georgiagirl5

Oh and I understand about feeling emotional too! I am with you there. I am off Paxil for a week tomorrow. I also have been on 4-6mg of Ativan for about a year and I want off. My doc switched me to low dose Tranxene for a few weeks to taper off. Every single emotion that was supressed by these drugs is now coming back and my moods are literally changing by the hour. My husband must be so annoyed with me! And I am only a few weeks of hydrocodone which I think tampers down emotions too. I keep saying my brain is like "what the heck?" So I am so emotional too. And I keep getting migraines, so I understand the headache too. But in the long run, I am better off without these drugs in my system because I really want to have a baby. Anyway, I am off the chart emotional too.

babyblueeyes39

Ok so today is not so bad. I know I'm not through the storm, but at least at this moment it is tolerable. I hope each hour gets a little better. This is day 4. I have had a lot of support here and plan to stay on here. Georgia, I'm so sorry your going through this with benzos. I went through it back in april and it was hell. I was prescribed xanax for 2 years due to surgical removal for ovarian cancer. I had a hysterectomy and I was nothing but crazy due to lack of estrogen. I experienced severe mood chaanges and anxiety when quitting. My chest used to get a real funny pins and needles feeling, then my heart would do this fish flop thing. It took a good 10 days for me to be able to sleep. I hope this doesn't discourage you. I feel a lot

craigtmccoy

I'm new to this but I hope al is well for evereyone ,,,,,,,,I just wanna stop drinkin an messing my life up..

craigtmccoy

Where an when can I start meetings so i have some support.

babyblueeyes39

Craig, I'm. Recovering from opiates, but I'm glad you are here. You have made a step in the right direction. I had to reach out for support too. At the bottom of the page you can find AA meetings in your area. There are also a lot of RA here as well. They will reach out to you. I'm the daughter of alcholics. I know what it does to a person. All my prayers go out to you for wanting to stop. Any addiction is hardto beat. You can do this. If I can help in any way, please let me know. I also needed people to talk to that undersood. We are all alike just different addictions

georgiagirl5

Hey there, glad you are feeling better for this moment! Talked to my doc today and because I have come off of hydrocodone and Paxil in the last month, we are not going to mess with the Ativan right now. It is too much, and I am worried it could cause me to relapse on opiates because my mood was so bad. So I am back on it. My husband is a "strict by the book" AAer--I actually admire him for that as he has 16 years of sobriety--so he will not have a baby with me until I have at least 9 months-1 year of sobriety from opiates. That is why I was interested in getting of Ativan, but we still have plenty of time before I get pregnant. I am just not strong enough right now, I can admit that, so the Ativan will have to be next to go but not right now. Following that will be Ambien, which I think is going to be horrible, I have been on it forever. But, hopefully as I get stronger in my recovery (and I am) I can face those things with more tools in my toolbox than I have with just a month off opiates. I hope you keep feeling better. I am very religious and spiritual too (I know not every one is, that is fine their choice), but I am and I have been praying like crazy for you (and me). Those pills for me are the devil incarnate LOL. I miss my aunt so much, and I know her son misses her terribly. Every time I want to take them I think of that situation. I don't know where you are spiritually, but I am doing something called Celebrate Recovery because AA/NA were not "clicking" for me this time. They did when I needed to stop drinking but not on this. Celebrate Recovery is different. It still has the steps which I believe really do help you recover (I know they do, they got me off alcohol) but it has somewhat more of a religious take on things. It is working for me this time. The people are awesome. I was so scared they would be judgemental but they are not at all. It's a lovely program and giving me a lot of support through this. You do not have to be Christian to attend. So, maybe you would want to try it maybe not....your decision. But it is everywhere across the US just go to Celebrate Recovery if you are interested. You go one night a week for a large group followed by a small group (mine is females chemical dependency) and then you just talk and hang out. I love it! You go one other night a week for a step study. I don't know, it is really helping me. But it is up to you. Regardless, I am here for you and let's keep talking because we are going to beat this thing and you cannot do it alone!!!!

georgiagirl5

And to craigtmccoy...please find some help in AA. It looks like you are in Alaska. Please go to Alcoholics Anonymous : and use the meeting locator. You can send me an email if you want. My name is Ali and my email is [email protected]. I have nine years of sobriety from alcohol. My husband has 16. He will talk to you if need be. Please, please email me and I will do all I can to try to help you. I hope you get this.

babyblueeyes39

Hey Georgia, yes ma'am I believe in my Lord. I was born & raised in alabama. Good ole southern baptist. I think that is one of my issues with the guilt and shame. I believe God loves me I just feel like crap when I think I let him down. My father in law was a reverand in our home churc in Alabama. I actually accepted Christ in his church at the age of 32. I have such a crazy story for you sometimes in a private message. Lol I know everyone beleives a little different and I wouldn't want to push or offend anyone. I will check the celebrate recovery out. I'm glad you talked to your doctor. I had hydrocodone to fall back on when I quit the xanax. It was tough. Your decision to quit before conceiving is very admiral. I'm 39 now and I have 3 grandchildren. My daughter was young when she had them but sheis a great mom & I know you will be too. I agree we need to beat thiss together. I'm glad I have you and everyone else for support, it does make it easier. I still feel ok as of now. I'm having some serious hot flashes. Lol. Can't wait to hear from yoou. And anyone else following this post. If there r errors in my post. Its because I'm using my phone and my 6 year old spilled koolaid on the keyboard part. So please bare with me.

georgiagirl5

LOL, I am Southern Baptist too, so never worry about offending me with religion. A baptized Southern Baptist who is a true believer in my only true Higher Power, who is Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. That is why I am in Celebrate Recovery. As a believer, I would highly, highly recommend it. It is so awesome and helping me so much. There is no doubt that God loves you, I have no doubt. He never ever turns His back on us, we only do it to Him. Don't worry about errors in your post I do it all the time when I type on my iphone. You for sure have me in your corner supporting you every step of the way. God loves us and can help us but He also helps us through other people. I believe deep in my heart that we can beat this!!! We can be happy again without hydrocodone! We can have serenity again without pills. I know it is so so hard as you are only a few days sober and I am just short of a month. But it CAN happen. Believe me, God is holding your hand every step of the way. I hope you check out Celebrate Recovery, you will find such peace there. We will be keeping in touch and feel free to PM me any time. As always, prayers to you.

babyblueeyes39

Today is day 5. I've seen better days. Last night I didn't get any sleep and feel like crap today. I keep saying each hour will be better. I hope everyone is doing well. I will check in later.

georgiagirl5

Glad you are still hanging in there! I am having some problems now with Ativan and Ambien so I am now a mess. Not on opiates, but still having a hard time. Keep hanging in there!

babyblueeyes39

Today is day 6. Wow I've made it this long. Today is not so bad but I don't have enery or motivation. I went on a mad cleaning spree yesterday evening and I'm paying for it today. My ankle is sore and feels bruised and my muscles are tired. Overall I can say its a little better. I have checked out celebrate recovery and plan on attending after my husbands surgery. The surgery was cancelled again because workmans comp hasn't approved it. I'm quit angry about that because he is suffering so badly. My daughter goes back to school on the 14th so I should have plenty to keep me busy... georgia I haven't heard from you yet. I hope you are doing ok. Remember one day at a time. Thanks to everyone for the support shown on here. Ill check in later.

georgiagirl5

Hey there! I am so, sorry I have not been here the last few days. I have been with Paxil withdrawal that was done too quickly and I was a mess. I hope you are still sober, I have been praying for you and hoping you can stay off them. I am getting acupuncture as part of my recovery and it is awesome! Also still doing Celebrate Recovery. Couldn't be doing better!!! In love with life again for the first time in a long time. I hope you are too.

babyblueeyes39

Hi Georgia, I'm so glad to hear from you. Yes I'm still sober but I am struggling. The pyhsical part is almost over, but the mental is kicking my butt. I have a appt with my dr Tuesday so I guess I will talk to him about it. I'm glad you're doing a little better. Hang in there.

georgiagirl5

Ok, let's keep in touch! I will keep praying for you. I know it is a mental struggle. It is like a game...those things speak to you, call your name! That diminishes after a while.

babyblueeyes39

For ayone that has read this post or will read it. This is a struggle like no other. How bad I just want to take a pill to feel better! Its taking every atom in my body not to use. It is a mental warfare. Gosh if I could just take my mind off it. I'm still sober today and that's all I can promise. I know the shame and guilt that goes along with using so why am I even considering it? I can't answer that. I thought this would get easier as the days went by. I'm fighting harder than ever today. I just want to scream!!!! It would be so easy to tell my dr Tuesday I'm in pain and need my meds back. I really believe he would give them to me. I do have conditions that wouuld warrant pain meds. I'm not going to break down today and hopefully I will get the strenght for tommorow. This will be a battle for life. I m an addict.