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Old 04-08-2011, 07:12 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Did you ever have to end a friendship due to a friend's drug addiction?

I did. It was VERY, VERY hard. I no longer have contact with him and it sort of ended badly because he was mad that I bailed out on him about giving money. In my defense, I didn't have the money to give like I thought I would when my paycheck came around. When I met him, he was a "social" drug user which eventually lead to full-blown drug addiction.

I eventually stopped giving money when I realize his stories and the things he told me weren't adding up. He even has told me he has gone to rehab but I highly doubt it. Another reason why I stopped because he would only call when he wanted money Every so often, he'll call mutual friends of ours asking for money, as far as I know, they don't

I happen to run into him with his ex recently and he has lost quite a bit of weight. Personally, I don't know why she still has anything to do with him since he stole thousands of dollars from her. She isn't a drug addict but is an alcoholic, as he is too. I think it might be a co-dependency thing. He has also stolen money from his family. From what I know and have heard, he's addicted to pot and prescription painkillers. One thing I've noticed about this guy is the excessive attention/affection he gave to his ex, he even hugged all his close friends
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Yes, I too have ended a friendship because of addiction behaviors. Back in February, a close friend that I know through the engineering business world got drunk, very drunk, at an out of town conference. He said all sorts of inappropriate and beligerent things to me. Major boundary violation. And that was it. I was done. Period. No discussion.

He called me a few weeks later and said, "Well I probably owe you an apology, eh?" I said, "You don't owe me anything. Your behavior is unacceptable to me and I do not wish to continue this friendship."

Oddily enough, this same friend knew all to well the history of issues I have with AH's drinking, yet still acted surprised that I wouldn't tolerate his behavior!

I only wish I could be as strong with those boundaries with respect to my AH! And for the record, I have no regrets ending the friendship. None whatsoever.
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:57 AM   #3 (permalink)
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It sounds like you are struggling with the decision you've made to end this "friendship". On one hand you understand he was just using you for money but on the other I get the impression maybe you had more feelings for him then just a “friendship”.

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Originally Posted by SarahBear View Post
I happen to run into him with his ex recently and he has lost quite a bit of weight. Personally, I don't know why she still has anything to do with him since he stole thousands of dollars from her. She isn't a drug addict but is an alcoholic, as he is too. I think it might be a co-dependency thing. He has also stolen money from his family. From what I know and have heard, he's addicted to pot and prescription painkillers. One thing I've noticed about this guy is the excessive attention/affection he gave to his ex, he even hugged all his close friends
Water seeks it’s own level, two un-healthy people traveling together thru life. Be glad you are not apart of it anymore. But this is where I guess I sense you may have had some stronger feelings for him, and I am sorry it worked out this way for you. One day you will see your strength to end this “friendship” as a blessing!!!
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Old 04-08-2011, 04:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
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congrats on stopping the enabling behaviour of "giving" him money....

in March 23rd in Melody Beatties book THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO

is about getting flack about setting boundaries...you set them, and they will fight you over them...stand your ground., in your heart, you know you did right...even if THEY dont like it...besides its not your problem if they do or dont, that is for them to deal with...trust me, i know from experience...no one is walking all over me again...(*standing my ground*)
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Old 04-09-2011, 03:47 AM   #5 (permalink)
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May I ask you a question tho... why was it hard for you to stop being friends with someone who lied and manipulated you? No sarcasm or hidden meaning here.. just wanted to know.

Lyn
I loved him. The lingering feelings is the worst after I've been drinking. Theres a country song/video that is playing a lot right now that I can't stand. I find when I put myself out there surrounding myself around other guys, I feel better.
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Old 04-10-2011, 08:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I have, too.
I had a friend that was stoned EVERY TIME I TALKED TO HIM.
No thanks.
I just let him drift away and it was fine.

Sarah,
You have mentioned feelings when you are drinking and soothing/distracting yourself with having men around.
I would suggest you do some personal work to figure out why/how you work. Try an Alanon meeting. They are free and very helpful!

hugs,
peace
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