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I think I will make this little corner of the internet my home

Old 04-10-2015, 08:28 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
The Big Plan is not a collection of magic words. It is my well thought out response to any urge, craving, desire, request, invitation, daydream, or thought that tries to introduce drinking as an option.
Yes. Well put.
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:22 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
I'm not sure how the old habits crept back in, but they did. Somehow, the Big Plan had morphed into the Big Decision, and I was hoping that simply saying the words would keep me sober.
What sentences and feelings were going through your head during the five minutes up to the very moment you swallowed the first gulp of your last drinking episode?

Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
I was recently reading a business book and it mentioned that making decisions is easy, it is the management of implementation that is critical. A plan is what guides my actions to implement that decision. Of course, I made the connection to my own action toward my Big Plan.
After making your Big Plan, what actions need to be implemented towards it?
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Old 04-10-2015, 10:15 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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I found tools to be critical for me. Not just an intellectual decision, "I won't drink no matter what", that's fine but I was never able to control my drinking by decisions and iron will, and I couldn't stay stopped that way either. What worked was, specific actions to follow in response to changing situations. The usual suggestions: distract myself with something else, leave the room, leave the event, go for a drive, listen to music, change the music, call someone (that never worked for me, does for some), go to a meeting, go to an online meeting or forum or chat room, etc. I think the reason this is effective is that it helps rewire our brains, so to speak, train ourselves so it becomes automatic, much like you train in sports so your actions become rapid and fluid and don't need intellectual guidance. So the next time a trigger comes up, or even a random thought, it takes a bit less effort to just pass it off.
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Old 04-10-2015, 10:44 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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My High School Volleyball Coaching Wife used 'Muscle Memory' Decades ago. Approach and Spike that Ball on full, but cognizant, 'Autopilot'.

Tiger Woods supposedly drove 500 Golf Balls every morning at his Career peak. Same Technique.

Adapted to not Drinking, anything from snapping a Rubber Band on your Wrist, to grabbing your Cellphone to read or listen to some helpful Mantra, to 'freezing' motionlessly and Meditating for ~10 seconds might be usable alternatives. Rinse and repeat...

Pick and rehearse a few [or many] such lil maneuvers, and work them. New Default Responses will settle in over time.
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Old 04-10-2015, 04:13 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by GerandTwine View Post
What sentences and feelings were going through your head during the five minutes up to the very moment you swallowed the first gulp of your last drinking episode?



After making your Big Plan, what actions need to be implemented towards it?
I'm not sure on the first part, but I would guess it was either seeking pleasure as a reward for hard work, or seeking pleasure as relief from stress.

There are only two actions to consider drink or don't drink. Don't drink is the action to choose - a non-action really.
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Old 04-11-2015, 10:59 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
What sentences and feelings were going through your head during the five minutes up to the very moment you swallowed the first gulp of your last drinking episode?
I'm not sure on the first part, but I would guess it was either seeking pleasure as a reward for hard work, or seeking pleasure as relief from stress.
When I decided it was against my better judgement to keep eating man-made sweets, that wrongness of doing so came up more frequently during those moments just before I ate some more man-made sweets.

If you believe drinking some more is against your better judgement, it's hard to imagine that wrongness of doing so never came into your thoughts or feelings in the five minutes before you swallowed that first gulp of your last drinking episode.

What I did was to take the plunge, and I made a Big Plan for man-made sweets; and it stands in my mind rock solid along side my Big Plans for alcohol/drugs and caffeine.

Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
After making your Big Plan, what actions need to be implemented towards it?
There are only two actions to consider drink or don't drink. Don't drink is the action to choose - a non-action really.
With my Big Plan for alcohol/drugs I discovered I was unable "to consider drink or don't drink". The Big Plan took all that away - permanently. I wanted the Big Plan to take that choice away, and now I know the Big Plan does take that choice away. When the thought of beverage alcohol comes to mind, I simply do not know how to consider drinking it. I just can't.

The idea that "Someday It Will Be Time to Consider Drinking Again" is just me reading the headstone on the grave of my Beast of Booze.
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Old 04-12-2015, 09:27 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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My big plan took away my choice too, I wasn't sure at first that it could or should be that simple. When I stop analysing my motives long enough to consider life since my big plan it truly captivates my thoughts about my return to self-abuse through intoxicating substances into such neatness with the belief I have that I never now drink or just I don't drink. I never drink is my safety net against reopening past, ineffective, faith based on lies. E.g. One won't hurt, just on special occasions, only on Fridays, twos my limit, bit stressed? Very stressed? Depressed? Stressed?
I am thankful of the power the A.C.E. revealed for me.

I made my choice with regards alcohol over 16months ago and am grateful for not having to make the choice again.
So happy I came here when feeling the stress in my life and the strange nostalgic yearnings for a past before I 'had a problem' due to the recent lovely weather opening a picture of lazy sunny days wasted in beer gardens, fields, parks and anywhere with my friends (who I no longer have coz they were/are just drinkers) it's a wonderful place for me, sitting in the sunny garden with my cold coke listening to the singing birds and feeling amongst truly understanding

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
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Old 04-12-2015, 09:31 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Feeling, at least, if not friends, you people (yes! YOU!) complement this area of my life where I need to be amongst the like minded folk here at SR... Ah, yes, that's the bit where YOU come in SR rocks better than a noisy beer garden' lol

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
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Old 04-14-2015, 10:51 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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jazz, I see you have listed your sobriety date as 4/14/2015 - that is today.

Maybe a fictitious quote is in order for today. "Failure is not an option."

It kinda has a ring to it eh?
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Old 05-30-2015, 04:45 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
Better when never is never
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After reading the long thread yesterday, I decided I like the idea of having a single place to reflect on my recovery.

One of my biggest problems is my impatience with the healing process. I want to be better immediately - not a little bit, but all the way. Intellectually, I know that can't happen (the decision to quit can, but the physical and mental healing take time). I tend to focus on only the short-term progress I have made and struggle to consider all the progress I have made.

I need to remember some writing advice, that if I write one page a day at the end of a year, I will have written a complete novel. If I keep waiting for the perfect conditions to start writing, at the end of a year I will have an unfulfilled dream.
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Old 05-30-2015, 05:03 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Welcome
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Old 05-30-2015, 07:35 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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hey Wooly, welcome to yourself. Glad you found us!
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Old 05-30-2015, 08:21 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Hey jazz! It's good to see you!

And welcome wooly!
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Old 07-19-2015, 04:25 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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Just checking in. I backtracked a bit and had to do some modifications and remind myself of some basic truths. I had to wrestle again with letting go of old ideas about what is required for sobriety, but also do a deeper exploration of the full range of impacts my drinking has had on myself and others. I am doing really well at the moment.
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Old 07-19-2015, 07:47 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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Hi jazzfish! Good to see you and glad to hear you're doing well. Don't be a stranger!
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Old 07-19-2015, 08:11 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Jazz,

I step away from this site often especially when I upset myself in response to other's posts. But I did read today and found your thread. I've been sober a good spell and it didn't become comfortable to me until I reprogrammed my thoughts on alcohol. RR helped me, but even if I put all thought of drinking on my AV, the thoughts were still there. It wasn't until I saw alcohol for what it truly is... A poison without a single real positive trait, that it became simple not to drink it. I have Alan Carr and Jason Vale to thank for my change in perspective. When I am around others drinking all I feel now is compassion for them as they are in the alcohol trap and don't even know it. I feel nothing but gratitude that I escaped.

I hope you find what you need to keep you sober and happy.
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Old 07-19-2015, 10:26 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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Hey Jazzfish!
Hope all is well and trending even better
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Old 07-24-2015, 05:24 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
I have spent a lot of time bouncing between different recovery forums (both this site and others). What I have been finding is that the more time I spend in the halls of "recoveryism" the worse of I am. This is both in terms of time and ideas. I have been making an effort to shed many of the ideas I feel I had been (wrongly) conditioned to believe.
The bolded text here sure hits home. After two weeks of IOP therapy for substance abuse (alcohol) I think I'll be dropping out after today.

Ever since I started, I've kidded my wife that during/after these sessions you feel like you need to go out and drink immediately...not the kind of feelings you would expect or want from a therapy session.

I think I'll be spending more time here in Secular Connections as well...thanks.
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Old 07-24-2015, 08:11 AM
  # 59 (permalink)  
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Hi Jazz and all.. wow love this to bits.. you all help this old lady so much.. my hubby is now off the morphine completely.. and we are dealing with the body trying to rebalance itself.. so Jazz prayers kiddo so many prayers.. hold tight for this group helps me to be centered and balanced.. and life Kids and Beans is just Nuts without sprinkles... love to all Ardy... German Fest in Milwaukee Starts today Guten Morgen to all...
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Old 07-24-2015, 03:58 PM
  # 60 (permalink)  
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Thanks, Ardy. I hope everything goes as well as it is able.

Toadie, thanks for the note. It has been more effort than I anticipated to shed the old thinking. I am in a good spot now. It's funny how has my brain heals and create uncomfortable or unfamiliar feelings, the beast always pipes up to drink and stop the discomfort. No way, it was the drinking that is causing the discomfort, not the quitting.
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