Mountainmanbob

You remind me of me
Mountainmanbob

Mountainmanbob

I had so many problems this last time sobering up.
I was in trouble with so many different people.
Not to mention the courts, DMV and my insurance company.

Staying sober and clearing the wreckage of my past took a long time.
I never wish to forget the long hard struggle.

So grateful today so as to be sober.
For yes, life is easy today.

MM

kamm

Thank you for sharing. This is so true. I never want to forget why I decided to become sober.

Soberwolf

Great post Bob

2ndhandrose

Great reminder Mmb! When I relapsed after 6 yrs sober it then took me 22 nonstop drinking years to get back to sober life. I don't have that kind of time now!!!

TrixMixer

UaThanks for your post Mountainbob !

Yes it is important for one to look back and recall the struggle . It has been a very long time for me, but always know I am only one drink away from starting that struggle all over again.

I will say this--I made a tape (several) you know how chatty drunks get, right before I gave up drinking. I was drunk, slurring all over the place, feeling sorry for myself , angry, hating what my life had become--still making excuses, but boy is that tape an eye opener. Whenever I thought I wanted to drink again I just turned that tape on and just hearing those first slurred words stopped me dead in my tracks.

I HAVE NOT LISTENED TO IT IN A LONG TIME--THINK I WILL TONIGHT--THANKS AGAIN mb

ChiefBromden

MmB, you just made me decide to go ahead and write the book that I had planned. I had taken notes every day in rehab, for 70 days, so that I could share my "adventures" with folks who consider doing the same. Yet when I was out, my resolve dwindled, and a big part of me wanted to forget, to "move on".

After a year I started seeing a counsellor, and she made me write the first chapter. She liked it, and yet I stopped writing again, because it was so uncomfortable, yes, painful. She was disappointed with my decision.

But you are right; forgetting is dangerous, I need to face this task, for me, and for future "me's".

Thanks for the nudge!

D122y

Thank you Sir. Thank you all that added. I am in full knowledge intake mode. Without SR I would have been doomed. 94 days or 3 months free. 1daat. Ghm.

Hevyn

Trix, I wish I'd made a tape like that. I needed proof.

ChiefB - Great idea to continue with the book. I would have benefited from journaling.

Angelsmiln

This is my longest bout of sobriety for 3 years. Everyday I remind myself of what day one, two, three, and four felt like. It was pure hell and I never want to feel that way again.

Mountainmanbob

Sure beats a nudge from the judge !

Have a nice sober day,
MB

Bird615

I keep a journal and had been recording my struggles to sober up again over the past 4 years. One of my last entries was while I was drunk. My husband also had a picture on his phone of me wasted. He went to delete but I told him not to, those things are a good reminder of how I don't ever want to be again.
And every morning, I am still as relieved as hell not to be hungover. I feel like I've just survived a narrow escape from disaster.

Marjoram

This thread is beyond words something I need to read and reflect on, as I've been struggling to stop drinking for four years. When you keep trying you know you have a problem. Many day ones - too many to count. I'm trying again and not having much success starting. Had 8 days in a row a couple weeks back, and want that feeling permanently. But, all the above posts have given me more hope than words can not express. This reinforces the concept to never give up. Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. I'm praying that I can have victory over the "devil's Koolaid" (as my friend calls it).

Hevyn

Marjoram, I'm glad you haven't given up on a better life for yourself. I'm happy you achieved 8 days & that you want that feeling permanently. There's no doubt you can do it.

I love this thread & the hope it gives, too. I had 30 yrs of drinking - in the end, every day. I now have over 7 yrs. sober. I can't believe I once couldn't imagine my life without it.

SoberCAH

There are no steps (including walking into a treatment center asking for help) I want to take again, there are no growing pains I wish to repeat, and there are no lessons I want to relearn.

If I ask God to help me learn and do his will, try to work the (other steps of the Program) and don't drink, I minimize the risk of having to endure the same pains twice, three times or more.

Mountainmanbob

That reminds me while back in my drinking days
I thought that if I ever grew old
I would be sitting in my rocking chair on the porch
drinking a beer and smoking my head off.

As I think about those insane thoughts today
I see where the devil truly had a firm hold on me.
Helping me believe that was a good happy life.
I was so deceived.

Only long term sobriety has brought me true happiness.

Mountainmanbob

Hevyn

Yes, and growth. I was frozen in time while I numbed myself.

kinzoku

A nice morning reminder. The farther I get from that initial struggle to stop, the easier it is to invent a different narrative where it was all so easy.

Ziggz

Every night when I get in bed, I look up at the ceiling fan and remember when it felt like I was strapped to one of those blades
Slipping drunk into bed, room spinning and knowing I'd be facing a disgusting morning....ugh.

Great post/thread - SR folks always help when I need a shove to stay upright

Mountainmanbob

Let's not forget how darn hard it was to sober up and stay sober
drinking and other things done while high was dangerous for Mountainman
and others






"Daddy, Ran With The Bad Guys"



Things that Daddy did

things that Daddy said,

hard to believe

Daddy's not dead !



Daddy ran with the bad guys

that's what they say,

then the bad guys came

to put him away!



Could have caught a bullet

might have been a knife,

thank you Lord

for saving Daddy's life !



Could have been--

just another widow

left behind,

with a sweet little boy

standing there crying !



Bob Bowling 05-19-05