CallMeJosh

So.. a few weeks into sobriety. I get overcome with this “I don’t care” feeling. Doctors I’ve seen call it apathy and anhedonia. They all want to prescribe some antidepressant.

thoughts?

From the handful of times I’ve gotten sober this is a normal part.. the brain isn’t in withdrawals.. it just doesn’t have the artificial dopamine it’s used to having from opiates and alcohol.

what helps this “I don’t give a rats arse” feeling - if anything?

Oglsby

Honestly, I think the best thing is TIME. You are already aware that it is part of the process and for many of us--it is. Just know it will pass and try to treat yourself well. Eat well, sleep well, and you will see improvements.

Dee74

What helped me in those moments was helping someone else, Josh.

D

CallMeJosh

Great suggestions. I’ll try. Just in a funk. Hate being in this “idgaf” funk.

CallMeJosh

Thought of the day: “how long until I am happy again?”

Dee74

how's it going Josh?

D

CallMeJosh

It’s going. Rough patch. I will get better.. thanks Dee

Dee74

Anytime Josh - all the best for the festive season

D

CallMeJosh

Insomnia again. Worrying. Anxiety. Trying to sleep and cannot.

Dee74

Its tough when your brain wont let you sleep. I usually find that whatever I'm worried about looks better in the morning?

D

CallMeJosh

Yeah. It’s nothing. But now my heart rate is elevated and blood pressure too.. kinda like I ran up a flight of stairs and heart is pounding in my ears.. ya know? Full blown panic attack? Then my mind goes: “no! It’s worse!” This is where I’m at.

Dee74

I find breathing exercises helpful josh - they may take a little practice to work tho.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene/best-breathing-exercises-for-sleep

also maybe give some thought to what they call 'sleep hygiene'?

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene

D

CallMeJosh

Thanks for the replies.. I will check everything out.. and of course run any vitamin past my doctor. Great ideas!

my sleep hygiene was bad last night.. on my phone.. messing around on computer.. and breathing exercises - I will try again.. I’m usually too neurotic to focus on them - although I know they work!

thank you both very much.. amazing how the littlest support feels like the biggest push forward.

biminiblue

Josh, I find that if I get up and do something physical like 20 jumping jacks or 20 squats that resets the vagus nerve - or at least that's my take on it. It's probably about breathing, in the end. You can do some research on how that helps anxiety - but it always works for me and my panic feelings. It's hard to fight it, so the other thing I do is just say, "Okay, I'm having a moment of fear or panic. It is okay, it will pass, and it won't hurt me."

I hope you find your way through. It's definitely annoying, I get it.

CallMeJosh

Biminiblue,

I really think this is the issue. For whatever reason I get stuck with my body stuck in fight/flight.. and sadly it wants to fight. If it chose flight I could get sleep right? Heehee.. I can only laugh about it or I’ll lose my mind.

thank you thank you.. love you Blue.. Dee.. K.. all of you taking time to help. It really helps!

AL48

Josh when i think back to the beginning of this, sleep was hard to come by even though i was constantly tired and my head felt foggy.
Going for a walk was the trick for me. Any exercise that kept my mind busy with other things was a bonus. Finding sleep became much easier for me anyway. You should give it a try Josh. Another thing for me was social media, i have to put the phone away at bed time or i will never go to sleep 😴. I do all the breathing exercises too. Sleep now has become a pleasure only i wake up around 5am these day's.😅.

CallMeJosh

Everything mentioned is exactly spot on.

- probably a bit dehydrated
- did NOT walk my dog like I wanted to
- scrolled Tik Tok on my phone an hour before bed and immediately decided it was bedtime.

then started thinking of the negativity in life.. my moms health, my uncle recently passed, and my heart rate started to increase.. recognized a panic attack.. then realized I had been breathing through my nose for an hour. Then the panic of “I’ve been trying to sleep for an hour!? Great I’m going to be awake all night!”

im sure you see the cycle.. yeah. Bed time rituals/limiting screen time, some breathing exercises.. definitely the hydration issue.

im a mess. I’m still getting my stuff together. I love you all. You guys understand me - and support me.

Dee74

I am sure you will get your stuff together Josh

D

CallMeJosh

Went for a nice long walk with my dog.. he is out! Was only half a mile and 15 or so minutes.. so a brisk pace.

I’ve been taking kratom for depression.. ashwagandha and night for calm.. and melatonin for sleep.

Awhile back I thought the kratom was responsible and was the reason for the lack of sleep/heartrate.

heartrate is steady at 90-100bpm. That is normal, but not for me.. I’m around 75-78. Hard for me to sleep when the pulse is over 83.. I’m weird. I know.

anyway.. thanks for listening.

CallMeJosh

All of this makes me wonder if I’m going thru withdrawals..? Blood pressure was 140/90 and lyre 149/91.. pulse was 102 and 103.. I mean. I have taken kratom for awhile to help with depression.. perhaps I stop kratom and get an antidepressant from my doctor. He wanted me on one.. I was reluctant.

Thanks for your opinion and thoughts.