Kaehil

Okay so recently I've gotten interested in ashwagandha and other natural herbs so I took 500mg of ashwagandha and then I took a nap and thej I took another 500 and then searched the Internet for permission to take another 500 and once finding the answer I wanted j took another 500mg. My mindset was like if I'm gonna feel something off of the 500mg I better take the other 500mg to make sure I feel it so I know of just relapsed or no or something like that. So 30 minutes or so after I felt a little benzo'd out and then about 2 hours after which is apparently the peak I felt even more dazed and benzo'd out. After I got home I took my night meds and another 500mg and then watched some tv and went to bed. Recently I have been searching for ways to feel relaxed like I've been trying to get as relaxed as possible, drinking chamomile tea, taking ashwagandha etc. So I guess my question is did I break sobriety and is it safe to still continue to take ashwagandha but just take 500mg maybe twice a day? Instead of the 1000mg? Because I did like the relaxation but I don't know if that is my addiction talking or not. Do I still have 200 days clean or do I have to start over I didn't really want to run to my sponsor or people close to me because I'm afraid of hearing that I relapsed.... I know that kava kava is considered a relapse... so I haven't done that. I also started taking a nootropic called intellux, it didn't produce any high feeling though. I go to 12 step meetings daily and I am proud of how much clean time I have am I still clean?

Kaehil

I also recommended it to my house manager for his diabetes cause it's apparently good for blood sugar I recommended it because I felt guilty and didn't want to be the only one using it :/

biminiblue

Welcome to the forums, Kaehil.

The way you are taking it sounds like an addict to me.

Guilt and trying to get your house manager to take it? What does that sound like to you? Check your motives.

Being an addict was a way for me to change how I was feeling. It could be cigarettes, dope, alcohol, food, sex, shopping, gambling. Using something to change how I felt was the yardstick for addiction. Reread your post with that in mind.

Kaehil

So what do I do

biminiblue

What do you mean? You've already done it.

The decision about whether or not to be honest about it to your recovery friends is yours to make. I think understanding this behavior is key to long-term recovery.

It's just a little blip on your recovery - I wouldn't beat myself up about it. Using any substance in order to get a "feeling" is a big red flag. I do this with cookies: I know I'm going to do it and I always do it so I don't buy cookies very often. Stop using it in an addictive way and move on with this knowledge. It may (or may not) be dangerous to take in large doses, I don't know. You caught yourself and had an "A-Ha" moment. Well done.

Kaehil

Got my answers how do I delete this thread?

suki44883

We cannot delete threads. You can PM an administrator or the forum moderator and ask that the thread be closed.

Kaehil

How do I contact them?

Kaehil

How do I contact a mod or admin?

Dee74

We don't delete threads.
The answers you got here may help others reading in the weeks months and years to come

Dee
Moderator
SR

SoberLife90

If you were trying to get high then that is a relapse.

AnvilheadII

so I took 500mg of ashwagandha and then I took a nap and thej I took another 500 and then searched the Internet for permission to take another 500 and once finding the answer I wanted j took another 500mg.

IMHO, that IS drug seeking behavior. if you value your sobriety, then it is time for some rigorous honesty. and STOP taking "herbs" in order to get a special EFFECT.

Soberwolf

Welcome

Cleansing

I do Narcotics Anonymous, and it's been suggested to me to read "In Times of Illness" pamphlet because I currently take psych meds. The pamphlet also has solutions for those on pain medications and over-the-counter supplements.

In that pamphlet it says that clean time is an issues for each of us to resolve individually with our sponsor and our Higher Power.

It helps to write about feelings and motives before sharing with Recovery friends. If you have people you can trust, I would suggest asking questions.


Most importantly, don't pick up just for today and try your best in your regular affairs. I'm also learning to be easy on myself.

Lyoness

I use herbal medicines and supplements for a variety of problems and hadn't thought of it this way before. I do agree with others that it is your intent and how you think about it. It does sound more like drug seeking behavior than just using supplements as they are intended.

Would it be an option for you to see a Naturopath or Herbalist who could guide you in the safe use of herbal medicines and supplements? Ashwaghanda for instance is often used to help repair the adrenal glands and usually in a formula. So it might be an herb that could help you used with guidance and in an appropriate way.

Do you have any support in your recovery too? Meetings or counseling, etc.? Coming to SR is a great place to get support. Hang in there.

ETA--I reread your post and see that you go to meetings daily. Have you talked with your sponsor or others there?

Kaehil

Thank you all for the replies. I went to a holistic doctor yesterday and he swapped out the bottle I had for a different brand name I took 400mg today and feel fine. He also gave me suan zao Ren tuan (jujubee). I'm ocd and sometimes react a little bit too much. One time when I was trying to be sober I thought I relapsed by eating food that had a vodka sauce in it lol.
Doing better now and I don't consider it a relapse I consider it a lapse and am just going to take the ashwagandha 400mg X2 daily and listen to my holistic guy. Thanks for all the replies

Timebuster

Wishing you the best, Kaehil.

Hugs and prayers
TB

CobraCommander

its a minor setback, lesson learned, move forward. you already sound like you regretted it so no need to beat yourself into the ground over it. at least it wasnt a 3 month long binge or something.