lein

Yes Dee, I still call CDs records haha. Remember those music cassette tapes? You always needed a pencil at hand, because they used to get kinks in the tape and unravel in the player and you had to stick the pencil in the hole to wind it back in?

Dee74

Yep I still have several

D

venuscat

^^^ I still have several hundred!

lein

I thought they were museum pieces? haha
I just got the Monty Python film The Life of Brian on DVD, funniest film ever, had it on tape but never got around to getting the DVD until last week, part of my mothers day gift voucher spend.

venuscat

"Always look on the bright side of life......"

Now I will have that song stuck in my head all night. Not that that's a bad thing.

lein

Do you people even have the cassette players to play them on..or are yous just hoarders? haha

Venus, I love that film not just for the humour, but also for the way it shows how ridiculously Christianity was corrupted.
I love the bit where that old bloke is getting stoned to death, for saying Jehovah, and John Cleese says "Don't make it any worse for yourself" and he's "How can it possibly get any worse? haha
And the "Throuw him to the floor" bit...in fact its allll funny haha And I don't even usually like Monty Python

venuscat

Yes and yes.

(I have cassette players, record players, CD players, still have a VCR that I don't use, and of course CD/DVD players on my PC and TV).

lein

I'll look forward to seeing you on an episode of hoarders then venus cat haha

lein

Day 17
nearly 5am and everyone in the house is up. Poor small chap is still burning up and being sick. As you can imagine after 3 night of little sleep for son and daughter-in-law, things are getting a little tetchy here.
Poor small chap, it was only 5 days ago he was singing and dancing on the bandstand in the park. I hope he's better soon

venuscat

Poor little bubs. I hope his fever breaks.

lein

Theres a reason I am relying only on myself to stay sober this time. Although, like I said, doing it in company on this site is good.
For years I used to go on Smart Recovery online. I was really involved there, was a message board volunteer, welcoming new people and helping people use the tools.
Knew lots of members, lots of support
I lived down south and had been sober for a while.
Then I came north for a visit, had a spectacular relapse, and rampaged about the boards telling everyone who was getting on my nerves what I thought of them.
Then I did a post calling the head honcho at the time , JvB, an effing, fat, rhymes with hunt.
Just incase he hadn't seen the post before the moderators took it down, I sent it in a private message too.
Needless to say, banned for life.
I was lost!
So thats why this time, Im relying just on myself to keep myself sober

lein

so do I venuscat x

lynnmarie123

Congrats on day 17, Lein! You are rockin' it!

lein

Thanks lynnmarie, I don't feel like I am doing anything haha
I enjoy working REBT tools again, so it doesn't seem like work. I love experimenting with the ways you can change your mood and emotions with your thoughts.
Its like a hobby haha
And it helps seeing people like you, someone who is sober and balanced and together

lynnmarie123

It has truely helped to do things differently this time (the very last time). I carry around a small notebook for all my sobriety essentials. And being here, having support has been critical. Thank you Lein, you are part of it. You are inspiring.

lein

Thats a good idea lynnmarie, the notebook.
Thats what Im doing, doing things differently this time to what Ive done in the past.
As you are an example to me too, looks like its a mutually beneficial thing then haha
I haven't lost touch with all the people I knew for years on SMART, I still have some ofthe sober ones as friends on facebook..so we still help each other even now
Although after the last 3 years of practically constant boozing, I think they see me as something of a lost cause

lein

Why Your Self Talk
Will Affect Your Life

Words and thoughts have their own energy, including self talk. Everything you think and say affects your personal vibration, and the way you feel.

Try this little exercise for me. Say the sentence below to yourself (in your head is just fine). Say it several times, and when you do, notice how it makes you feel. Notice the sensations and reactions in your body. How does it affect your mood? Give it a try.

"I'm so useless and pathetic. I'm no good at anything, and everything goes wrong for me. Nobody loves me that much - why would they? And what if I end up with some horrible disease? The cancer rate these days is really high - it would be just my luck! And I'm always broke - I never have any money. It's not fair! Gee, I hope the plane I'm going on next week doesn't crash."

Okay, so now how do you feel? I notice my body suddenly feeling very heavy after saying this just once.

Now trying saying the following sentence to yourself several times:

"I am so proud of myself. I put my best effort into that assignment, and I know I'll do well. I'm so grateful for all the wonderful people around me, and I really appreciate all the little things in my life. And what a beautiful day it is outside today! I feel great! And I'm really excited about that plane trip next week."

After saying this to myself, I feel wonderfully light!

I copy and pasted that, but you can actually feel yourself getting heavier reading the negative one!

lein

Now this is going to sound horribly selfish, but Im very very early in my recovery, and sometimes I have to stop reading posts and threads that I can FEEL are putting my body and mind on a downer.
And the positive ones just lift me right up!
And thats why I think it helps me writing on here when something is bothering me...it sort of gets the weight off of me and into the writing.
I hope when I am further on in my recovery, I will be able to help people who are very down...but I have to get strong in my own recovery before I can do that

lein

Thats another thing I have done differently this time too.
Stopped the punishing self-talk about the past.
Before when I have stopped drinking, after a week or so, I get stuck in a negative mind rut, about how I drank when my daughter was younger.
I was always fully functional, I didnt dink everyday, I tried to hide it best I could.
But she still had a lot to put up with, for a child.
She says I was loving and supportive when she was a girl, but I know I could have done better. And the time wasted hungover when I should have been enjoying it with her. I was never one to lie in bed with a hangover, but the energy I could have given wasn't there.
And these thoughts would overpower me with negativity, practically mentally disable me. And put me in a hopeless, I can never get that time back mode.
Then the drinking would start again.
Ive realised this time, all the times I have gone back to drinking through it, is yet more time wasted!
This time, I won't allow any negative thoughts to take root. I can't control what pops into my mind, but I don't have to nurture and grow these negative thoughts. I can crush them as soon as they appear using my ABC I can even use a CBA a cost benefit analysis, and I find that helps..as in, what benefit do I get out of mulling on these thoughts and what are the costs of mulling on them.

lynnmarie123

I couldn't read the relapse/ day 1 posts early on which wasn't that long ago. I joined when I was shy of 3 months sober and now I'm shy of 5. Wow. In 2 months the growth is amazing. I don't feel nearly as fragile and I read and even respond to those desparate posts. I think a diary would be helpful, but you are doing that here! I wish I had kept a diary.
Also a gratitude list, which is in my notebook. I make sure to add at least one thing per day. It is very uplifting and possitive.