Where did they go?? Did the Bermuda Triangle eat them??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 377
Where did they go?? Did the Bermuda Triangle eat them??
So I've been floating around on these forums for a little over 3 months now. Its been a great tool of support to say the least! I really give this site a lot of credit in my journey to recovery. I've got to know a few of you somewhat privately as well.
As much as I love this place, there is just something I hate about it. How some people just disappear. A lot of us share very personal moments in our lives here. Some more than others, but we all do share a common bond with our present or past addictions. This leads to friendships built here, and people whom we enjoy following their journey through their posts. But it really sucks when someone you were following just vanishes. Not a word spoken, but just gone. My mind wonders, "Hmm I wonder what happened to them. Hope they are alright." Since we are all mostly here for drug/alcohol abuse, you can't help but think they might be back to their old ways. But in reality, they could have hit the lotto and living on some private island without internet ahahaha who knows.
I just simply think it sucks when people just walk away from here without a sound. Its not like this place isnt personal or anything! Were not all here playing bingo trying to rack up credits to enter in the weekly drawing! lol. I donno...I dont take it to heart or personal or anything like that. I just hate when that happens is all.
Alright that's enough from me for now!
Stay strong people!
-Ryan
As much as I love this place, there is just something I hate about it. How some people just disappear. A lot of us share very personal moments in our lives here. Some more than others, but we all do share a common bond with our present or past addictions. This leads to friendships built here, and people whom we enjoy following their journey through their posts. But it really sucks when someone you were following just vanishes. Not a word spoken, but just gone. My mind wonders, "Hmm I wonder what happened to them. Hope they are alright." Since we are all mostly here for drug/alcohol abuse, you can't help but think they might be back to their old ways. But in reality, they could have hit the lotto and living on some private island without internet ahahaha who knows.
I just simply think it sucks when people just walk away from here without a sound. Its not like this place isnt personal or anything! Were not all here playing bingo trying to rack up credits to enter in the weekly drawing! lol. I donno...I dont take it to heart or personal or anything like that. I just hate when that happens is all.
Alright that's enough from me for now!
Stay strong people!
-Ryan
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 124
Ryan,
Look at it this way...We all found this place, pretty much the same way...no friend told me about it, I was searching for help online and then BOOM here was this awesome site. Many of us disappear the exact same way...just as we found this place. We find the strength to stop, the connection with others, and then we're gone for a while. Sometimes life just happens and yes some relapse, some don't and some stick around. Me? I was gone for a while and I come back here as much as I can. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing positive or good, or helpful, or anything to say...but anyway, I know for me, I didn't want to be reminded of my addiction every day...but I came back after a little spell away...because I know I need this site, when I need it...and I want to help.
G2C
Look at it this way...We all found this place, pretty much the same way...no friend told me about it, I was searching for help online and then BOOM here was this awesome site. Many of us disappear the exact same way...just as we found this place. We find the strength to stop, the connection with others, and then we're gone for a while. Sometimes life just happens and yes some relapse, some don't and some stick around. Me? I was gone for a while and I come back here as much as I can. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing positive or good, or helpful, or anything to say...but anyway, I know for me, I didn't want to be reminded of my addiction every day...but I came back after a little spell away...because I know I need this site, when I need it...and I want to help.
G2C
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 382
Ya I can see what you mean. This site helps a lot, and some people you get to know. I'm still pushin though strong. 55 days sober now. I read that you were 3 months now, that's awesome. Good stuff. Oh and by the way when I started on here I read some of your threads and they helped me out.
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
Ryan, me too.
The people I have met here on SR have come to mean a lot to me, especially through the earliest days of my recovery. Bless you and them! I am so grateful for the ways in which virtual strangers have given so much help and support when I’ve needed it the most through a combination of tough love, straight shooting, absolute kindness, new ideas, humor, identification and camaraderie. I have sent messages to a number of people I haven’t seen here over these last months (or years), but in most cases I haven’t heard back.
If you’re on this list (and even if you’re not), know that you are missed, and I am thinking of you! It would mean so much to hear from you.
Tish28
Change4Penny
StageBear
CheryBaby66
BValjalo (you must be around here somewhere!)
Christin1225
VinterSemestre
LostButterfly
TommyK
Kj3880
SerenityQueen
If anyone else has heard from them, it would be a relief to know if they’re doing okay.
With enormous blessings and lots of love,
SIU
The people I have met here on SR have come to mean a lot to me, especially through the earliest days of my recovery. Bless you and them! I am so grateful for the ways in which virtual strangers have given so much help and support when I’ve needed it the most through a combination of tough love, straight shooting, absolute kindness, new ideas, humor, identification and camaraderie. I have sent messages to a number of people I haven’t seen here over these last months (or years), but in most cases I haven’t heard back.
If you’re on this list (and even if you’re not), know that you are missed, and I am thinking of you! It would mean so much to hear from you.
Tish28
Change4Penny
StageBear
CheryBaby66
BValjalo (you must be around here somewhere!)
Christin1225
VinterSemestre
LostButterfly
TommyK
Kj3880
SerenityQueen
If anyone else has heard from them, it would be a relief to know if they’re doing okay.
With enormous blessings and lots of love,
SIU
The truth shall set you free
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
(((SIU))) I’m still here, I don’t post as much as I use to. (for personal reasons) But I want you to know I read your posts and I get a lot from them. You keep it real.
Yes, I miss those people too. The good old days.
With tough love, straight shooting, absolute kindness and love.
TB
Yes, I miss those people too. The good old days.
With tough love, straight shooting, absolute kindness and love.
TB
desperately wrong...,
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Edinburgh, UK
Posts: 20
I've been away for almost 6 years - for exactly the reasons you feared people are disappearing. Too much time worrying about scoring and getting my degree. I think you have to understand that that is part of the unwritten contract with any online community. People have real and virtual lives. Real life develops in league with causality, virtual lives do not, and this is, for many people, the attraction. Let's be honest, we came here and find it helpful largely because we are NOT each others friends - otherwise I'd never have found this place 'cos the support would already have been there.
liability/access/toxic
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: NNJ/NYC
Posts: 61
I totally know what you mean.... hopefully they don't dissapear from here because they are back using... but many people just don't care about how their abscence creates worry to others.
You are obviously conscentious about other peoples feelings as well as your own... I am the same and hope not to dissappoint friends wether here on the internet or friends we see often, sometimes or rarely. You wrote a letter to a friend about having to avoid his invitation for some really valid reasons pertaining to your recovery. It was really proof of the caring kind of person you are. Your letter was written with great affection and your friend knew that you truly cared about his feelings.
I still receive no response from the friend I sometime post about here. It is so hard to accept how he hurts me by not responding to me. He even had been down right cruel before starting to ignore mee. Even though we are both sober he refuses to even give a word of support or acknowledgement that we are both going through the same thing. No one was closer to either of us than each other, for a year and a half. Funny we didn't fight over anything and when he was in rehab I sent emails of support because I ddn't want him to feel deserted and I had no intention of deserting him. People are sometimes heartless.... but you are a great example of a caring and decent person.
You are obviously conscentious about other peoples feelings as well as your own... I am the same and hope not to dissappoint friends wether here on the internet or friends we see often, sometimes or rarely. You wrote a letter to a friend about having to avoid his invitation for some really valid reasons pertaining to your recovery. It was really proof of the caring kind of person you are. Your letter was written with great affection and your friend knew that you truly cared about his feelings.
I still receive no response from the friend I sometime post about here. It is so hard to accept how he hurts me by not responding to me. He even had been down right cruel before starting to ignore mee. Even though we are both sober he refuses to even give a word of support or acknowledgement that we are both going through the same thing. No one was closer to either of us than each other, for a year and a half. Funny we didn't fight over anything and when he was in rehab I sent emails of support because I ddn't want him to feel deserted and I had no intention of deserting him. People are sometimes heartless.... but you are a great example of a caring and decent person.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I think people disappear for all sorts of reasons. Some go back out and use, some get busy with something in their lives. Some are off licking their wounds over some real or imagined hurt they experienced here or in some other aspect of their recovery support system.
It's hard to not get personally invested in a friend, cyber or not.
Forums can be drama magnets, and this one is pretty good about being stable, but one thing that tends to stir up a huge drama pot is someone posting that they won't be around. Some people do it specifically to get the strokes of people posting hoards of "please don't go" pleas. Or accusing one another of driving so and so away.
For folks who just needs some time off, they often DON'T bring it up, because they don't want to have to deal with all the "please don't gos, I need you man" pleas. Because part of them feels a little guilty about leaving good people they respect behind, people who've taken time to help them.
But yeah, it's hard. New hellos, real friends and goodbyes are part of the process of recovery and of life. We are learning life skills here, I try to take the lesson, even as I mourn the good bye. I've disappeared a few times myself, for all sorts of reasons, sometimes simply losing my net access. What's great is that every time I come back, it still feels like home.
It's hard to not get personally invested in a friend, cyber or not.
Forums can be drama magnets, and this one is pretty good about being stable, but one thing that tends to stir up a huge drama pot is someone posting that they won't be around. Some people do it specifically to get the strokes of people posting hoards of "please don't go" pleas. Or accusing one another of driving so and so away.
For folks who just needs some time off, they often DON'T bring it up, because they don't want to have to deal with all the "please don't gos, I need you man" pleas. Because part of them feels a little guilty about leaving good people they respect behind, people who've taken time to help them.
But yeah, it's hard. New hellos, real friends and goodbyes are part of the process of recovery and of life. We are learning life skills here, I try to take the lesson, even as I mourn the good bye. I've disappeared a few times myself, for all sorts of reasons, sometimes simply losing my net access. What's great is that every time I come back, it still feels like home.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: okc, ok
Posts: 107
Originally Posted by SteppingItUp 
If anyone else has heard from them, it would be a relief to know if they’re doing okay.
SIU
Thanks...
The truth shall set you free
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
Originally Posted by margarok
What about young Jason, who was trying so hard to stay close to his little sis in foster care?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-15-a.html
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Boca *****
Posts: 211
Nobody missed me, but I'm still here. lol I've been dealing with a boat load of personal issues lately...and some legal crap AND my cousin got arrested (he's mentally ill and I took care of him because nobody else in the family would).
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