Olivilo

Day 17, not so pleasant. Last night I went to bed without taking my ambien, and OMG had the worst nightmares. Woke up at 2am with my joints hurting like I'm a 95 yo. After laying for an hour feeling every joint in my body I took half of ambien. And fell asleep till 6:45. I'm scared I'll be addicted to my sleeping pills. But if I don't take it I will never fall asleep.
Ugh I hate what I've dont to myself if I never took the stupid pain pills I'd never have to go thru this endless hell!!! I just want to feel normal everyday like I use to, but I guess today is not the day, light anxiety and joint pain for hrs now. I'm suppose to take the kids to Easter egg hunt today and all I want to do is fall asleep for a week or two!

trinity77

Make yourself get up and do things. I know it is easier said than done, but keeping yourself busy will help in two important ways: it will keep your mind off of using, and a long day of activity will help you get better rest tonight. I know it is tempting to crawl back in bed, I have been guilty of doing that myself, but that will mess up your sleep pattern and contribute to your sleep problems. I have had insomnia myself. I swear by benadryl and melatonin. Also, being out in the fresh air will help alot too. Good luck!

BFD

I know that feeling. I hate not having the rush of energy I use to get. I can get nothing done. I just want to lay around and watch tv and it does not help that it's a holiday tomorrow. I have sooo much to do around the house and can't seem to get motivated. Not to mention I brought home some work to take care of and haven't even looked at it yet. I know there's no magic fix, but does it have to be one good day then one bad day? I have good hours and bad hours every single day. I hate it. Hang in there. You're half way through the day and that's another day under your belt sober!

Olivilo

Thank u, after laying and feeling bad for myself for about an hour I've had enough, showered, put bright make up on, pink shirt pink lipstick, straightened my hair. Making myself look better made me feel better, now it's time to go to the neighborhood Easter egg hunt. I always feel so bad that my kids have to suffer for my mistakes. I'm going to give them the best day, and I am going to make myself smile thru everything. God bless all of u, hope it's easier today than yesterday and much better tomorrow than today!!!!!
Happy Easter!!!

BFD

The great thing about those kiddos is they really have no idea what's going on, and in the grande scheme of things, they won't remember these days. At all. They will remember having a smiling happy mommy at all their functions. An interactive, engaged mommy. Not a mommy who gets sick every week when she runs out of roxy and gets dopesick. You are doing wonderfully. Good for you, perking yourself up! I'm listening to old music and perking up too, but if I wasn't I would DEFINITELY try putting on cheerful colors and doing myself up. In fact... I'm gonna go do it anyway! Have a nice time outside. Hugs!

Olivilo

BFD u r awesome! Thank u made me feel better

1Dayatatyme

So good to see your post today!!! I just got home from work and am grateful for the posts showing we can do this!!!! Let 's keep on taking it one day at a time... I hope the Easter Egg hunt was fun!!!
Happy Easter!
1day

Stilltrecking

Olivio... i remember reading your day 11-12-13 posts when i was on day 7-8-9 and thinking jeesus how do you get through it. As i am just a few days behind you you seem to foreshadow the good and bad that i feel on those days, yet you give me inspiration that my day 17 will come and i will have the courage and strength to get through it. I am on day 13 and lord i can tell you it has not been easy. Yet i still find refuge in knowing that other people are struggling with the same thing... summoning the energy that just is not there, and the will to fight of the urge to take a pill to make an "easter egg hunt" so much easier. Keep pushing... and trust me your kids will appreciate everything you are doing even if not directly, through your increased presence and sincerity that even I at day 13 am starting to notice in myself