I have, too.
I had a friend that was stoned EVERY TIME I TALKED TO HIM.
No thanks.
I just let him drift away and it was fine.
Sarah,
You have mentioned feelings when you are drinking and soothing/distracting yourself with having men around.
I would suggest you do some personal work to figure out why/how you work. Try an Alanon meeting. They are free and very helpful!
hugs,
peace