Mountainmanbob

The last time that I sobered up it was like no time before. Yes, I had sobered up more than a few times in my life. Guess that I took sobriety for granted, fooling myself into thinking after returning to the drink that I could stop yet again whenever I wished with it being no problem. That thought turned out to be a form of self deception to it's highest degree.

It has been well over 7 years since I have had a drink but, I wish to never forget how hard it was to get and stay sober this last time around. It seemed that once again I had gotten in trouble with many of the people around me. And to add to the mix I was also in trouble with the courts yet again.

On top of all of that even though not drinking I was in some kind of a deep fog. Oh-yes, once again I had crashed a vehicle into something and hit my head pretty hard. Plus, I had been mixing things with my booze that I think nearly killed me.

Anyway, for many months in my early sobriety I thought to myself, "will I ever return to normal again ?" It was scary, not drinking but, feeling so out of it. As if I had lost touch with the real world. Meeting with my AA sponsor each morning for a meeting and then over to his house for some Big Book study, as I was stuck in a deep daze for a long time.

The good news, God has restored me to sanity and the world looks so very clear to me today. I do not forget how very grateful that I am.

Here is the purpose of this thread.
Some may be having a very hard time sobering up.
These ones may see our struggles of the past and gain strength.
Others may not truly appreciate their sobriety today.
Let us remember back to what we had to go through so as to get where we are today.

Mountainman Bob

ScottFromWI

I remind myself every day of how i felt the last time. I think it's been key to my recovery, thanks for the reminder for everyone.

Boleo

My analogy is getting sober is like getting a plane off the ground.

Staying sober is like keeping a plane in the air.

And sobering up yet another time is like starting off with a heavier plane.

ru12

I NEVER want to have another day one. It is just too painful to do it again. So grateful to be here and sober.

pulltight

The further I get away from my last drink, the easier it is to forget the problems it caused. Good post!

VikingGF

Thanks, MMB for this!

Mountainmanbob

When I sobered up I had terrible night mare's for a couple of months. Maybe I was suffering from a guilty conscious ??

Seven years ago the Mountainlady was so disappointed with me and my drinking. Today she wears a smile on her face and has much joy in her heart.

For we know what they say.
A Happy Queen makes for a Happy King.

MM

KAD

Being just 47 days sober, all the reasons I needed to quit drinking are still as fresh and painful as ever. As time passes, I know the memory of the pain I caused and the pain I felt will begin to fade. Temptation will return as it always has. I've learned not to expect otherwise, but I've also learned the tools to deal with it. Never before had I recognized that doing it my way has repeatedly led to ruin and disaster. Still sorting out the wreckage...

Aellyce

For me, this is my first sobriety since I started drinking in my teens and after struggling with heavy drinking for ~8 years, and I only have 13 months at the moment so still learning. During those 8 years, I had many periods when I was desperate for quitting, but did not make the effort to learn how to and more importantly, did not truly make the effort to get sober for good at all. Just typically countless cycles of bad or sometimes more modest binges followed by not drinking for 1-2 days afterward, but then restart, no commitment. There was nothing glamorous about my drinking during those 8 years and I very definitely don't want and don't intend to go back to any part of that period. I keep using SR in part to remind me of this and also because I enjoy the diversity and many forms of interactions here.

Always good to remind this, thanks Bob for the post

MelindaFlowers

I honestly don't know if I would have it in me, to go through the PAWS again. Still experiencing PAWS at 8 months. This has been the longest eight months of my life.

Bostonsportsfan

I do the same. I'm constantly reminding myself about 12/26/13 and how I don't want to return to that life. I'll never forget how horrible I felt that day and how badly I wanted something more out of my life.

Hevyn

Thank you! Yes, the memory of our last horrific episode tends to dim with time. I wish I'd taken notes & could remember the awful mess I caused myself & others. Never again.

Della1968

Amen

Mountainmanbob

For sure, that I think would have been a very good idea.

Even though it has been 7 years since I last drank.
Some of the old memories of misery,
still come to the minds eye from time to time.
Most (not all) I will share on this thread.

I just don't wish to ever forget.
Self deception was a big part of my problem.

Bob

Hevyn

It's been 7 yrs. for me too Bob. I did keep my DWI court papers & a few souvenirs from those days. When I look at them it seems they're from another lifetime.

markz

Very easy and simple to stop drinking.

Even harder to stay stopped.

Mountainmanbob

Once again on my last couple of bouts with the liquid devil I ended up with two court cases. I could not believe that at my age I was back there again looking into the face of a Judge. And the torment of what a Judge can do to one is a very scary thing for a newly sober one.

Yes, God got me through that, by the skin of my teeth.

These are the things that I wish not to forget.

MM

IOAA2

The term “REMEMBER WHEN” got me through some tough moments but it worked!

BE WELL

alphaomega

This is me. To a tee. I absolutely can not go through this hell again.

pixy

I first visited this forum in 2007. Got together a year or so, relapsed, got 5, relapsed and now I am heading toward 2 years. I honestly thought that all one had to do was put the drink down. It has taken me forever to get that I was the problem. My head can still be all over the place. I take a small resentment and chew it over for hours, feeling less than, the negative thoughts are overwhelming. Then I hit a meeting, laugh and hugs some friends and I bob back up again. Seriously not sure I could go back to day 1. Having thrown it away a good few times I hope that I am finally learning it is a precious gift.