Talkinandwalkin

Hey cow and sleep you guys are awesome and I always enjoy reading your posts. You have both helped me big time during my search for sobriety. I was raised by a single mom with no job skills and had older siblings supply me with alcohol and drugs while growing up. I still can't believe someone would ever do that to a kid! I have always had an ok life as far as prosperity and happiness until the wheels fell off during my alcoholic collapse at the end. I could not stand my kids go to a Catholic Church partly for the reason cow gave above. So when my wife insisted we attend church, I picked a non denominational one. I might add I was fervently anti religion due to my rational scientific thinking etc. One day when attending church with my family I went to the restroom to splash water on my face as I was sweating thinking about when I could get my next bottle. I said out loud while washing my face I can't quit please help me! I hear this loud booming voice say you are done! And I quit drinking, smoking everything. When I walked out of the restroom I was a different person. I still went through all the difficulties everyone else did when quitting foggy brain, health scares etc but I did it with a smile on my face knowing someone was looking out for me. In a years time my entire life has went from being a blackout drunk to someone respected and successful in my community. I swear I am the most sane person you would ever meet and I am completely sincere! I completely understand due to past life issues why someone would not want to accept what I am saying. I would not accept at a different time either due to prior issues. I just can't help from sharing when I have had so many blessings.

sleepie

A challenge also Cow, because we are (I am at least) very susceptible to being mistreated. Probably because having my own boundaries was not a concept I was taught in any way and daring to try and have any was severely punished.

I'm proud of my walls. It took a lot to feel I have a right to them.

Is that so wrong?

kittycat3

Not wrong at all sleepie, especially if it's right for you only you can speak to that.

Fake it till ya make it is my mantra on rough days. It's gotten me through many a time when I've wanted to throw in the towel and just quit.

It goes without saying that I am a believer in mind- body connection 100%.

puffy

I like that kittycat, "fake it till ya make it"

Cow

If walls serve you, then I total understand, Sleepies. I had serious walls since I a child. I probable need them to stay safe. But lately I realizing that they also keep lot of life "out" and me "in." So now I want to try to has boundaries, but not so much walls. If I want to feel more, I think is hard to feel stuff through walls, you know?

T&W - I believes you. ...But it only psss me off, cuz I has cry out for help million times, to Jesus, to Lord, to Christ, to God. But no "Kapow" for Cow. Is kind of like when the plane go down and everybody on board praying they hearts out, but only 3 people survives. Like, really God? That all you got? Very glad you get you miracle though. As atheist, I, of course, gonna be prone to say was an aural hallucination generated by you frantic brain/mind state. I very familiar with those from my seizure disorder and know brain can talk to you in way that truly seem like it coming from outside you. But who care what it was, take you blessings and run with it!

I think we has probable beat subject of gratitude list to death. I think just do it in way that feel right to you. For me, that having more of an "appreciation" list, that once in a while feature a very special guest star call "gratitude".

Tooshabby

God, Puffy, that's really bad. Sounds like an excellent move changing doctors. Good for you xxx

Bethany57

I always lurk on your posts Cow because I never feel I have anything really significant to contribute . My heart breaks for you in so many ways and I hope and pray that some day you will find a glimpse of happiness. I have not had an easy life either- but it is what it is. I read this daily and it has really helped me. I just wanted to share this with you.

“ATTITUDE”
by Chuck Swindol
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me,
is more important than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures,
than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important then
appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we embrace
for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people act in
a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on
the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what
happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...
we are in charge of our
ATTITUDES

Cow

Oh hello tiny B, thank you very much for that. Is turning out to be big help to me that I figure out to separate "attitude" from "feelings." I not really can control my feelings or lack their of. But, attitude, I finding, can be shifted at least to some degree by intention, cuz it more of an intellectual decision. It seem subtle, but it making big difference for me. I maybe not has pleasant feelings, but I can has better attitude. (I mean, not always cuz I still human, yes? But most of time.)

I does hope you not fly away again. You has something very important to contribute to us that no one else have: you self.

And that my attitude on that!

Dropsie

Puffy,

You go get the best doctor out there, and they better be nice to you. Or we cow people are going to kick some medical toshie.

I know everyone got a lot of ideas, but I gonna give you one -- when you go get that great new doctor, ask him about immuno-therapy.

They have been using an aids like treatment with success with some forms of cancer when chemo isn't the answer or has stopped working. Maybe completely off base, but its just a question right. The original research was done at Yale I think, but its becoming more mainstream.

We loves you and is with you all the way.

Dropsie

Cow people talking about attitude and gratitude -- if I live and breath. Love it.

I was having a TERRIBLE day on Wednesday and read something that resonated with me.

Being human means that we are not and cannot be perfect, because we humans, and we should not even try to be -- or even to be better than what we are.

So no more self improvement, just be yourself. This does not mean we should not do the thing we know is right, but that is not self improvement, its just listening to ourself.

For me, this is all about looking inward instead of outward.

So I not need to try and be "better" each day, I just need to try and be more me each day, but not the bad me, the good me, but just me. As imperfect and screwed up as I am.

Somehow this said something to me, which is related to attitude I think.

Anything worth doing is worth doing badly, because its just worth doing.

Dropsie

PS. Bethany, that is great. Thanks. You gotta speak up more...

Talkinandwalkin

Cow. I understand totally your point of view cause I have been there before. On a happier subject a couple of days ago was the national hug day! C'mon everyone needs one!

Talkinandwalkin

Actually Jan 21st is national hug day. How cool is that that someone made a national hug day. Wouldn't it be cool if everyone actually did it though!

trachemys

We do it every day here

Talkinandwalkin

Turtles and porcupines can't hug. Entirely different reasons though.

puffy

Thanks Dropsie for having my back! I will look into the immuno-therapy.

sleepie

hi everyone
back from the salt mines again

sleepie

I'm lonley :/

Croutie

Hi Sleepie...how did it go in the mines today?
I am sorry you are feeling lonely, any particular reason or just the way you are feeling today?
You know the Crones and Misfits are here for you and we all think you are smart, funny and a super good artist.... What can we do to help?

sleepie

Hi Croutie I'm just a little bit worn out.
I don't like when I work all week then nothin' to do nobody to talk to on Friday night. Just makes me feel lonely.

I will see some friends tomorrow for a b-day party for their kid.