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I think I will make this little corner of the internet my home

Old 12-13-2014, 11:48 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Marchia in Aeternum
 
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Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
Well I may go as far as here be sober people ..
fair enough

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Old 12-14-2014, 07:52 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I'm impressed with all those who could just quit by deciding drinking is not an option anymore. That approach didn't work for me. Time and learning new things about alcohol addiction was vital. I wonder if there's just a difference in people's personalities and thinking styles that make quitting instantly easier for some but not others.
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Old 12-14-2014, 08:05 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I found SR in July of 13. My first day here I saw mention of RR and their AVRT, took the free crash course on their site and went to a brick and mortar and found a copy(last one on the shelf) of Rational Recovery The New Cure for Substance Addiction by J Trimpey.

I resonated with the pov and 'methods' or ideas presented. I have been sober since that day. That was not the first day I thought I was deciding to quit drinking. I had a 30+yr dysfunctional relationship with alcohol prior to that.

I highly recommend that people struggling with addiction, of all personality types look into it, based solely on my own experience.
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Old 12-14-2014, 11:23 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by lovesymphony View Post
I wonder if there's just a difference in people's personalities and thinking styles that make quitting instantly easier for some but not others.
I think your onto something here. Culture, socio economic circumstances, ethnicity, personality, sex and age may pay more of a part in what does or doesn't work in becoming a non-drinker, non-user or in my case Non-gambler than we think.
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Old 12-14-2014, 11:57 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by samseb5351 View Post
I think your onto something here. Culture, socio economic circumstances, ethnicity, personality, sex and age may pay more of a part in what does or doesn't work in becoming a non-drinker, non-user or in my case Non-gambler than we think.
I would think not, because wouldn't the converse mean that those factors would indicate for more addiction,or more members of those identified groups to be addicts?
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Old 12-15-2014, 03:44 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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dw, i hope you know I was referring to myself as the screwball among us.
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Old 12-15-2014, 04:22 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Thanks Jazzfish! And thanks to all who have shared their experience with RR. My story is dwtb's other than the date. Great minds think alike!
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Old 12-15-2014, 05:22 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by lovesymphony View Post
I'm impressed with all those who could just quit by deciding drinking is not an option anymore. That approach didn't work for me. Time and learning new things about alcohol addiction was vital. I wonder if there's just a difference in people's personalities and thinking styles that make quitting instantly easier for some but not others.
To be clear, I didn't just suddenly decide alcohol wasn't an option and quit. I went through a decades long process starting with the state of recovery and alcoholism in the mid 1980s. I acquired a large number of ideas about what was "required" to recover and stay sober. The reasons aren't important, but I came to believe that my sobriety would be delivered to me from some factor that was external to me. I was stuck by this belief for a long time. It wasn't until I fully accept that my sobriety was going to be determined by my decisions and my actions that I began to question so many of the other beliefs surrounding recovery. So, there is a whole lot of background leading up to me "just" making the decision that drinking wasn't an option. I wish I had been taught this back in the 1980s.
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Old 12-15-2014, 08:38 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I agree it was a process. Most of my experience prior was with AA-35 yrs. I don't believe alcoholism to be as cut-and-dry as I used to. It's complex, but it's only there if I take a drink. Minus the alcohol I'm a recovered alcoholic. Everything else is just living skills. The doubt I built from AA's perspective was that I had done the steps diligently and drank anyway so thought I was ignorant or not holding my mouth right. I know more now and my understanding is still growing but the big plan was kind of a relief by addressing the very thinking that supports a drink for any reason by first naming it and dismissing it as irrational.
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Old 12-15-2014, 09:50 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Trach lol
I got a hard exterior shell too! and a cloaking device
If I get pissed(american) you'll know it, and as always please call me on anything that smells like bs
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Old 12-15-2014, 01:43 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by lovesymphony
I wonder if there's just a difference in people's personalities and thinking styles that make quitting instantly easier for some but not others.
Easier? I don't know that I would use that qualifier. Quitting once and for all can be accomplished by anyone, I believe, but I won't say it's always "easy".

I do see what you are saying, but rather than something inherent in one's personality that makes them able to quit successfully with finality, I really think it's more what one is conditioned to believe, either about themselves or about whatever affliction they have, that has the greatest impact. It's like the chained elephants...remove the chains and they will still not run away. They will remain captive only because they believe they are.
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Old 12-15-2014, 01:56 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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soberlicious I can attest to that. Like Amy Winehouse I didn't wanna go to rehab, recovery road , programs what have you. I was different, they were wrong, I wasn't that bad, my life really sucked ect ect blah blah. But somehow I still implicitly accepted the premise that the cure lay on that road, and whether I was consciously avoiding it or not that is where it was , and since I chose not to go that way I was affectively doomed.
Taking off the chains I fashioned and walking away didn't even appear as an option, whodda thunk it could be?
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Old 12-15-2014, 02:05 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Amazing thread here. Great posts everybody. I've never really been taught this possibility until I decided to research it yesterday. It really resonates with me.

Thanks!
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Old 04-08-2015, 04:38 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Bumping this to remind myself of what I truly believe. I got off this new path and started letting a lot of old ideas and doubts back into my head. It didn't do me any favors.
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Old 04-08-2015, 06:21 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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It's all bout da base(foundation), no treble, da base da base
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Old 04-08-2015, 06:46 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Hi all... I watched my Pop die from the drink and all of his friends slide away... my Hubby because of his morphine addiction.. has anger issues. and then I have teary issues.. me I stopped because it was killing my ability to care for my children and my life was becoming unsafe.. and my kids mean more to me then life itself.. I think you have something there on teh personalities and thinking styles.. for stopping the problems.. but toss it in the air and this group will give a great set of answers and thoughts. and maybe just maybe that is why we are all here together.. instead of sitting alone with our thoughts. prayers to all and love ardy...



Originally Posted by lovesymphony View Post
I'm impressed with all those who could just quit by deciding drinking is not an option anymore. That approach didn't work for me. Time and learning new things about alcohol addiction was vital. I wonder if there's just a difference in people's personalities and thinking styles that make quitting instantly easier for some but not others.
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Old 04-08-2015, 09:48 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
For me, the most important thought process was to understand that my sobriety was completely my responsibility and that the motivation and commitment were going to have to come from inside me. For a long time, I expected it to come from something external such as hitting a particular bottom, appealing to a higher power, watching certain movies, reading a certain book, or adopting a particular approach. It wasn't until I finally accepted that if I wanted this thing, then I was going to have to do the work and make the right decisions. That doesn't mean those other things can be valuable sources of support, but none of them will do it for you.
I know this post is a bit old, but since you resurrected it. I agree wholeheartedly that recovery comes from within. Also as far as bottoms go - bottom is when you make a choice. Outside circumstances might help you to make that choice, but we all have to make a choice (unless of course we are locked away somewhere with no access).

Alcohol and drugs changed ME PERSONALLY in a number of ways. Now I abused the heck out of myself for a long time. It messed me up physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, broken promises, relationships, etc. The difficult thing for me in the beginning was to make that choice with all of the physical, mental, and emotional things I was feeling. I (that is right ME) still had to make that choice - no one else was going to make it for me.

Once I was able to get out from under the physical withdrawals (from Alcohol, Heroin, and Methadone) the choice didn't come with the same mental gymnastics that came early on. I just knew it was the correct choice so eventually didn't become a choice at all.

I guess that being said I could leave the forum and never come back. Now that the choice has been made I still have the trauma and mess to deal with as well as just trying to live day to day life the best way I know how. I can again choose any number of ways to deal with it and lots of people deal with trauma and loss. I still get a lot of great insights from the forum and some ideas that I might not have thought of. Today it is about bettering myself - not about drugs and alcohol so I still CHOOSE to come here.
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Old 04-08-2015, 02:13 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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It's good to see you, jazz!
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Old 04-10-2015, 12:28 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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I'm glad you're sticking around, Jazzfish!
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Old 04-10-2015, 02:47 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
Better when never is never
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Thanks. I'm not sure how the old habits crept back in, but they did. Somehow, the Big Plan had morphed into the Big Decision, and I was hoping that simply saying the words would keep me sober. I was recently reading a business book and it mentioned that making decisions is easy, it is the management of implementation that is critical. A plan is what guides my actions to implement that decision. Of course, I made the connection to my own action toward my Big Plan. The Big Plan is not a collection of magic words. It is my well thought out response to any urge, craving, desire, request, invitation, daydream, or thought that tries to introduce drinking as an option.
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