augustine1

Congratulations on this major step. We are here for you. -Augustine.

RailDawg777

We're coming up on 30 days Sugar!

Who would of thought lol?

Feeling so much better now.

I still Jones in a big way at times but I've already proven that the drug will take over my life quickly.

I sleep better at night. The hydro must have messed with my sleep?

Let me know how you're doing!!

Mklove

I found going to the SMART site and do some of the exercises there were really helpful. Just answer to yourself some of the questions and it causes enough positive thought along with reality check that time goes by. That's my experience

sugarangel

Hey guys...
Well, I am doing ok today, for the most part. I'm having cravings, too, Dawg, but not too bad.I thought I would be totally lazy today, but I ended up doing a few things around the house that needed to be done. I feel pretty good about that!! Now, I am watching Netflix and eating candy. Too much candy!! It looks like freakin' Willy Wonka's chocolate factory here!! lol
You sound good today, Dawg, and I am so happy you are finally getting some real sleep!! It's still a little rough for me, but I think that may be more because of the Xanax.
Yes, Dawg. Almost a month. I am so proud of you, and utterly amazed I have made it this far. I really couldn't have done it without you. or SR.
I'm pretty sure of that!!
Ok. Back to Netflix and M&M's!! The new s'mores ones are awesome!!

finaltime

proud of you guys. this is what it takes. daily reprieve. reaching out. keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!

RailDawg777

Definitely improving by the day as far as energy goes.

Didn't realize how much the hydro depresses the system.

Sugar I know you're still struggling. I am too but that Xanax really takes a toll on you.

Beating both is just plain awesome!!

Let me know how you're doing.

sugarangel

Hey Dawg,
Congrats on 30 days today!! It is today, right? I'm a little lost, lol. I woke up thinking it was Monday!! I swear, some days...
Anyway, I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you. And in awe, too. You have done so well, and have had such a good attitude through all this. I think you have done amazing, and I just wanted to tell you that.

I'm doing ok. Having a quiet day. Doing a lot of thinking. About the past, and all the bad stuff that's happened. Thinking a lot, too, about the future, and what's next. I think I really need to stop thinking so much. Lol. I'm going to make dinner, read a little, and try to sleep some. That's my plan anyway.
When do the blues go away? I hate feeling depressed like this. And yesterday , I felt pretty ok. Idon't like this emotional rollercoaster very much.
Well, I guess that's all for now. I will check in later.
Again, great job on 30 days!! So cool!!

RailDawg777

Sugar women will sometimes go down into the well.

How long? It depends. I've seen it happen for a week, two weeks and more.

I always tell my wife I'm here at the edge when you're ready to come back out.

I never try to pull her out. It just takes time and I wait patiently.

Maybe this is happening with you? It's hard to define except you withdraw into yourself.

Men don't go into the well like women but we do need to go on what the Australian Aboriginals call a "walkabout".

Time away from it all to reconnect with our primal instincts of exploring and hunting.

I go alone into the wilderness at least a couple times a year.

I'm thinking of you Sugar and know it's hard. We're all right here for you.

Get some good sleep and write soon!!

finaltime

sugar I get this way, and more than I would like too. A person from the program with 34 years of sobriety once told me to mark on a calendar what I am feeling each day. Then see the pattern. Know that with our woman parts we get this way every month, and with you still coming off the drugs it will be more noticeable. Once you get around 90 days or so and the stuff is out of your system it will happen less and less. You are doing great, same as raildawg.

I have to tell myself over and over this too shall pass as long as I don't pick up. I also know that if I get any sort of exercise it helps the bad moods pass. But I also know that with newly coming off drugs we think of exercise as brutal....

keep up the good work.

teatreeoil007

Here's a song for you S-Angel. It's the Kenny and Amanda Smith band. The vocals are soothing and the guitar work is very "warm". (smile)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvOekTablck

sugarangel

Loved the song, T. Thanx. They remind me a little of a band called Nickel Creek. Ever heard of them?
Anyway, beautiful song!!

sugarangel

Hey Dawg,
How you doing? You ok?
I am SO depressed. So over feeling not right ever. Does this EVER go away? I just want to be who I was before I started taking the pills. I want to stop waking up in the morning hating another day. I want to be happy again. God, I really, really hate feeling like this.
I made an appt. to see therapist on 9th. They do outpatient addiction treatment one on one and group therapy. Plus a mental health counselor. I always make plans to get help, fhen never go. I need to this time. If I don't get some outside help, I'm not gonna make it. Period.
Well, another day to live through. Survive. Whatever.
Sorry for the blah post.

OpioPhobe

Sugar - it absolutely goes away. The thoughts that it will never go away and things will never get better is part of the addictive thinking. What you are feeling right now is just a feeling. It will pass so long as you don't use.

It was when I started feeling like you are describing that I realized what addiction really is. I would ask myself "why the hell did I stop using if this is all life has to offer?". It was terrifying to realize that just removing the drugs and counting days wasn't enough. I had to take an active role in improving my life or I would eventually use again. Going to NA/AA helped me tremendously. Outpatient was somewhat helpful for me.

You have already done a lot by admitting to yourself that you can't do it without some outside help. Good for you. My pride kept me from admitting that for a long, long time, and I put myself through absolute hell before I got to that point. Make the plans for counseling / OP and stick to it this time.

You can do this. You can get through this tough period. You can get to the point where life isn't just surviving, but actually living.

sugarangel

Thank you OP. Really. Just thank you. I needed to hear it gets better. I desperately did.

finaltime

how are you guys today?

teatreeoil007

You're welcome. I'm glad you like it.

Oh yeah...I've actually talked to the fiddler in Nickel Creek in person. She's really friendly, seemed sweet and was approachable. She and the guitar player are brother and sister.

Peace, my friend!

teatreeoil007

Thank you for your honest post. I understand, I really do. And, I know that you know you really really need to keep those appts. Today and each day in the meantime, do the best you can, even if you personally do not feel like it's very good. Sweetheart, that's really all any of us can do...is do the best we can....Here is another soothing song with a good message. By Kenny and Amanda Smith.

"Do The Best You Can"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ash3bFwHHTs

teatreeoil007

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSM5vA1YZQA

".....everything's gonna be alright; it's gonna be okay..."

Wailin' Jennys

OpioPhobe

Sugar - how are things going today? Hope things have started to get better.

Dawg - haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing?

RailDawg777

Sugar!!

Girl I'm so sorry I didn't respond yesterday.

I have NO excuse!!

I want you to realize that you're on the RIGHT TRACK.

Your body and mind are playing tricks on you so you'll use.

You took away something your body and mind LOVED even though it was destroying itself at the same time.

Nothing wrong with outside help. I went to AA for 5 years and that was so helpful.

Keep writing and keep your appointment on the 9th. You need to talk this through and see if maybe there is something you can take that isn't addicting.

Please don't give in and use. You got me through some really hard times and I'm so thankful you were right there.

So I'm here right now for you.

love ya!!