Lightning Bug

I usually post in the newcomers forum because I did have an alcohol problem so I can relate.. But alcohol was secondary. I don't consider myself an alcoholic. I am an addict who turned to alcohol when I couldn't get prescriptions. My DOC are benzos. But I abuse anything I get.

So honesty is best, hi I'm Bug and I am an addict. Today I took 4 of my seven year daughter's ADHD meds. I have been sober for 77 days. I have been clean too, but today I just took 4 pills and swallowed them while forgetting all I have learned in those 77 days. I spent July in rehab. I just tossed all I learned away and took the pills.

I am disgusted. Full of shame. I really took my daughter's pills. I feel awful.

I want to get to know other addicts. So I came on over here to say hello and tell my tale of regret.

Elle126

Oh Bug, am sending you hugs. Elle 😢

Lightning Bug

Thank you Elle. I needed a hug. I am just so mad at myself

Dee74

Too much beating yourself up. Use that energy for new plans and strategies LB

D

Lightning Bug

You're right. I have to stop beating myself up and focus on my program.

Thanks Dee.

MIRecovery

In AA meetings i identify myself as an alcoholic addict because that was s what I am. My sobriety date is based on me being both clean and sober. I have taken my step son's ADHD prescription as well while not drinking which is what landed me in my first rehab. I still have my wife keep medications under lock and key.

Great for being honest

Soberwolf

What your new plan x

Lightning Bug

Added 2 things to my plan.
I am going to an NA meeting on friday. And next week I start therapy with a psychologist.

Soberwolf

Excellent x

finaltime

I have been where you are. And I don't know what happened when I throw all my time away. It's bigger than us. Forgive, be honest, tell someone. you will be okay.

Delilah1

Hi Bug,

You are always very encouraging to others on here, I hope you will be that way to yourself as well. I know you have had some rocky times at home, but is it possible for your husband to keep the medicine locked up and completely away from you?

finaltime

Morning Bug. whats the latest. what did you do yesterday after this happened. we are here for you. I have been where you are at more times than I can count. I remember one time I stole pills from my brother while we were on vacation, and he only had 3. so I took one. The rest of the trip I was a mess, figured he would find out for sure and I had been doing so well. I just couldn't fight it. This is when I think the disease is bigger than us and if we don't have the tools in place before we are around or when we are around drugs we are not able to fight the urge. I mean who would want to ruin their whole vacation by stealing a single pill, and I was such a mess when I saw the pills in the bathroom. It was all I could think about. How I could get he pill, how I could play it off, then after how I could deny it??? I had been caught so many times stealing from my brother and his wife and my wife parents. Lord. I am so glad today I don't have to do that. I can be in there house and not search for their pills. I am trusted by them.

You know what though? All of that was part of my journey. When I look back now I can see how sick I was. I was sooooo sick. I didn't have any idea how sick I was.

we love you man. Don't be hard on yourself. Get honest.

Lightning Bug

The latest is nothing! I used my tools and got past it without a thought. Of course I won't forget about it, but I won't dwell on it. Blip on the radar. No thoughts of taking more, finding my DOC, or drinking.

What confuses me is that I am on that med myself. I have my own, it is doled out to me, but it is not like I don't take it everyday. The only thing I can think of is that it is doled out to me and kept in a safe. I filled this prescription, so it was in my greedy little hands. Old habits I think. Just snuck up on me.

I am not considering it more than a mistake.

Thanks so much for your support!

Lightning Bug

Thanks D, I try to be there for everyone.

The med are usually locked up, along with mine. It is just that my husband can never take her to the doc, my schedule is flexible. I was supposed to just take the script home, but I thought I could handle it. I have a theory - scroll up for it. It is in my last post.

Lightning Bug

My appointment for CBT starts tomorrow!

Elle126

Brilliant Bug, things are on the up and up! You got this. Elle x

SoberCAH

Glad you're here with us, Bug.

Thanks for sharing your situation with us.

tekink

mistakes aren't a problem if you can learn from them! it's when you repeat that same mistake over and over again. sometimes you can't trust yourself but you know your self will be trying to convince you otherwise!