboard, some empty cans and bottles. I had thought I'd cleared the house. It's so saddening to realise how low I'd sunk.

I've been over-eating massively the last few months (binging to be honest) which I felt was almost a substitute for alcohol. I've just downloaded and read a free book by Dr. Glen Livingstone, "Never Binge Again". I was surprised to discover that it uses the AVRT concept, although significantly adapted, because obviously eating is a necessity (unlike drinking alcohol) and as a postscript he mentions AVRT and recommends the technique for what he calls the 'black and white' addictions such as drugs and alcohol.