Dee74

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2013-a-21.html

D

wasgone

I looked up AV and read about AVRT today - I really found it helpful. I ignored the beast today.

Dee74

sorry for the delay in opening the new part - internet trouble.

D

guiltyconfused

I know it is part way through July but I think it is time to be on the road to recovery. I cant take feeling this way anymore , things need to change . Here is to day 1 !!

Dee74

welcome guiltyconfused

D

TryingHarder

Hi. I came here in March and put 14 says together. The came back for a couple of days in May. Here I am again. There are some things that are starting to deteriorate in my life and I can pretend a I want but alcohol is 100% behind them.

So here I am. I'm going to see about changing my work hours because there is an AA meeting near work I want to try out. I'm very sad that I can't get it through my head that even though I don't drink everyday, I sure as hell will get drunk when I do. And I'm not very nice anymore when I do.

Dee74

Welcome back TryingHarder

D

Preciousguppy

This is day 8 for me. First time in. I want nothing more than to never pick up another drink.

Ladybug2

Welcome, Preciousguppy! Great job on 8 days. This is a great group. Stay close to here and you will be ok

Dee74

welcome to you too preciousguppy

D

debinsky

Well, I am almost to 24 hours. Today I went to an AA meeting. It was VERY hard. I think I expected this "A Ha" moment and glowing inspiration but it was the first time I have ever said "I'm an alcoholic" and I felt dirty....angry...scared.

I am going to try to go back everyday for the noon meeting to get me through this week. I am having serious cravings tonight but hubby is home, which helps. I dread the night I am home alone & tempted to go to the liquor store....I can almost taste the beer right now

Dee74

you won't regret not drinking tonight when you wake up in the morning Deb - stay strong

D

SoberMarathon

Day 2, again. This time I'm pissed off and determined to not lose the battle again. I know now that my AV is very real and capable of winning me over. Next time he emerges, I need to make some phone calls to the right people and talk through the situation. What's just as clear is my alcoholism. During the past 2 months, the physical and mental repercussions from binge drinking have been severe: sweats, insomnia, mild paranoia, and massive headaches. Even if I wanted to drink, I think my body is telling me that I can't. So many reasons to make it stick. I have been on and off SR since December 2012. It's time to stay dedicated and true to myself and those who care about me.

Dee74

hey SM -

maybe it's the last part you have to work on - my addiction and I no longer have any dialogue...and without me, it can't do nuthin'.

thats a big bargaining chip right there - the biggest.

something to think about anyway?

D

Viperidae

Hi Everyone, I am part of the April group. I am hoping you will let me jump on board. My first attempt when I joined was 28 days. I have drank sporadically since then. That was 28 days without a cig, weed or booze. I was drinking a couple/few bottles of wine every other night. I am on meds and the alcohol just really defeats the purpose. Then at 28 days there were screw ups with the meds and I went really downhill fast, and just drank a lot once a week. So I have stabilized and am trying harder especially after a bender on Thursday that was ridiculous.

I started at a bar, went to the liquor store, drank a bottle outside my house, went out to another bar, almost got killed when wised off some huge dude, had to leave. Then ended up at another place where there was a punk rock band playing. Ended up in a mosh pit. Got knocked over into a stair case and split my arm open. Was bleeding all over. Got kicked out. Went to a pizza place with blood all over my shirt (although I don't remember much about that). Got a massive pizza. Ate half of a 25" pizza. Woke up the next day, blood on my comforter and sheets, all over my arm and shirt. A friggin' sock tied around my arm. Literally felt like I was beaten by hammers. Tried to remember. Opened the fridge and remembered the pizza and visiting the shop. Spent the entire day in bed almost dead. Most of the entire next day. Went out for an hour on Saturday, then just slept. Went out for 3 hours on Sunday then back to bed. Today I am much better. There is a bruise the size of an apple on my arm that is green and purple. What a mess.

So I thought I could relate better to people who are new again like me. I like the April group too, but all the screw ups and now this, I don't even want to say anything there. And that is what happens. I see some of my april friends here, and it's all good. So I guess my date would be 7/12. Let us hope it remains that way.

Dee74

welcome Johnny

D

SoberMarathon

The question is, how do you just ignore it? It nagged me on Saturday and I just let it win without too much fight. Again, I think it was too soon into real recovery to put myself in such a high-risk situation. For the foreseeable future, I'm going to avoid such events and places to see if that makes the difference. I feel like if I can get the first 30 days under my belt, things will only get easier.

serenityforever

Hi I am on day 6 and feeling pretty good. AV almost got me today but I beat his ass Read a lot about AVRT tonight and learned A LOT. I am also seeing a counselor. Looking forward to meeting all of you.

misterritter

End of day 4, just checking in. It has been a very interesting last couple of days for a variety of reason. This strange feeling I seem to be experiencing is happiness. Good night.

Dee74

I guess I just used my natural stubborness SM...and the fear. My drinking had nearly killed me.

Urge surfing was helpful to me too - have you heard of that?

I'm sure AVRT has some suggestions with more general application too

D